Just a MINute mom

新年快樂新 Happy Chinese New Year!! Year of the Dragon

2012-01-29T21:54:00.000-05:00

It's a celebration! Chinese New Year.

We celebrate the Year of the Dragon for our children to retain and remember their culture. To enjoy another culture that brought us quite a few of our treasures.

Red envelopes with "lucky" money. Door decorations. Going to the teens all time fave Chinese restaurant where they cook for them while they watch and salivate- ha ha.

We have a Dragon boy, Camden will be 12 this year making him born in the Year Of the Dragon. And he is quite the typical dragon child, fiery, bigger than life heart, intense, smart. A joy even when he's spittin' fire:) ~~after all he does get that red hair honestly~~

So at this Chinese New Year's time, we enjoy the treasures we have been blessed with. We had a special surprise for them. We don't have many opportunities to have Chinese people over living in a rural area, so we make our own celebrations.

Via our pastor and wife, we were asked to come to movie night at their house Friday. We kept the movie a surprise. It was the Jesus film in CHINESE. The teens really enjoyed it. Kat got a kick out of picking out a few words she knew. I heard "son" more than once:) We had a ton of snacks, even so, the pastor was shocked how much these kids can eat- ha ha. Not us, we are used to it.

It's a standing joke with Chance, who has little impulse control when it comes to food. He ate himself sick for Chinese New Year and when I exclaimed I forgot my camera for our meal pics, Chloe went and took a picture of Chance in the WC! (Don't worry mom, she put the camera in the door and snapped the shot, she didn't look) I will not be posting that one. You all can thank me later.

We have some interesting conversations with that boy, Chance, he got in trouble this week in school because he thought he could throw out some one's notebook and he could pretend he didn't know better. WELL..... he now has detention to prove to him he will not get away with that any longer.

He really thinks he is Joe Cool and needs to get over himself. He said in the van today when he was asking what he needed to do to get his Ipod back and Chloe chimed in. He said "Mom, I thought we were supposed to keep our own mouth on self?"

After I deciphered what he was saying I realized he was meaning something we tell them OFTEN. Mind your own business, don't worry about someone else getting in trouble, keep yourself in line.

Other than Mr. Funny guy's issues in school, we have continued to see everyone working together, EFFORT being made, harmony working in our home. Oh, the JOY of that is huge.

Even better is Chase, who saw the Jesus film and then asked the Lord into his heart. WHOO HOOOO, our son is saved. Not even 3 years home with these 3 teens and all 3 have learned of Him, want to belong to Him and serve Him.

Our pastor and his wife have been so incredibly supportive and we are so blessed to have them helping us plug away with the teens::)

It just blows me away that all 3 have been able to take this step, are able to feel the love Our Father has for them. It's huge for them and yet again, have to feel thankful that God brought them here.

All of them:) Children of God. Orphans no longer.

Hope your New Year is as blessed as ours.

Gettin' deeper

2012-01-26T09:50:00.001-05:00

I don't respond every time someone leaves a comment on the blog. Honestly I don't have time. I read them all, trust me, I do.

But this comment left me with a door, that I see needs closed. You see I give a window view into our lives, I do not expect an open door. I give the window because people need to know what is involved when you see that post "child aging out, someone needs to do something!!"

And you feel the tug. I am NOT saying if God shows you this is YOUR child to ignore that, no WAY. But if any family *thinks* any older child is going to come with NO issues, quite frankly, they are gonna get slammed. And THEN WHAT? One of the burdens of my heart is these older kids who are or aren't prepared for adoption, parents that are or aren't prepared for adoption, and the issues cause them to NOT be able to stay in the home.

There are NOT enough resources for these families. There are very few helps, very few choices, and it's wrong. Support, love, understanding, care and most importantly EDUCATION should not end with the airplane touching down. Oh, got them home, now live a happy ever after? For these older children it's not that simple.
So here's the comment-

Let me begin by saying that I enjoy reading your blog and appreciate your honesty and commitment to your children. I know this may sound like a criticism or judgment but it is not meant to be. It is a sincere question. How do you think Pheobe's adoption will play into this? In an earlier post I think you mentioned that one of the children might have RAD and you reference attachment issues that are so severe that you mention that the children may not be able to stay in your family.

And let me respond.

I do honestly feel it's a little critical. Ouch. But I'm gonna address this 'cause it's more important than me feeling a little judged.

Phoebe's adoption is God planned. God knew what child would fit in this family. It was no surprise to me she was as young as she is. I don't have any doubt that it would be a rare (if any)teen aged child the 3 bio teens would accept in their lives, as they are so bonded. And not feel threatened by their standing in this family. I can't see taking a teen with an unknown personality and trying to get the 3 teens to accept that new teen, no matter where they are from. And how awful would that be for the new teen:( So Phoebe being young is right for this family. As in any family, our littles are treated as littles, different from the teens. She is not competition to them, she's a little girl.

Also she has a condition that one of the teens best friend's has and they understand the issues it brings. They are very willing to help her and are excited to accept her as their sister.

Now as for the kids with RAD. I mentioned they all have signs of RAD and SO DO I. I have no doubts these teens and possibly the adopted littles may have "signs" of RAD forever. Just as God accepts us as is, He doesn't take away our past hurts, our past pains, but He and only HE makes us WHOLE in Him, we don't expect to make our children WHOLE. We expect to help them get as far as we can take them. We expect them to get that our commitment to them is unending. We give them everything they need, we give them God to choose or not, they must make that decision, as we all do.

I want to clarify the "children may not be able to stay in our family" Uhh, did you read the whole post? No offense but I think you took that wrong. I said we told them we thought about if they needed another family because we wondered if WE were the issue, our family makeup, our parenting style. But that was just plain silly and I pointed that out to them because they would take their issues right into another family and no family makeup, parenting style would change that-- we had to make them own the issue, to understand that NO FAMILY would accept them not being nice to each other or being disrespectful to the parent/s.

I even told the boys that them blaming US for their behavior was like me cooking supper, burning it, then blaming them. It was that silly. It makes NO sense. But that's what we get from them, WE cause them to behave with disrespect. They actually SAY THAT.

And I felt we were home long enough and the boys understood enough to see what they were doing. And they DID. They got what I was saying, this was HUGE because it's been an ongoing issue of blame on us for how they act. Which is NOT going to/ has not worked.

We told the boys they are STUCK WITH US. We told them our commitment was to them. Forever. That we want them to be HAPPY and enjoy being here, enjoy being part of a family and all that gives them. Whatever it takes. And it took pointing out to them that they wouldn't be able to be happy and make it even in another family- they HAD to work on these behaviors of theirs for them to get it.

Because with these older ones, it's different. It's not lollipops and roses.~~although I like lollipops and roses and haven't gotten either in a really long time~~ It's WORK. It's the reality they do not want to be here sometimes. They WANT to go back and forget all about this family. They don't enjoy having parents at times. They don't know how/don't want to behave in a family. And the issues aren't for 6 months while they can't speak good English, it's ongoing. It's trying on a family. Draining.

And sometime like any teen, they need a swift kick in the butt (it's a saying MOM, I'm not kicking any kids here) to get that the behaviors they are doing are ruining their happiness. NOT US. Not being adopted, not this family. And they have to choose to work on their negative behaviors or not, we can't force them to follow the rules here and accept being a family member. BUT we give them every opportunity to BE a complete and happy member of our family.

With teen treasures, it's a whole world of difference, some super, some not so super. And if no one addresses how they handled it, then how does anyone else learn? Trust me when I tell you I am NOT the only parent of a teen treasure who blames ME for their behaviors. OIY.

It's hard. These children are very precious, no doubt, but they come with pasts that give them heavy burdens to carry. We have to lighten that load, give them big shoulders to carry the load for them, but often they won't hand it over. They keep the burden and let it bury them. We willingly take the fears, the pain, the lack of feeling worthy, to be the parents. But some of them don't WANT to be parented. They are too used to carrying that load.

We have Chase who has been that child. BUT we see him trying so hard to figure out, can he trust us, can he possibly hand over some of the load? And with each TINY step we make with him he is making it. NOT just living here, getting from us food, shelter, clothes, education till he can get out. That's how he HAS been living. A huge struggle. Hard for us to take. Hard for the other kids to deal with him not caring about anyone but himself and what he can get. His survival has been his life. And at times he has been miserable with hanging on to just surviving, not thriving. Because thriving is enjoying his life, understanding he CAN let his guard down.

And honestly I'm so excited we are getting there with him. We WANT him to be happy. We want him to heal and find his way. He is our SON. We love him so much. We want to see him be able to have normal healthy relationships in his lifetime. We want him to know he is worthy of our love, God's love, a woman's love.

We also know that there may be parts of his life we can not heal, we can not get to him in time but that he may see later in life what we were trying to do for him. Just as sometimes we stray or need to grow in years to understand God's love for us. How we are meant to Love Him.

But even as I shared this struggle, our children have continued to work together, to work at being family members. Even their ESL teacher e-mailed me and said "What happened, Chase is speaking to Chance?" Because I haven't shared this because it was a "sibling" issue more so between our 3 that I didn't think could help anyone else, but Chase decided a while back that Chance was blending into this family and he was mad AT CHANCE.

He hasn't spoken to his brother except for complete necessity for MONTHS. And I have spoken to both of them with no change. Chance even came to me and said he thought "Chase hate me" and I assured him it was Chase's issue NOT him. Can you just see how hurting my sons were? Chase hurting because Chance was "making it" here quicker and easier, Chance hurting because his brother was jealous of him but him not understanding that or being able to change it.

And this talk with them, this breakthrough, has brought back their brotherhood. They chatter in their Chinese. They laugh with each other. The tension released from this being resolved is soooo good.

It's ongoing, it's taking work. But I share because I want people to see, even these tough ones, they are worth it. It can be done. They are our children. For good. Even thinking of them in another family makes me want to vomit. Seriously. And that would be the sound of a door closing. It's not our road. And these 3 know that.

They know they MUST give their all here, because this is it. It's make it here, we are offering it all to them, or not make it here, just live here and "hang out" till they are adults. They WANT to make it, they WANT all it means to be FAMILY. They WANT to be able to accept they are LOVED.

As for Phoebe, she, like Camden and Kat, would have been asked to go play in their room, Kat and Camden found a fun game to play together in her room and they had no issue doing it for the 30 minutes it took to address the issue with the teens. Chloe was in on "the talk" just as a help for me to tell them she has made it here, she will help them in any way to make it here. They couldn't say it was not possible with her sitting right there:)

And the littles were thrilled at the end result of the teens being willing to work to be a part of this family. They got treated better by the teens, as they started right away making efforts. It was a win-win situation for this family.

And that, my friend, is what we are all about. Helping these treasure make it. Helping them take the past, accept that it was but moving them forward and not letting it cripple them. Too many people we know have "some" issue that they use to cripple themselves for LIFE. Something that happened to them. And we are not without "things" that have happened to us. Things we don't know how to get/how we got through without God. But taking that "issue" and using it to learn, to grow and even give back to children who need it to help THEM overcome and become good people who can give back-- well that's just plain amazing.

God paired us up PERFECT with these kids. Not one doubt about that. And I for one, thank Him every day for them and thank Him for using me for His purpose with these children as well as in every way He wants in my life.

Note to all: Chloe and I (and once in a while the boys chip in) are working together to assist families who have adopted teen treasures, to offer calling, video calls, for older adopted kids who are struggling, lonely, scared, unsure of what is expected of them. Chloe said "It's like being a missionary at home!"
It's something we see a huge need for, and as our kids are bilingual and have such wide differences in personalities, needs, struggles, it could turn out to be a HUGE help where it's badly needed.

Yet again, we see God using our family in a positive way:) And we are very thankful to Him.

Gettin' Deep

2012-01-23T12:58:00.000-05:00

It's gonna get deep here. And I'm not talking snow. So if you have no interest in older child adoption/adjustment ~~or you are not my mother, why are you here?~~ and you want fluff, go back and look at the last post of pretty snow, otherwise hang on to your seats, we're goin' in.

This weekend we had a breakthrough. Don't get too excited, it's been one of many. You see, there is no magic day, no magic number that brings you to a time that you can say "yup, they are totally adjusted."

It's a constant work. That sometimes we get tired of. Just as the kids get tired of working at it. And they slack. And they revert back to survival living. Which is not fun. We get frustrated addressing it over and over. ~~Yes, MOM, I know I never listen either, don't call to remind me.~~

I touched on empathy once before, our kids LACK empathy. They have HUGE compassion for others. Huge. They are the first to see a commercial saying just 50 cents a day will feed a child and they want to know how to send their own money to help that child. They HATE the thought of a child going hungry because they have known true stomach-aching-hunger.

But put a child in their world, one they have to compete with? Empathy is GONE. Bye, bye. Outta here. Not possible, you see.

Why? Well it goes back to orphanage care, having to survive. You can't feel sorry for someone who is getting more food than you and you have to swipe it from them because you justify needing that food- to survive. See what I mean? You lose empathy, because you have to. You have to be strong. Empathy is seen as weakness. Not good when you are fighting many kids to survive in your environment.

So as we bring these treasures home, many of these behaviors come marching right along. Because for years, our children have used these ways to make it. And we thank God they have made it.

Then we sit in wonder of their lack of empathy. How to reteach it. It's not simple. It's deep. It's so hard to have them live with siblings, even BIO siblings they will throw under the bus without a back wards glance to get what they think they NEED.

We have the burden to prove to these children that we will provide for them- ALL OF THEM, that we do NOT play favorites. That we do not look to make things unfair to them. That we do not adopt them to do anything but love them and make them our children.

Granted, we had a leg up, if you will, with trusting us from the boys, we went back for them. But that only lasted so long. Then the deep seated fears, the doubts, the lack of trust in us had to be addressed, for them to move forward.

It all came to a head again, yesterday. Both boys refused to listen to me, to even respond to me. Their lack of respect has been tough, not gonna lie. Dad told them to "knock it off" and they refused to respond to HIM. So after they sat for a while to "cool off" ~~and mother's urge to slap them up along side their heads eased and the flames off my red hair died down~~ I called the 3 of them to the living room. Chloe, Chance and Chase.

And I told them the truth. That there were 2 roads here. One road is accepting us as their parents. Making it as our children. Trusting us, letting us teach them how things work in this culture, correcting them when they are wrong, caring about them. Getting an education, having us at their backs.

And I asked Chloe, "Did she feel she was a true part of this family? Did she feel we are fair with her? Does she feel we love her? Does she love us? Does she trust us?" And she said "Yes." Then I added "Did you feel this way right away or did it take time and work to get here?" And she said it took time.

So I pointed out to the boys, it's gonna be 2 years soon. It's decision time. The decision is this-- make it or not.

And I made it clear what NOT making it means. It does NOT mean leaving us. It means staying in survival mode and hanging out here, just living, using us to get their needs met till they are old enough to be on their own. A sad way to live, but one that Chase has chosen so far. And he's struggled to be happy, they all know that, they have seen it.

The other road is accepting we are their parents. Doing all they can to be a part of this family. Accepting they must respect us, both of us. That it's not acceptable to disrespect me and my rules even when they don't agree with them. It's clearly possible because Chloe has done it, we are trustworthy.

I made sure to tell them, we are committed to them. That God gave us them. That we promised from our hearts to God that we would be their parents and all that means. We would provide for them, we would treat them as ours. That we would give them everything we give the others. AND we have done it.

Not always been HAPPY doing it when they act like they do, but we aren't going to always like their behaviors any more than they are always going to like all of our rules. That we are human, just like them, we bleed red.

But that doesn't change our commitment to them. That we will live with them either road they chose. That we would be deeply hurt and sad if they choose to just hang out here using us, but we would not "garbage them" as Chase says. We do not do that with children God gives us. It would not honor our promise to God and to them. (Chase has finally gotten it that we can't/ won't send him back so he has changed it to "garbage" him)

But if they want to choose the road of accepting us as their parents, that it takes WORK. Chloe worked hard to get there, to overcome behaviors that they used in the orphanage that she had to learn did not work here, within a family.

And we would continue to work with them but they had to understand other people in this family have feelings too, other people are being hurt by the behaviors they have had here. And they are teaching the littles behaviors that are not acceptable.

I also told them, we really wanted the best for them, that we had thought about if another family would be best for them, we cared enough to want them happy. But that we didn't see how that would help them, their behaviors were not going to work in ANY family setting. It wasn't our family, it was them, and they HAVE to take responsibility for these behaviors and commit to working on them. Just like we committed to them to be their parents.

*Note here* We have never mentioned another family situation to them before, we do not think it's WISE to let any older child think there is another family as an option at ALL. We have fostered teens who would go from home to home on purpose to use people, it's just sad. We have told our children they are STUCK with US.

But for things to work here they must learn to have empathy for this family, the people in this home. We can survive without it, but it's not going to be the BEST life they can have, the life we WANT for them. Empathy is not looking to see if Kat is getting more noodles than them. Keeping count on EVERY decision we make in regards to the children and deciding we are wrong then not having respect for us. As the parents we ARE.

So they responded. They cried. They apologized. To me, then to dad. They promised they want to work on their issues and will respect us, even ME, the one they try to blame:(

Then they went into family mode. I don't know what else to call it. Chloe asked to make noodles for all of them. And they worked together. I have never seen them so committed and kind with each other. EVER. They boiled a bunch of eggs and offered them to all. I found the eggs in the fridge this morning like this---

I thought it might be a dream but it continued into this morning when I heard Chase and Chance talking, laughing together. When they helped Camden wipe the dogs paws when he let them out this morning.

Now lest you all think I have totally lost my mind, I have no doubt this will NOT be the norm of our life. I have not one doubt I will have to sit these children down again and have a talk with them again someday. Might even be next week. ~~Let's hope not they wear me out with this.~~

BUT I also have no doubt that at some point we will know, just as I knew with Chloe, that if we ask them, "Do you feel a part of this family, do you know you are loved, do you love us?" That their answer will be " YES". And they will mean it.

Just as God never gives up on us, we will not give up on these treasures. They really are Teen Treasures. Worthy, Willful. Work, Wonderful. Worth it.

Totally worth it. And today, just like yesterday and tomorrow, we love them.

Always.

Our corner of the world

2012-01-21T11:38:00.001-05:00

Here's what our corner of the world looks like today. Isn't it pretty? Messy, per dad, who is out shoveling, but sure looks pretty from my window view inside.

We got about 6 inches of snow, but are supposed to get ice on top of it today, we are hoping to just get all in snow. Much nicer for all.

The kids are out playing, Chloe made snow angels on the way down to get the morning paper, she took all the great pics of the house all snow covered. And herself, of course.

It seems like it should be Christmas or something. Oh, that's right, that's over. Phew. Not going there again so soon:)

My doggies went out and Tommy turned around and came back in. He is not fond of snow higher than him. Teddy was amused, he was bouncing around in it like a bunny.

I called yesterday to get our tax appointment set up. I gave our name and was promptly asked, "Oh, who did you adopt this year?" "Ha ha. Very funny," I said. "NO ONE." But then I did fess up and admit we are working on the next one:)

Enjoy the pictures of the kiddos having a snow filled fun time.

At least they aren't saying they are "bored",right?

Sibling love

2012-01-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

My wonderful children had off school yesterday. And they were soooo happy to have time to spend with one another. It just shined through. I adore their creativity.

I posted this card Camden left Kat and her loving response back at him. Don't ya just feel the love? (Kat's says "Quit annoying me you mean brother)

This was the result of Kat now having a little friend who knows our phone number. ~~too well~~ Her name is Paige, but Kat calls her "Paigey."

Chance asked if her name was PG-13? Obviously someone is watching too many movies. And Kat's friend better be "G" rated, anyway.

Anyhoos, now close to the top of my list of things to do before the children are all grown and released on society, is to teach my daughter phone etiquette. You know, putting the phone on speaker phone, hanging up on each other just to call back over and over, blowing whistles in the phone, telling each other to "talk" to their dogs, etc. is not so funny after a few hours of this nonsense.

They even managed to paint their nails the same colors, all while they hung on the phone, of course.

Beside the phone ringing, I got a ton done yesterday, even with the kids home. I taught 2 boys how to clean bathrooms (their wives can thank me someday). I wrote 3 letters long over due. I had hubby pick up a picture order, now that the holidays are past, I decided to get caught up on the kids life books, and start Phoebe's.

WELL--- I was VERY far behind on every one's, like a year behind! Ahhh. So over 500 pictures later, I can now get busy scrap booking. The kids love their books so much, I normally don't get more than a few months behind, but with the move and all I let it go much longer. Shame on me.

I trimmed hair too, Chloe's bangs, Kat's bangs are FINALLY grown in from the mystery bang issue, and Chase's. I try to keep their haircuts staggered, but Chase's hair grows incredibly fast. I figured I have saved us about $7-8K over the last 25 years of me cutting hair for my family.

Not bad for a nurse/hair dresser/cook/cleaner/ laundry queen/scrap booker/ momma, oh you get my drift, just another hat I wear:)

God makes mothers "women of talent" for a good reason:))

A Precious Gem

2012-01-14T14:30:00.000-05:00

Cute. Precious. Stinkin' adorable, it's all I can say over the pictures we got of Miss Phoebe girl:)

I could just squeeze her, she's that adorable.
It's so hard to wait for this treasure. It's been a long road, just to get our paperwork moving.

And knowing she is there, waiting. Growing more each day:(

So to be able to send her things while she waits, to let her get to know us through pictures and letters is such a wonderful comfort. And a bonus when we get to see HER. In pictures with the things we sent to her.

She's a fan of Hello K*tty, thinkin' her and Kat are gonna get along just fine.

For those of you wondering, since we ~~who is this WE, it's all ME blogging here~~ have been amiss in our home remodel, moving, home study hardships, to tell you much about this newest treasure.

She is in fact, Chinese. I know you all figured but she is blond after all. She does have albinism. She was born with the lack of pigmentation. She has low vision, she can see but has difficulties in bright light and likely has depth perception issues.

She is wearing glasses in her picture which is good, that someone cared enough to get her eyes checked and glasses for her.

We sent her the pink adorable sun glasses. She's full of spunk, of that we can SEE. Fun, fun, fun.

We asked for her hair to be let grow out, which they did agree to. We sent a red hair bow to remind them:)

Poor girl needs some girl hair. Not that we don't love her as is. We sure do. Kat draws pictures constantly and always includes Miss Phoebe. She can't wait for her to get here.

I'm enjoying thinking each holiday we celebrate we should be able to say this is it, never another Valentine's Day, Birthday, Easter, etc. without her here.

We all thought it is way too cute that she obviously likes to play, has great fashion sense --check out those candy striped leggings!! She'll fit right in here
P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y.

Isn't she just a gem? We are so thankful to God for news of our precious treasure:)

Who is this?

2012-01-11T09:25:00.001-05:00

Anyone know who this girl is?

I *thought* she was Miss Kitty, my daughter. My daughter I adore. You know, the grouchy one I get ready each morning for school, not knowing if I will get tears, dirty looks, non speaking mornings, it's ALWAYS an adventure.

So yesterday morning DAD stayed home because Mal was getting her wisdom teeth out and he was taking her so he didn't have to leave till after Miss Kitty got the bus here.

And do you think there was any grump in sight? No, not this girl, she SKIPPED down the hall to the bathroom. She SANG in her room. She got dressed without a tear. She SMILED when I told her to brush her teeth.

I have no idea what happened to this child, except that the girl I know, that grumpy one? She returned for sure this morning, when DAD was no where in sight. Tears, drama, shoe issues, fussing over packing lunch- it was ALL there.

I *think* she's messin' with me. Big time. I don't know what her teen years could bring. OIY. Good thing we love her tons:)

I'm rewarding myself for getting her to the bus without raising my voice ~~I won't tell you all what I said in the laundry room while loading the washer, where no one can hear me~~ with nice warm fresh baked cinnamon rolls.

Thus is why mother is fluffy. It's all their fault. No stress, mother wouldn't NEED cinnamon rolls.

At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Just like those cinnamon rolls are gonna stick to my thighs- sigh.

Chloe thanks

2012-01-08T16:25:00.000-05:00

Chloe is so thankful for the 29+ people who have answered God's call and are helping her to get to Costa Rica. She said "Thank YOU ALL SO MUCH, thank you!!"

She's just absolutely thrilled she will be going.

I said 29+ because please don't think we discount the people who could not donate, but they cared enough to pray. Prayer is power, an amazing way to ask God to use us, as well as a way to care as we lift each other up in prayers. I love to pray, talking with my Father is so special.

Now, if for some reason, you hear God telling you, donate, donate! Make a difference--

Let me tell you, you have NOT missed the boat. No way. He's still aware of a need. Not for Costa Rica but for a China girl that needs to come home. Miss Faith, whom we can show our FAITH for, we can go on over to her parent's blog and give, give, give. Miles of the Heart Go on, check it out.

Can't you just see her in 3 years or so, heading off on a mission trip? Or even just learning what her name MEANS. Learning for the first time about GOD, the awesome difference He can make in her life?

It's one of the most wonderful things I love about adopting our kiddos, giving them GOD. They had NO clue about God before they were adopted. They believed in evolution, and that some people worship a dude with a big belly (Buddah) They were CLUELESS as to the Word of God.

And yet, when they were offered it, they have taken to it, some more slow than others, but they are open minded and willing to believe in Him. That He loves them, He is there for them, and we live for Him. And even wanting to go on mission trips to teach people who don't have Him yet. WOW. Does that amaze you like it does ME?

Oh and while you are donating to Faith's adoption, you get some wonderful yummy smelling soaps, a perk for your donation:) How cool is that?

So please, head on over there, since I know there is NOTHING better than seeing a girl /boy get a God loving family and knowing you were able to play a part in it.

It has to make God so stinkin' happy, I wonder if He can do cartwheels in a robe? (Don't be thinking our God doesn't have a super sense of humor, I KNOW He was laughing like crazy when I figured out Chloe had siblings and His plan became obvious.)

So I'm telling ya, head on over, get some sweet smellin' soap and give, remember we can't possibly out give GOD:)

Wanna Help?

2012-01-04T18:26:00.000-05:00

Update-- Did you all read this-- the 1 comment left on this post?? Besides being THRILLED about the Chip In total and soooo thankful for you ALL---you gotta read this--

Caleigh said...

Hello I'm 14 I was called to missions over this summer and wish I could help with tbe funds but can't I hope this is a LIFE changeing thing for her I will be praying and if there is any way for me to email you or her to tell y'all my whole story I would love to and just so I can let her know how much love other people have for other people.just like she has for them

Caleigh Jordan in GOD I trust love y'all

Do you know how special that comment is? Do you not think God is so incredibly tickled over these girls? Do you? This touched my heart, so much, because here is a girl, another one of God's precious children who went on a mission trip. Answered His call. At age 14!! I mean, do any of us ADULTS have trouble answering His call? Really? At times we question and wonder but these girls, young and innocent as can be, they ANSWER and--

---they make a difference. WOW. I am blown away.

And yes, Caleigh, you wonderful child, you may e-mail us, as can anyone who would like to at ronvic7@yahoo.com

Now-how is Chloe reacting to the Chip In? WELL--- I think I am now deaf from the ear splitting squeal she let out. Good thing blogging is writing, huh?

Then she got quiet and serious, and I knew, here comes the questions.

Chloe: "Mother, who are these people, do they know me?"

Mom: "Some do, most don't. These are God's people, answering His call."

Chloe: "How they know He call them?"

Mom: "They feel it in their hearts and they want to be a part of you helping people on your trip. They know you are taking the teaching of God to these people in need. Not everyone can go on a mission trip but this is a way they can go- through YOU."

Chloe: "Oh, so this what it means that God uses people? "

Mother: "Yes, He can call us for many different things, we just have to listen to Him when He asks."

Chloe: "Mother, why didn't I ask before this for all the money I needed, oh, that wouldn't be right, would it?"

Mother: "No, Chloe it wouldn't." (As I am thinking- she is a teen after all:))

She's so thankful for each and every one of you, praying, donating, caring, it all matters so much.

And WHOOO HOOOO, she's at 96% and can't wait to see 100% funding!! Anyone want to put her there??? I can handle another squeal (I think) and don't need my hearing to blog, so go for it.

Thank you, thank you THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God is SO GOOD!

Once upon a time there was a special little girl who needed a family. And God showed a family they needed this girl. She came home to this family and brought with her brothers, as well as a wonderful spunky attitude and teen spirit.

As her parents got to know this precious and wonderful girl, now turned daughter, they watched as she grew, she learned to trust and they saw what a HUGE, bigger than life, HUGE heart she had. For those in need.

She wanted to help in any way she could. So it was no surprise to this family of hers when a mission trip plan came up and she signed up to go along. She is eager, excited, and has worked very hard to earn her way.

She has saved every gift (birthday, Christmas, etc) given to her to add to her funds to go. She has participated in numerous fund raisers. She took a job at an ice cream stand over the summer and saved everything she earned from it toward her trip.

She has 1 week left to come up with the remaining funds she needs. She is stressing. BIG TIME. For she has not yet learned how God will provide when the heart is pure. And the need is for Him. To do His work.

She is $750 short. We have helped her with her fundraising, from buying products, to helping make peanut clusters, and we have paid for her plane ticket to and from Costa Rica. She leaves the end of next month and although this momma is struggling with her being gone from us for over a week when it seems like we only just got her home and I want to hang onto my girl, I KNOW this trip could completely change her life.

Give her a way to give to others, which she so deeply desires to do. She is so caring and so giving, we are just thrilled to call her our girl.

So I am hoping you all will show Chloe, our teen treasure, God's love once again, how He will answer the need she has in order for her to go.

Some of the highlights of the trip will be building a classroom on to the church there, hold Vacation Bible School for up to 500 children, a baby shower for the family that hosts our church group. It's a group of 25 people going who will make an amazing difference in the short time they are there.

They will even leave behind the clothes they take to wear on their trip for the people there to have because they have so little. And learn a little Spanish, which is very funny sounding coming from my Chinese daughter.

I know she is going to have such a special time and I know she will be able to be a wonderful asset to the group having come from where she did. She exudes HOPE, LOVE, GOD's LOVE for His people.

So I ask, would you like to be a part of Chloe's journey? She's asking very nicely and has made a promise to do all she can for the people they are going to help:)

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T13:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, 2011 is gone. What a mixture of emotions and experiences we have seen go by.

Our blessings were many, a new larger home, the sale of our old house, learning we have another daughter to bring home, a new puppy, time under our belts with the boys equals adjustment for all.

We suffered some losses, a beloved uncle and cousin lost their battles with cancer. And we struggled with one of our children, heading down the wrong path of life. We also struggled to move forward with Phoebe's adoption.

Because it's not been an easy road. Our home study took MONTHS longer than expected, due to circumstances out of our hands. And it came with huge difficulty understanding "why?" Not that we are saying we "get" why it happened, no, I don't think we do.

But we DID come to understand it was something we had to hang tough through and we prayed hard and never ONCE felt we were not meant to go forward for Miss Phoebe so we didn't give up. No one guarantees an easy road when you follow God's call, and even us "old veterans" of adoption can be slammed with issues you could never expect.

But we have been able to see the paperwork issues finally get resolved. Our home study is on it's way to immigration FINALLY. Yeah, we are STILL back at that step.

It's a huge relief to us and we are hoping and praying all other steps move along quickly from here on out, because through all this our concerns were for this little girl, needing her family to come get her. And delays for us, mean delays for HER.

As wrong as that seems to us, we really do believe in God's perfect timing so we as we enter 2012 we can't wait to move forward to get through the steps required to adopt this precious treasure of a girl and know that next New Year she will be here. In our family photo, part of our lives. We are very anxious for that.

Can't you just see where she fits? Right next to Kat, in front of dad, beside Chloe, a blondie beauty meant to be. 2012 hopefully will bring this girl to her "spot" in our lives. The year of Phoebe.

We wish everyone the best in this New Year, from our family to yours:)

The chaos of Christmas break

2011-12-28T11:46:00.002-05:00

Yep, it sure is. Chaos. The kids are all home.

The kids have now been home for a whole 5 days straight. And they are blessing me with their boredom. EVERY-LAST-ONE-OF-THEM. Have I mentioned they are all HOME. 5 days straight now?

I've heard the declaration that the "floor" is covered in snow. Now to all you (normal) folks that means the ground. And it's snowing here. Chloe is thrilled and yelling, "Mother, the floor is covered, why didn't you tell me?"

As if I am her personal weather informer?

So far Chase has stripped his bed, adding to my laundry work, of which he declared, I needed to do the laundry as it was piling up? WHOA, guess who put a halt to big boy's demands? Yep, that'd be ME. Put him right in his place.

He doesn't like that too well, but I will not allow him to push me around. And he will if allowed. As much as I love him, I will not allow him to bully anyone.

And in many ways he tries to bully us all, sans DAD, because it's how he was used to living in the past. And it's a hard habit to break him of, so I deal with it often:(

Chance is very happy today, they have a party for the teen church group today at our neighbor's house. He was telling me earlier the girls who recently moved up to his Sunday School class make him crazy, that they like to pick at him because he is the ONLY boy in the class now. POOR BOY.

Does he REALLY think his momma doesn't know he's LOVIN' all that attention? Mother wasn't born yesterday Son- shine.

Yesterday my mother came to visit and brought the kids gifts. So in addition to Camden, who must TALK the whole time he plays games on his electronic toys, she brought them remote controlled cars. 2 of them to be exact. Noisy things, that you have to yell to be heard over.

THANKS A LOT MOM. ~~I'm thinking this is another pay back from my childhood?~~

So imagine this--- Chloe is yelling the "floor is covered", Chase is hounding me to do wash, Chance and Camden are running remote cars all over the place, Kat is fussing that we don't have the certain kind of noodles SHE wants, and mother, well, mother is slowly (or fast) going nuts.

Bonkers. Not used to all this noise during the day. But it's a good bonkers, because I love these crazy kids of mine. They might drive me nuts, but I'll be right there with them:)

And just so you all know, I'm sporting blue glittered nails. I even have tiny pink hearts on my little fingers. Via Chloe, who wanted me to SPARKLE for a change. Did I mention how much I love that girl? How much fun she is? Well, if not then you all need to know that.

'Cause she is FUN. I mean, who else is gonna make me laugh telling me the "floor is covered?" I'm just sorry we can't possibly clone any of these clowns, oops, I mean children and bless all of you with their fun. Share the craziness is my motto.

Maybe I should rent them out? Sooooo who wants them tomorrow?- Ha ha. Just joking ( No calls MOM)

And it came

2011-12-25T20:04:00.002-05:00

Christmas Day. It sure did. Early- 6 a.m., although Camden was up at 3 waiting:)

The kids were thrilled with all. They are having a blast. Chloe said Santa was "very electronic" this year. And he WAS.

To their delight.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Although the last one of Chase is quite funny, he is asking dad what the purple rabbit's foot (from Kat to him) is for? It's a key chain:)

We enjoyed church, where we had a birthday party for Jesus.

Blessed, so very blessed. Our God is a wonderful Father. We are so thankful for this year, this home and our family.

Merry Christmas to you all!!

Christmas cookies

2011-12-23T21:35:00.002-05:00

It's not too often I get to sit on the sidelines of a not-so-favorite chore of Christmas, the cookie baking mess. But--- Malaree is home on college break and her and Chloe decided to break out the cookie dough.

They got busy baking away, all kinds, shapes and flavors. Yummy smells coming from the kitchen. Some good sister bonding, as Kat is "helping" more like asking 5 million questions and saying she will be more than happy to be the official taster of the cookies:)

Chloe, as well as all the other kiddos, love having Mal here, they really look up to her and she is such a super big sister. Always patient with their questions and teaching them new things.

Chance has been very funny this week, his poor ESL teacher has been drilled all week. "Is there really a Santa Claus?" He wants to know. He knows that parents have to pay Santa to bring gifts (our way to keep their requests reasonable) and he thought he had her when she said she didn't have to do that.

But I furthered his uncertainty when I told him she didn't because she only has one child. (He also told her not to be a "bad girl" and to tell him the truth.) Is he funny or what?

But we told him only parents of many have to "help" Santa financially. I *could* say I don't want them to believe in Santa at all. Sure, I could. But honestly, to give them something that is a childhood dream, the expectations of the magic Christmas is, a gift.

We feel along with many ways we respect and honor the Reason for the Season, Jesus, it's something we are able to gift to the teens. The wonder. The anticipation. And that's not something they have had an abundance of in the past. So for now, we are keeping them "in the dark" and letting them be kids a little longer.

I even invited Chance to check out the attic to see if anything was there, since he thought some loot was hidden there. Nope, nothing. He asked Santa for boots and a Holist*r jacket. Nothing too big.

The kids had half a day today and are now officially on vacation. I think I got enough grub to get them through the holiday. Seriously I bought 14 boxes of cereal! Among other things.

We're watching The Grinch now, and have watched Elf about 20 times now. I *think* we're really ready for the big day. Camden has asked what time they are allowed to get up, and it's been made official--6 am.

For now we are smelling the yummy cookies, as Chloe keeps a close eye on them from her "spot" in front of the oven.

And we are thankful to see everyone who answered God's call to help bring another little girl home, Matt and Mandi bringing home Kalia, thanks to those who love God, love His orphans and made ALL the difference. What a joy Christmas will hold now forever for that little girl:)

HELP

2011-12-19T18:39:00.000-05:00

Help is needed.

We are all wanting to make a difference in this world. We all look for ways to honor our Lord for His upcoming birthday.

We know of a GREAT way ---

Help a child of God, one of His orphans, become an orphan no longer.

Matt and Mandi need a miracle, one God can do. Through His followers. His people who love and care. As He calls us to do.

We have seen this miracle before. It's completely possible.

I urge you to hop on over to meet Kalia, a girl with a family who needs our help. The Journey Continues

We gotta get this girl home. Please, please, help another treasure find her way to her new family.

Every $1 will add up, you all know this, it happened to get the boys home, $1, $5, $20 every dollar mattered to add up to what was needed.

Let's watch the mountain crumble, a Christmas miracle happen. Oh the FUN!!

And if you want, I am SURE you could place an order for a dress that Mandi could work on once she is home WITH Kalia.

She made this custom, adorable dress for Miss Kitty:) Yep, we have donated what our family can, we wanted IN ON the miracle of Kalia.

We want to see Kalia meet her family on Christmas Day. Don't YOU??

Let's get 'er done. Let's make the Lord smile in JOY- let's bring that total to DONE.

6 days till Christmas

2011-12-18T21:13:00.000-05:00

The kids are really excited:) Only 6 days till the best birthday of all, Happy Birthday to Jesus.

I love what our church does since our Christmas program was today, they do a birthday party for Jesus next Sunday, we wrap "gifts" in the form of needed items for the church, tissues, paper towels, hot cocoa, coffee, supplies for the kids classrooms, etc.

Then the kids all go up front and "open" the gifts for Jesus. Another way to celebrate the reason for this season:)

We had a guest this weekend, a little guy who was sure to make us laugh. Mr. Stink, as we call him, our honorary "grandson" spent the night last night. He slept on the floor in Chloe's room, don't ask us why she has a brand new bed but chooses to sleep on the floor?? But Stink likes to sleep on the floor with her so he went right in and went to sleep.

She was off having fun, so he was a surprise for her when she got home. The teens had a big day yesterday, they all went caroling, cookie baking, shopping, visiting the elderly yesterday with their youth group. They left at 9 am and returned after 9 pm! They had a blast.

I guess they used up their "good mood" stash, because all but Chloe were GRUMPY this morning. Chase refused to smile in my requested ~~required~~ picture of them, although Camden smiled enough for the both of them:) Guess it all works out in the wash, huh?

Chloe had a blast with Stink, he is a funny little guy. When I let out the doggies this morning and then they came back in I told them to "Sit" to get their doggie treat.

And Stink SAT. Right in between the 2 dogs:) We laughed but he got mad when I refused to give him a doggie treat.

Then I went to get Kat ready for church and Stink wanted a hair accessory like hers. Chloe said he would make an adorable girl, but I told her she couldn't do that to the poor lil' guy.

Kat did great in the play this morning. Just great. She was nervous, but did fine.

Camden on the other hand, has gotten sick over the course of today. He is feverish, complaining of nausea and worried he will not be better by Christmas. He is sleeping right now, which is good, since when awake he tends to moan non stop ~~he is male after all~~ which does absolutely nothing to make him feel better but he seems to think it might?

I do hope he feels better soon, it's no fun having sickness make it's way through this house.

Still keeping you all in my prayers, those of you who asked for prayers. Hoping each situation has gotten better, and if anyone else needs prayers I'm still available to spend time with the Lord for you. Just let me know, okay:)

Not just me

2011-12-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

I was in the store the other day, saw a woman I have known for years. A wonderful Christian woman. Wonderful. And she said to me, as many people do "Hi, how are you?"

And the "pat" answer that I have been taught to give "Fine, and how are you?" refused to come out of my mouth. I said "I'm not great, I'm struggling." And I saw the understanding in her eyes. And I knew I was MEANT to share with her, I'm having a hard time right now.

My issue is pretty much one thing, although other "things" add to it. It's the Season. I care so much about my God, about honoring Him, that this season hurts. How commercialized it has become, how lost we have become from the purpose of even celebrating this holiday.

This is for Jesus. His Birth. The miracle that was and IS. That God sent this Son to live here among us, to feel what we feel, live as we lived, to teach, to perform miracles that strength us to this day, then to go on and be hung on a cross for OUR sins, DYING for US. I get chills just writing this! So incredibly special. God knows how much we love our children, how much we see them as a gift, as He felt this way about HIS SON.

Oh, How much our Father LOVES us. YOU. Lil' ol' ME.

He sees my hurt for this season gone off course (in my opinion) where we feel we have to buy more, bigger, better, and we get LOST in the hype. I've really struggled with this for years, and just never put it in words.

It comes to me once I have everything done, all gifts bought, most wrapped, our Christmas ham in the freezer. I have concerns- will the kids enjoy their gifts? Did we get enough? Did we get too much? Do we have enough decorations? Who will come for dinner?

This is when it hits me. The sadness. The wrongness of hearing "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". Knowing we are supposed to be rejoicing in the birth of our Savior, yet people are hurting. It's hard to be M-E-R-R-Y.

But then I realize even though I am hurting, others are too. I shared with the friend I ran into, that the season wasn't being treated for what it should be, an HONOR of our God. And she agreed and told me she struggles with this too. We left each other with a hug, and a renewed sense of what the season means to us, as Christian women.

That we can find in each other, the meaning. It's not money, gifts, glitter and fanfare. It's not about kids who may not be happy with what they got. It's not worrying about the finances of Christmas.

It's about the miracle that happened so many years ago, when God sent us His SON, the birth of this precious babe, in a stable, no frills, no decorations, no wrapping paper. BUT the greatest gift He could give US.

We need to get back to that miracle gift. To remember the season is about JESUS, His birth. And as such, that God loves us as His children. Each of us. We are soooo special to Him. He knows how many hairs are on each of our heads. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, He forgives us, He knows our hearts.

I'm so glad for the sharing of your needs with me. It's made me feel like I can do something important, something that is meaningful in this season gone wrong- something that gets ME back to where we should be.

Praying for others. Caring. Knowing God is with us, walking beside us and even carrying us when needed. His Arms are around us. His love for us is unending. His miracles do continue, we have seen it in our own family with the miracle of the boys coming home to us- reuniting with their sister. It was ALL His doing.

My spirit is renewed for this year, I will be focused on the true meaning of Christmas.

I will be praying for all of you who left comments, and hoping more will share because I am praying and God hears each of our prayers. EVERY SINGLE PRAYER. He knows the needs.

He can and WILL be there for each one of us. Doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, how big or little your issue is, what you have done in the past, what you are doing wrong today.

It can be something tough, or even a JOY that He has done for us. God LOVES prayers of thanks, of joy. He's there for it ALL.

I'm humbled today to be one of HIS children.

Monday morning

2011-12-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

Where did the weekend go? Whoosh. Gone.

Friday was a hard day, so I was glad the weekend was uneventful. It's those older kids this time. Worrying this momma's heart, which doesn't know quite how to stop worrying about them even once they are "legally grown."
They seem so- well, immature still. ~~Will they ever grow up?~~ Guess it's a mother thing. I won't name any names, but it's a grown girl and a boy, not Derrik or Brandon. Figure that out:) Our "girl" is not happy at her college, and is considering a change. Change is scary, an unknown, not fun for anyone. But we are praying and supporting her to find the place that she is happy, enjoying her college years. It's hard to see her struggle with this and I am glad she is off from school for a long break as of today:)

The son. WOW. I can't begin to tell you the fear this "boy" has given me over a number of years. Wondering if he will make it through some of the things he has pulled. Children are such a blessing but they also come with very different personalities and free will. (~~I really don't like that free will thing now that I'm the MOM)~~

This son was a gentle little boy, with doe eyes and a sensitive heart. It's a heartache to see him struggle so. As I totally believe 100% in the power of prayer, that God can and will get these 2 on their feet and on the right paths for each of them, please send a prayer up for them, will ya?

Miss Kitty went off to school this morning, as grouchy as could be. I never know what I'm going to get out of her, some mornings it's kisses and love, but more often it's dirty looks and tears. Girlfriend is SOOO not a morning person. I've tried earlier bed times, waking her up earlier, later, nothing seems to make a difference.

She must think I like the surprise each day of not knowing what I'm going to get out of her? She'd be wrong about that. (Mom do not say she is just like me and I deserve this)

Chance spent a better part of Sunday pouting, he was mad that he got in trouble for crawling under a pew in church and then had to sit next to dad. He is also not happy that he has lost microwaving rights, he was warned about messes left by him in the microwave and must have thought I was joking? Nope. Not at all. Hope he enjoyed those spilled over noodles and hot cocoa while he got them, 'cause he's banned now for a week.

It's not like he is the only one who got in trouble this weekend, Miss Kitty tried calling Camden and Chloe, who were spending time frying their brains on DS games- actually playing together quite nicely, "idiots." Not sure where she got that word, (no mom I do not call anyone an idiot, not even hubby) but it's certain to get Kat sent to her room. And she knows it but does it anyway?

Even the doggie is a goofball here, Teddy took the pad out of the kennel, drug it over to the patio door, put it on TOP of Tommy, who still has stitches in his neck, and laid down. Not sure why the kennel didn't suit him, maybe wanted to sun himself?

Today Mal and I are off to help make peanut clusters, one of the last fundraisers for Chloe's Costa Rica trip. Chloe will join us after school to help. Since I firmly believe chocolate can fix pretty much any ailment, problem, issue, I will TRY hard to not eat the profits, but it's gonna be tough. Ha ha.

I feel the need to ask, do any of you need prayer? Is there something you are struggling with? I feel as though God is telling me someone out there needs some prayers. Can I spent some of my time, helping you in prayer for your issue? Whatever it may be? If so leave me a comment, nothing is too small or too big for our God so don't be shy.

I would love to spend some time with God for you:)

Ouch?

2011-12-07T20:37:00.001-05:00

It's been an interesting week so far. Sadly my interesting is in the form of "not good". First the doggie, that fluffy white one? Well dummy, aka Tommy, decided to go after the neighbor's St. Bernard, who is 13 years old and was not amused by said 7 lb fluff ball barking like mad in her face.

And she bit him. He's lucky to be alive, since she could've picked him up and shook him, thus ending his barking in her face quite efficiently. I'm very thankful she did not, although the emergency trip to the vet, 6 stitches in his neck and a hefty bill later made me wonder more so why she did not just end him there. (No, mom I'm not sick, I love my doggies, I don't love their stupidity)

So now we have injured doggy who we hope has learned his lesson but I wouldn't put any $$ on it. If I had any $$ left after that vet bill-- ha ha.

On to the 2 legged ones of the house, Kat stayed home from school today. She did her usual when she doesn't feel good, can't sleep, is scared, anything at night. She comes in our room, stands over dad and stares at him till he wakes up with her little face right in his. Scary as all get out.

Don't think we have not tried to tell her she is itching to get screamed at, even accidentally hit by scaring us out of sleep this way. But nothing changes. She does the same thing every time. It's funny when you are awake, but not so much when it's YOU she wakes up this way.

She threw up twice last night, and slept most of the day. I decided she was feeling better when she told Camden "TNMP" and I was looking quite puzzled thinking- time now mom prays, too nuts mom posts, but dad cleared it up for me. THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. TNMP.

Okay then, when you come up with that and throw it out there at your brother, you clearly are on the mend. At least that's this mom's take on it.

Chloe came to me last night and asked if she could stay home with her BFF Hannah since she was sick. I told her "no, even though you were the one who hacked all over her and got her sick." Chance and her got out the thermometer, which BTW, they refuse to use under their tongues?

They want it in their arm pit, of which I take offense to them doing as the rest of the kids use it under their tongue. Get my drift? Gross. But they thought they were going to have fevers? Nope, not at all, so off to school they went.

In other news, wrapping of the loot is almost done. Christmas cards addressed, at least most of them. Lost my address book in the move, not good. Sad that I only need it once a year, but there you have it. I have Winter Trail Mix to make, but otherwise feel somewhat positive we are well covered for the upcoming holiday.

Chase had a blast at the semi formal dance. I constrained myself ~~barely~~ from saying "I TOLD YOU SO" and informed him they have prom later in the school year. He was asking if they "did this again next year?"

I did have to instruct him to walk the girl to her door, he tried to tell me "she not my girlfriend" and I said I wasn't telling him to kiss her, but he WOULD walk her to the door. OIY.

It's been raining and I hear some snow is expected. We are keeping warm and so thankful we are in our house. It's very much a blessing to us all.

A first

2011-12-03T18:35:00.001-05:00

Life indeed does have to go on. From our losses we gain- realizing we have to enjoy each and every day. That no one is guaranteed tomorrow. We are grieving but also glad for the life lessons we learn.

Last week I got an e-mail from the ESL teacher. A girl wanted to ask Chase to the semi formal dance as a friend. Not girlfriend/boyfriend.

I thought this was a wonderful thing for him. He wasn't so sure. First he did not want to go because he thought it meant they were girlfriend/boyfriend.

So once we explained he could go with someone as a "friend only" he still was unsure. Knowing my son like I do, I knew it was the "unknown" factor keeping him from what is sure to be an enjoyable evening with his friends.

So I told him he had 10 seconds to tell me a GOOD reason he didn't want to go and "I don't know" didn't count. When he came up with nothing (besides I don't know) I told him he was going. And it was obvious he was glad to go because he went and got his dress clothes and tried them on right away.

So this evening, off they went. His first high school dance:) He looked so sharp and she looked just lovely. So pretty:) Her mom drove, we are picking them up. And I hope he has a blast. One more step forward for our son.

Other news of the week. Got a tick off Kat's head, YUCK. Another joy of living in the country. It wasn't there long. But it freaked her out.

Chloe got a haircut. Oh does she look cute. We call it the "Dora" look, it's so much better than the ponytail and side bangs hanging in her eyes every day. I got her some neat barrettes, for the top and she just looks adorable. She had this cut once before and it really suits her.

Camden and Chloe are both still coughing from being sick. Camden sounds worse than Chloe. I hope they get over this soon, it's been over a week and both have done a round of antibiotics.

I took the kid's picture for our Christmas card. It was tough, Chance couldn't find his tie, so we ended up with the boys tie- less but they look good anyway. (not sweating the small stuff) I decided the hat for Kat would cover her bangs, still not grown out from the mystery shortening, and it worked well.

It's our first weekend in some time with no visitors. Seems odd. It's been fun to share our home with many. But we are spending the weekend quietly together, no big plans. Just enjoying our home, our kids, and counting our blessings:)

Losses

2011-11-29T09:56:00.001-05:00

I'm sad today. Very sad. Our family has seen 2 people we love, Uncle Mike (Ron's uncle) and my cousin Andrea lose their battles with a monster who plagues our families. It's called CANCER.

I hate it. Really hate it. It's a disease that has claimed too many in my life. First my father. Very young. 37 years young. Then my mom had it. She survived. My grandmother (mom's mother) died of it. An uncle died young of it. My brother has had it, Ron's family is riddled with it as well.

It's terrible. I honestly thought since my parents had it so young and the odds used to be 1 in 5 (now it's 1 in 3) and there were 5 of us kids one of us would be the one to get it young. It's a dark cloud on every birthday.

A worry. Although I am aware that heart disease kills more people than cancer and other things put together, for me cancer is my monster.

The first call came on Sunday. Uncle Mike had lost his battle. He was 86 and he chose to deny treatment. We knew he had decided this and was ready to go. Not easy but also a part of life, we all die eventually. We loved him, he was a wise cracker, wonderful man. A long full life he lived.

The second call- my cousin. Ohh. How hard. I had gotten a call on turkey day, telling me she was asking for me to come. And I went. Of course. My cohort in crime as kids, my friend, my cuz. Closest in age to me of her family of 3 sisters, our moms were close so often we were banded together to "entertain" each other.

Andrea was my buddy. I loved seeing her- always. We actually ended up with children who matched up perfectly, Camden and Kyle just days apart in age got along famously, as well as Kat and Jamie, who were only weeks apart in age. So our adult visits, although tamer in terms of us "mothers" were the fun revisited as kids by our children having a blast together.

So just when we were starting to behave ourselves and act like our mothers, I got word this friend of my heart and bloodline was battling the monster cancer- I was shocked. It wasn't good right from the start. But for 5 years she fought the fight, she wanted to live.

I am sooo thankful I went and saw her. It was hard. Not gonna lie. BUT when I walked in her room and she was laying down and I kissed her cheek and said "hi- isn't this a face to scare you when you open your eyes." She LIT up. Said "put me up." And she refused to succumb to the morphine fog any more than she had to, to visit with me.

She asked about the kids. I told her it was something rare to see me without them and did she want me to turn around to check if any were hanging on my back or to see if one was up my butt?? And she smiled. (She's used to my outrageous comments and expected them)

She followed this blog and my children, our growing family with love and acceptance for each addition we've gained.

I asked her if she was in pain. No. I asked her if there was anything she wanted to do before she went, anything she didn't get to do? (I knew she was 100% sure where she was going) And she said to me---

A-D-O-P-T.

And I assured her- we were adopting Phoebe in her honor. We had her covered. She asked Phoebe's Chinese name. And I told her.

I helped her sign cards for her kids. For their weddings, their 18th birthdays, her sister's upcoming 40th birthday, her parents 50th wedding anniversary. All future events she will be "in on" from Heaven.

We weren't saying "give up the fight" -- no way-- we were just giving her peace in knowing if she had to go things were covered. Doing things that I would want done if I were in her shoes.

Her family celebrated Christmas Sat morning, because she wanted to make it to Christmas. And who says Christmas has to be December 25? I'm sure Jesus didn't mind that ONE BIT. So they gave her Christmas with her kids. And she was happy. She knew how loved she was.

And on Monday morning her fight ended. She became an angel. And the struggle continues in our hearts- how to accept she is gone.

How to comfort each other when there are no words to heal this. None. Finding acceptance that we have to go on without her and will see her again when our time comes. Seeing her sisters without HER.

My friend- my cuz Andrea, our uncle- funny man Uncle Mike, our losses are huge today. Our love for both these very special people will go on and on.

As well, we ask in honor of Andrea, a wonderful friend and my cousin, if you are thinking of adopting, thinking you will do it when you have- more time, more money, more space, more of whatever- DO NOT WAIT. Do it NOW.

JUST DO IT, in honor of an angel momma named Andrea, who wanted to but ran out of time:(

Surprise, another one

2011-11-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

We have an "extra" kiddo for the week. Adopted from China as a teen. Her mom is aware and okay with me asking her to go through a day of her life at her orphanage. She did tell me where she is from had about the same amount of kids as my teens, about 150 kiddos.

"A" is an amazing mix of our 3, I see some of the same behaviors, not bad, just interesting and some funny. She is having a blast with our kids, enjoying being in the country and doing a bunch of fun stuff with our crew.

So here goes her take on things---

I sleep in a room with 4 people. I had a closet. It had my clothes in it, just mine. I sleep in shorts and shirt for pajamas.

House momma woke me up, I gotta make my bed, brush my teeth. I eat breakfast- noodles, soup, egg. Then I walked to school with other girls from the orphanage, 9 of us, boys too.

I got in trouble if I talk when teacher talking and I have to stand by the wall. The other kids made fun of me (for being an orphan) but I talk back to them.

I go back to orphanage for lunch, rice, soup, potato, tomato, meat, cabbage. Back to school at 1 o' clock, we walked again.

Teachers were sometimes nice, sometimes no. I like Chinese class, and science, but didn't like math. I not good at math.

Went back to orphanage at 4:30 to do homework, so much homework. Sometimes go to store, house momma took me. Always went back to orphanage after school, didn't go to store alone, always with house momma.

Supper time noodles or soup at the orphanage. I watched some TV, I help with the little children, take shower, put their clothes on, brush their teeth, pat the babies, sometimes they poop I have to clean, it gross. Babies always poop.

I go outside and wash every one's clothes, I was oldest one so I had to wash all the clothes.

Things I asked her--

Favorite personal thing(s) at the orphanage-
Clothes and shoes

Best day at orphanage-
Saturdays, no school

Worst day ever at orphanage-
Mondays, school

Favorite person at orphanage-
My friend

Least liked person at orphanage-
Another girl

Did you know you had to be adopted before you are 14?
No

Best thing about here-
School, I have a family, new friends

Hardest thing about here-
Learning English

What you miss the most about China-
Friends and spicy Chinese food

Another one of God's perfectly made teen treasures. Loved. Without a doubt.

I can't tell you the road is without bumps, adopting older. Not gonna lie. It can be heartbreaking. Tough. But the rewards, they can not compare.

Not just for the children adopted, but for you. I have gained so much as a person coming to learn about my children and their pasts, their personalities, their dreams.

Aren't these kids just amazing and wonderful? They were so cool sharing with me.

Love, love, love 'em.

Chloe's turn

2011-11-26T20:00:00.000-05:00

The next treasure, the one who brought us 3 times the family we expected. Chloe.

I sleep in a room with 4 beds, there were 5 girls at different times in there with me.
Sometimes I by myself and it's scary, you know.

We have a locker for everyone to put their clothes in, we all have our own one. We have a key for our locker. I have clothes and junk food in my locker. No one take my stuff.

In morning would get self up. No one wake us up and I make my bed, no one tell me to. I would get money each month for us to get breakfast and for our life (mom here, allowance?) but would spend it on junk food so I would go to kids' room and they let us eat breakfast there. I would eat congee with egg.

I have little card orphanage people give me to ride on bus free to get to school, but bus driver would yell at us that we should pay money. Sometimes we walked or ride bike to school. I would go with my friend who went to the same school as me.

Sometimes the kids at school made fun of me, for not having a family. In a class and a boy made me mad and I grabbed his ear and twirled him around and he never messed with me again. (Mom here, WOW, this is my daughter! Way to go Chloe! I knew this girl had spunk)

Went to back to orphanage for lunch. Would eat cucumbers, always rice, sometimes potato with chicken. Cabbage, tomato with egg, soup, pig meat.

Back to school at 1 o'clock. Went outside for gym class. Had a special outfit had to wear on Monday for the pledge of allegiance.

School over for the day at 4 o' clock. Went to store to buy junk food or video game store if have money. Sometimes didn't go back to orphanage after school until night, no one check on me, no one care. We had noodles for supper at the orphanage, sometimes we just have bread. Nothing else.

I had to be back at 9 o' clock or they lock door or climb the fence to get in, but they put a thing on it, when they find out we do that, so we couldn't get in the fence anymore.

Things that I asked her-

Favorite possession at orphanage-
roller blades we sent her, a hand me down dress, and a shirt we sent her that said "Princess" on it.

Favorite day at orphanage-
Chinese New Year, got money, food, clothes

Worst day at orphanage -
Clean up day when people come to look at orphanage and we had to clean up just for them to look and the day coming to me because they kept telling me you weren't coming and didn't want me because you were late. (Mom here, we were NOT late, we got there when we were told to be there, how DARE they tell her this! GRRR)

Favorite person-
Betty, an older girl who aged out:(

Least favorite person-
Another child that was mean to all the kids (same as Chance's answer)

Best Day ever-
American person came and took her to KFC and another missionary couple came and spent time with them- these were the first American people (actually from England) she ever met

Did you know you had to be adopted before you turned 14-
No

Were you asked if you wanted to be adopted-
A woman (caregiver) would take me home with her sometimes and she ask me if I want to be her daughter but I say no. I don't want to call Chinese woman "mother." (Mom here- phewww, good thing I'm a fluffy red head and she liked the looks of me? 'Cause I get called MOTHER. Thank you Jesus, I get to be her mother.)

Do you remember the day you went to the orphanage-
Only that they made us take a shower

When I adopted you and learned of your brothers and said we would come back for them, did you believe me?
Not really

When did you believe we were going back for your brothers?
When we got them!

What do you miss the most from China-
the FOOD

What is the best thing here-
Family

What is the worst/hardest thing being adopted-
Gotta listen

What is the best thing about being adopted-
Nobody make fun of me

Anything else you want to say-
I want to go back to China to eat junk food and it's my shower time

Well then. Another perfectly made by God treasure for sure. I'm still in awe of how brave she was to come with me. Blown away.

3 kiddos. 3 very different, but also some similar answers.

All of their answers show me that these children needed to have a family. NEEDED to be wanted. Needed to be adopted to a family that wanted them, love them, cherish them, feed them, give them God.

Give them a future. Take a chance on them. Blessings, each and every one.

Older children. So many lost. So many age out and lose their last hope of ever being wanted. Of not being "made fun of" ever again:(

I'm soooo thankful these 3 are our sons and daughter. We are proud they carry our name. Proud to call them ours. Orphans no more.

Chase is next

2011-11-25T11:30:00.000-05:00

I was able to catch up with Chase last evening- I'm talking with the kids one to one so they are not embarrassed, trying to talk over each other or saying "nuh, uhh," when each other talks. (Very common here with the 3 of them)

So here goes Chase's take on the same thing, life in the same orphanage--

I slept in room with 7 beds. (not with Chance) I had cabinet to put shoes, clothes, pants and snack kind of stuff in there. I slept in my clothes, have no sleep clothes (pajamas)

Sometimes my stuff got stolen and I yelled at they- sometimes got things back.

Orphanage people gave me money and got breakfast on the street, usually noodles. Took a bus to school by myself. (None of the 3 teens got to go to school together, no school would take all 3:(

I got in trouble in school for fighting, they talk not good to me and I get mad and fight with they. I did a little homework, not much. Bad kids at school say me not have family, me at orphanage and I fight with they.

I ride back to orphanage for lunch. Have chicken, rice, potato, cabbage, carrots. Sometimes I got to cook after school if I did not like the supper. I would cook egg and rice. I wash my own dishes, big kids wash their own dishes, little kids have people take care of they.

Whatever time want to go shower, you go shower. We had soap, no shampoo. We wash our own clothes, I no want to use big washer that had baby poo poo in it, so I wash my own clothes.

Sometimes I go outside and play, or play video games at store, wash dishes or clean floors to earn money to use the computer at store. Had to be back at orphanage at 9 o' clock or they lock the big door, then they have to call director and I get in trouble- they yell at me.

My questions-

Favorite possession-
A toy car Chloe bought for him (when I got her) and left at the orphanage for him

Favorite person at the orphanage-
One auntie (caregiver)

Least favorite person at orphanage-
A mean auntie

Who told him Chloe was being adopted and how did he feel-
An auntie, and he was mad

Did he think we didn't want to adopt him, just Chloe-
Yes (mom here--he didn't know we weren't told about him- I can't imagine how much that must have hurt:(

Who did he tell he was being adopted-
His best friend at his school (not an orphan) and they were mad at him for going to America but he said he was going to be with his sister

Did you ever help with little kids at the orphanage-
Helped feed they, help get they dressed, played with they, help they put shoes on.

If they sick they go to nurse and she try to take care of they but sometimes they die, if they have heart problem or other problem-- they too sick to live -this was babies, not bigger kids

Best day ever-
Going to you- (I had to hold back tears here--- ahhhh:)

Worse day ever-
When he hurt his leg, couldn't walk (mom here, he did that in a FIGHT)

Do you remember the day you went to the orphanage-
Yes, they mean to us, all of us, 'cause we new kids, but they feed us, make us shower

Did you know when you would have to leave the orphanage-
Yeah, 18 and was a little bit scared about that

What do you miss about China-
Orphanage auntie (caregiver) and best friend from school

Best thing about here-
Going to Hershey Park

Worse thing about being adopted-
Have to ask to do things

Best thing about being adopted-
Getting parents

Okay, mom here, another treasure for sure. Sitting and waiting. Wanting to be wanted, needing to be some one's son. He's not as easy going as Chance, but he is no less special.

I feel his pain, of no one wanting to adopt the 3 of them, not caring if they were together. He took care of his siblings, he NEEDED to be with them. To know they were okay.

He has struggled. No doubt about it. I don't sugarcoat. BUT, we have no doubt that this older child was brought to us by God, he was meant to be our son. He misses things, but he knows for the long run he is better off here.

He is loved. He is wanted. He is learning about God, he knows of Him. He is God's perfectly made treasure, just like all our children are. He knows we do not care where he came from, he is our SON. We've seen him make great strides in the short time he has been home.

He is with his siblings. For him this is his security. He knows each day they are all waking up in the same house, same parents, being fed, being loved. There is no shame in going to school or anywhere, they have our name.

I'm so thankful for this son as well. Meant to be.

Stay tuned Chloe is next:)

A day in his life

2011-11-23T18:01:00.001-05:00

I know some people who were interested in what day to day life was like for our kids in the orphanage. So I thought it would be neat to ASK them. Let them tell me what they experienced.

So I'm starting with Chance since he is the most "open." I'm gonna type for him and ask him to go through a typical day.....

I slept in a room with 4 other boys, each had they own bed. We had cabinet to keep our stuff, but people steal it. (other kids)

Usually got up ourself. Was already dressed, slept in clothes so I would have clothes. Sometimes I would shower. But no one say to shower unless they stink. They not care about big kids, big kids take care of themselves.

Went to breakfast, got rice every day, sometimes with egg in it. Then walked to school, no one like him in school (teacher) he went to 2 schools- (he confirmed he was kicked out of the first school for fighting and not doing his homework)-- he said homework too hard and no one would help him because they all know he not smart. (Momma bear here, they sure were wrong, he's very smart)

Some people made fun of me in school, saying "you don't have mother." I walked back to orphanage for lunch, would have chicken, it was very good, sometimes have bread, meat, but every day have rice. But sometimes the water pump was broke and we didn't have water so we eat bread with hot stuff.

Went back to school in afternoon, we go outside to play in afternoon at school. Played ping pong. When I hit people I not allowed to go out. If not know things teacher yelled at me, always yelled at me not care about me, not nice.

Went back to orphanage in evening had supper, bread, soup, meat, egg with cabbage. Then went out to play, shut eye, find someone. (Hide and seek)
We burn down tree, no one see us, so we not get in trouble. We clean room when someone come (visitors to orphanage) so we get a toy or snack. We not clean other times, no one care or tell us to.

I was not allowed to be out past 7 o' clock, that's off the orphanage grounds. The director would ask where we went but we would lie to him. I went swimming in a pond, went into cave, and I made it out.

I was told Chloe was being adopted and going to a house. Someone Chinese ask me to be adopted by them, before Chloe adopted. But I no like them so I said no. They tell me I can have girlfriend, but I not want be adopted by them.

Then they come tell me I go to same home as Chloe, and I wanted to.

Things I asked him--

Did he know he had to be adopted before he was 14--
Yes, he didn't worry about that, he worried about having food to eat

Your favorite thing in the orphanage--
A hand me down shirt

Best thing that ever happened at the orphanage--
Chinese New Year, we got money

Worst thing-
Had to practice multiplication

Favorite person-
Teacher, not like teacher here, means auntie (caregiver)

Least favorite-
An older boy who was mean to all (hitting and fighting with everyone)

Best Day ever-
Leaving to come to us, was taken shopping to get new clothes

Well, there you go. The world of orphanage living in Chance's eyes. All this momma can say is I am soooo thankful he is no longer living that life. He is wanted, cared about, cherished, and best of all, he has God. He knows Him.

He is one of God's perfectly made treasures. And he sat there and waited, and waited for a family. So many children wait and wait, people scared to take a risk, to trust in God to bring home an older son. Yet, our life would not be what it is, without this son. He's always smiling. He looks forward. He's a gift.

One we are thankful for:)

Huh?

2011-11-22T20:00:00.000-05:00

Not sure what happened to my last post. Gone. Went missing. Could've been something I did, and didn't know it. Who knows? Not me.

So I can't go back and remember all I wrote so we move on. Chase was having an issue but now is doing well. He is making plans to go to the semi formal dance with a friend. YEAH! At first when I asked him about going he said "No."

Pretty much his typical reaction to everything. No. But I asked him to tell me within 10 seconds a GOOD reason to not go. And his "I don't know" didn't cut it.

So he is going. Funny enough, once it was settled he went to get his clothes out to pick what to wear right away, no hassle, which told me he really does want to go. I swear ~~no mom, I really don't swear~~ he doesn't know how to say "yes" to anything "unknown." And this is an unknown.

Today I spent time in the doctor's office again, I took Camden yesterday for his ears, double ear and sinus infection, after having a cold for over a week and not seeming able to kick it.

But while there, they wanted to look at Kat, who woke up with a fever and I had taken her along. She did look pretty miserable as her fever was up again- 102.8. And guess what? She's got strep throat. OIY.

So then today Chloe was complaining of a sore throat, so off to the doctor we went again, but she does NOT have strep. Pheww. And Kat is no longer contagious. So we are hopeful we caught it before the whole house comes down with it?

Chloe tried to confuse the doctor when we went to leave. What a turd she is. She told him "adios" when we left, and he looked totally puzzled. I told him she really is Chinese, just pay no mind to lil'Miss Spanish speaking Chloe.

Camden was upset to miss school yesterday, but good thing he got to go today. He had a limo ride to McD*nald's for being one of the top sellers of the fall fundraiser. He got a free lunch.

He didn't allow any pictures of him eating at all, but Miss Kitty was more than happy to pose with her H*llo K*tty meal toy.

Chloe is very happy to have another girl adopted from China coming our way on Wed. Staying a week, I'm sure they will enjoy their time together. Sometimes for our kiddos just being able to talk to other Chinese speaking kids is a treat. Our 3 still speak Mandarin with each other, but Chloe really longs for a girl to "hang out with."

I've decided to pick the kids brains, on what they remember from day to day life in the orphanage. I know some people are interested in what they have seen and done, things they have been exposed to, things they missed. Their feelings about lots of things from the past.

Is there anything special you all would like to know?

The new guy

2011-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

No, I didn't throw out dad for a younger model. We added in this pretty guy to the household. Dad was NOT thrilled, even when I told him Mr. Teddy looks just like him, so no wonder I adore him. (Blue eyes, grey and white hair, see the resemblance?)

He didn't seem to take that as a compliment. Not sure why?

It might have something to do with the ornery attitude of this new guy. He is a runner. As in, I let him and Tommy out and they take off. In some ways that's okay now that we live in the country, but our immediate neighbor has 6 BIG dogs, that Tommy doesn't know are bigger than him and he gets in their face barking at them.

Every chance he gets. So I spend many days saying "Hi" to my new neighbor, as I go to collect my errant ~~and I bet annoying~~ doggies. Teddy, the new man, just sits there looking at Tommy like "Dude, what are you doing, you are like 7 lbs of fluff, you stupid or what?" As Tommy barks his fool head off at the St Bernard.

Teddy is bright and fun, can't you just see it? And the kids are having a blast with him. I'm thrilled he has house trained quickly and is learning sit, lay down, come. He's a treat oriented doggie, but even the lure of treats don't stop this boy from taking off when let out.

Teddy Bear

I should clarify, he does come back, eventually. Which is fine. Because I usually get mad at him and give up calling the bugger. So whatever works, right? Chloe thinks it's super cool we have a doggie with blue eyes, just like Phoebe:) I'm betting she's not going to see that as a compliment any more than dad does?

As for the 2 legged children--

We won't get into names, but a little girl *might* be not doing so well on the "No complaints for 30 days." Not being nice to momma, would be the head of the list. Refusing to speak when driving her hiney to the bus stop, then refusing to get out of the van when the bus came? OIY.

We had her school conference with Mrs. "Cutting-da- ham" aka Cunningham.
And yet another child o' mine has been written up for talking too much. No other issues, she is very bright, she's sweet, she is just too social. Hummm. We will NOT be blaming this on me. No way. (do not call me mom)

Her teacher did tell me that Kat said I told her to eat PB toast for supper. Uh, huh. What I said (and clarified to the teacher) was to get a SNACK of PB toast when she got home from school because I would be coming home from work, getting her and we had to head out to her teacher conference and would be eating AFTER it, about 2 hrs later than normal. And since I know a certain someone becomes a BEAR if she is hungry I reminded her to eat her SNACK.

Don't ya love how they go tell their teacher things to make you look like the biggest SMUCK parent EVER right before your conference time with them??

It's almost worse than when the social worker came and we were going over what rooms were where and who shares and Chase just HAD to comment when I said him and Donovan share a room that "Donovan gasses, all the time." And when I said "We don't need to talk about that NOW." He continued on like I hadn't spoken a word and said it was so bad he had to get up and open the door to their room in the middle of the night. OIY. Let's just say TMI. Something my children clearly don't get?

Chloe spent last evening making peanut clusters, another fundraiser for her mission trip. That girl has really worked hard trying to raise her fees to go. I'm so proud of her. I'm still worried about missing her terribly, but I know my little chick-a-dee is needing to spread her wings and fly- and it's amazing she is going on a mission trip to Costa Rica. She got quite a bit to go on her total and she stresses about it constantly. I assured her that God wants her to go and He will provide. She can trust Him.

We are sharing our home again this weekend, a friend's 3 kiddos come tonight. They are Chloe, Camden and Kat's ages, a girl, and 2 boys. Then we have 5 more people coming to spent late Sat into Sunday with us for our church hosting an IMPACT group. And then Wed, just as the kids get off on holiday vacation, we get a teen Chinese girl for a week. Did I say how much we appreciate the blessing God has given us in this home? It's wonderful to share it with so many!

Camden came home Monday from school early, sick. Fever, cough, feeling yucky. He seems to be getting better as the week progresses and not spreading it around for once. Although I am sure as I type this one of the others is coughing and thinking they NEED to go to the school nurse so she can call mom to come get them.

I guess I better get hopping to my chores of the day before the call comes, huh?

The next 29 days

2011-11-14T10:30:00.000-05:00

F--fun
A--attitude
M--melting pot
I--interesting
L--loving
Y-yielding

It means FAMILY. Sticking out the bad times. Laughing in the good times.

I'm so glad I have mine, so blessed. We are accepting the challenge of our pastor who gave a sermon about complaining and being thankful. To NOT complain for the next (now) 29 days.

The kids are reminding ~~trying to trip each other up~~ each other because they love each other so much. And we think it's important for a few people here to learn life is so much more than complaining.

We love 'em, stinkers and all. And we are so thankful we have this family.

Our Social Worker visited to see the house last night. We were glad to show her we are ready for Phoebe. We can't wait to get paperwork moving on. It's taking longer than we ever could have expected, not that we are complaining because God's timing is PERFECT.

He has our lives planned. He knows when Phoebe is meant to join us. And we have peace in knowing that. Even when we are wanting to be impatient. We can't help but fall back on God's perfectness. And trust in Him.

So we will see how things go when the treasures come home from school today, if they remembered they were not supposed to be complaining. If they can be thankful for this day, each other, their parents, their home, their supper? O~~kay I'll stop now since I do realize most of them are teens and I'm not totally goofy.~~

I did take advantage of them not supposed to complain to say "I want a picture of you, stand here" and it worked:))) Aren't they just so cute??

I am puzzled about one thing. Miss Kat. (No it's not the mystery of her bangs, I've given up on that answer) but her teeth? She lost her 2 front teeth some time ago, and there's not a sign of the big teeth coming in anywhere.

I don't have a doubt she will be able to sing "All she wants for Christmas is her 2 front teeth." I seem to recall all the others lost teeth and the big ones came in really soon. So I wondered-- why aren't hers?

Should we be worried? Anyone know?

A Noodle Kinda Day

2011-11-11T14:25:00.001-05:00

Woke up this morning to snow flurries. The kids LOVE snow even flurries, 'cause they think it means Christmas comes sooner. Ha Ha on them.

The kiddos were all off school and started their day picking at each other, like a bunch of siblings or something. Ha ha on me.

Just a typical day off. Our lunch consisted of (no surprise here) noodles. The kids LOVE them, with egg, tuna, dry, hot sauce, cooked, you name it, they can't resist their noodles. Thank Goodness for us they are cheap-o. Like 19 cents a pack cheap.

I sat Chase and Chance down and we had a chat. Kinda. ~~Okay it really was just me talking, like a lecture, which I hated it when my mom did that, but I did it anyway.~~ Because Chance decided to get mad at Camden over something stupid and when I told him to knock it off he yelled at ME.

OIY. And Chase had yet to speak to me from the other day when he got mad. As much as it is easier to have him NOT speaking to me, it's not accomplishing anything either. (Mom do NOT call me and remind me how I got mad and refused to speak to you as a teen and tell me it's pay back time- it's sooo not pretty when you gloat)

I told them both they are responsible for their behaviors, and their behaviors need adjusted As in yesterday. Because they got a good family here, they got amazing opportunities here, but they also have work here. Work to blend in. Work to learn the culture, the language and how to be a part of this family. That we CAN'T make them do what they need to do. But we can expect them to modify their behavior to make things work. And it is expected. They understand what we want. It's up to them to man up and do it.

Chase is totally stuck. His issue? Fairness. He struggles wanting everything to be FAIR. Within our family. And I got really honest with them. I told him if he spends his life looking for fairness he is going to be miserable. That even with the same rules I am not going to punish him the same as Kat if they both break the same rule. And he may see that as unfair. It could go on and on.

I *hope* I got through to him. I don't know if I did. He can be very selfish. As all teens are. He wants things to be his way. He said he can tell dad how to do something and dad may consider it or not. But that I see it as him being bossy. He doesn't understand me.

That's when I broke it to him. I'm a FEMALE. I'm not dad. I'm more complex, I get irritated at things dad doesn't. But that none of those things give him the right to be disrespectful to me.

That just as I have learned what he likes to do, wear, eat, etc, he has to learn about me and accept ME for who I am. An imperfect human who is trying her hardest to parent him. Teach him.

He is one tough cookie. Chance came and hugged me, apologized and told me he loved me. Chase went to his room. Let's hope some time to think will help Chase. Pray for him, will ya?

He is such a special person and I know this is so hard. It hurts me to see any of my children struggle, but I can't fix this for him. It's his choice to make.

Such difference in personalities. Chase so serious and stubborn, Chance easy going and willing to work on things. Both equally important to me, I so badly want to see them succeed in this world. And to do that it needs to start at home.

Kat and Camden are thrilled tonight, we have company. 3 kiddos, foster kids of my aunt. Just their ages, except the little guy, who is almost 2. They are having a blast playing.

Chloe is in a great mood, she hugged me three times today! I also got two kisses and an "I love you! First hug was when I got a phone call and when I hung up said "Thank God my van is done. I get my wheels back." She was happy for me. Then when she asked if she was getting to go to the sleepover at the church for 11-11-11.

And I said yes. The third was when she went to leave for the sleepover. A hug, kiss and "I love you." WOW. She has her moments, but she has come a long way in learning to be a daughter.

She gives me such hope for the boys. Really. Made me feel loved. And we all need that, right?

I was glad for those of you who reminded me teens all over are the same, it doesn't matter if they are adopted or not. It is an encouragement since it it reminds me how normal my kids are and that I can just expect them all to act pretty much the same at some point. At least they seem to take turns pushing mother's buttons, huh?

To Kristy, our van issue was some torque thingy, my brain went into a twist when the mechanic started to explain it and I cut him off and said "uh, just tell me it works now and how much, please." And it was a little over $1,000. OUCH. But I did say I thought I loved him to the mechanic, hey I was told he couldn't even get to it this week so today's call saying it was done after 11 days without it, made me downright giddy.

To all our vets today- thank you. Thank you for the freedom you fight for us to have. Thank you for serving this country. THANK YOU. You are deeply appreciated in this house. For sure.

Respect yo' Momma

2011-11-07T18:25:00.001-05:00

Well then. I am once again party to a certain some one's lack of respect. SIGH.

I think it must be how God feels when He tells us something and we totally ignore Him and He has to come back over and over to tell us till we "get it".

I'm not known for my patience. It's a well known fact here. So when a certain boy decides to ignore me when told to go to his room, as I saw him escalating in his behavior, I am not a happy momma.

And I tried to explain it to him because he believes he is right no matter what I say. And he is NOT getting the respect for me very fast here. I'm going to be real honest too, it's annoying the beeezeebers out of me. I don't do well with back talk.

So, of course, there is an abundance of it here. Lord, help me. I mean it, help me.

Dad tried to talk to him, told him I was no different from him ~~we won't remind him I am not totally gray haired yet, or that I am a girl, he is a boy,~~ when it comes to listening to us. Of course. Simple right? But no, he continues to insist that I explain myself to him. And I told him "NO" I would NOT explain it again, he knows what we are telling him.

He is a smart boy. But BOY, not MAN. Not household head, not a parent here. He argues with me to try to get me to treat him as such, not as the child he is. He may not understand what he is doing, but I do.

And I am not buying into it. He needs to be parented. Respected himself, which I do, but I will not put him in a place of equality with me and his dad. This is NOT what this child needs.

At times like this, I wonder if God really meant for me to this child's mother. I even whine a bit, "God REALLY?" I mean, are you SURE you got the right red head, maybe it was a Vivian not Vickie? ~~Viv, if you're out there I have your son, e-mail me fast~~ And I swear to you (no, mom I do not swear, although I wonder sometimes WHY I don't ) I hear God chuckle and say "Yes, My child. This is your son."

OIY. I guess He never promised me easy street with these kiddos, but He did promise to be here for me, and He is. And I love these kids, no doubts about that, it's just not easy when you aren't feeling loads of love headed back at ya.

Adoption is not always easy street. It's not roses and lollipops. It's being hurt. It's being insulted, it's coping with feelings most people would rather not talk about. I knew when we were paper chasing for the boys they would be tough, they would come with greater issues than say, Kat. But I also knew Vivian was not their mother. I was.

And that is what keeps me pluggin' along today, with God's help, of course, hoping and praying my son will learn the respect he needs and will move forward in a positive way. I will not lose hope because this son is God's child and He has a plan for this child. I'm honored God chose me to be a part of it, even when I hurt from son's behavior.

I've got to share some fun stuff now that I got the serious out. Miss Kitty at the bus stop this morning. She informed me she will be raising her children differently than I raise her.

She has some super ideas, she is going to serve her children their meals in their rooms, on trays. They will not need to come to the table at ALL. She informed me she will not be giving birth to any children either, hers are all coming via adoption. And she wants a big family.

She said she will adopt Chinese children, her and Chloe have said the same thing, which cracks me up. Because they say it as if they marry and give birth their child would not be Chinese.

And I have explained to them both they could marry a blond blue eyed dude and I'm pretty sure they are still gonna get a Chinese looking child. Maybe brown hair but still with those gorgeous almond eyes I love.

But no birth children required for our Kat, she'll be too busy adopting and feeding those children in their rooms. Now how could I not feel better when you got such a sweetie as her telling me all I do wrong?

I mean really? Gosh, have I mentioned how much I LOVE THESE KIDS???

I am......

2011-11-04T20:14:00.000-04:00

.......Puzzled. Confused. Annoyed. Chloe came home this week with a paper copied off that she handed to me. I looked at it and had those variety of feelings.

WHY? It was a notice of full scholarship to qualifying students for enrollment for a BOARDING SCHOOL for girls. Granted a school with a good reputation especially with foreign students, but a BOARDING SCHOOL.

I'm gonna say it. I was a bit peeved. As if I would even CONSIDER sending our daughter, the one and same girl who came from an institution away from the first and only family she has ever known to a BOARDING SCHOOL??

I think NOT. Not only would I not think this would be a good idea for her, I am NOT giving up my new daughter for her to go and be subjected to who knows what all week as well as isolating her from us and her siblings.

How did anyone (not naming any names) think this would be a good enough idea to run off a copy of this notice ONLY for my daughter? Not any other girls in her grade?

I'm going to chalk this up to people not understanding how fragile adopted children can be emotionally. They are not just behind in schooling, they are behind socially and emotionally. And they NEED the security of our family before they HAVE to go out in the big bad world all on their own.

We didn't bring these kids home to push them off before their time. Not even for educational purposes, not that it isn't important, but their family security is more important at this point. They have plenty of time left to get their educational needs met.

Off that tangent- now that I spilled about that and feel a ton better.

Pictures of Miss Kitty hiding her odd length bangs. Hat. Hold cute doggie and no one will notice bangs. She's sooo creative:)

Was supposed to have a visit with the social worker for our home study for Phoebe since we moved but no go. She cancelled at the last minute. Another delay, in a sea of delays. It's so hard to wait sometimes, this is taking longer than any others did:(

So my house is clean, and no company expected. Bummer, huh?

The van outcome is not pretty. It is the transmission and the mechanic recommended someone rebuild it but he takes 4 weeks to get it in? Uh, do they think I can haul around these kids on a bike or something for 4 weeks?

Are they nuts? 'Cause I'm not feelin' 4 weeks will work for us. Not sure where we will go from here, find someone else who can do it sooner, figure out alternate wheels for me for 4 weeks and I do not mean bike wheels.

Just to make you all jealous-- my Christmas shopping for the kids- all but DONE. I love on line ordering, just pick it up and wrap. Some was even free shipping so it came right to the door. OIY. Doesn't get any better than that when you are the momma of many with a broken down van too.

We stayed within a reasonable range for them all, nothing short of a miracle there. Now all we have to do is decorate, it's too early for that yet, although someone forgot to tell Chance that. He tells me every day "Merry Christmas" as he goes out the door to school.

I guess he is anxious? Confused? Who knows- not me:)

No wheels

2011-11-01T20:34:00.001-04:00

Oh why does your wheels break down when you need them? What did we all do before cars? My van, the mommy wagon, the vehicle that fits us all, mom's wheels- kicked the bucket last night.

Just as dad had strapped on the ladders and filled it to the brim with the last load of our stuff out of storage. I guess it had had enough. It has made numerous trips, hauled us without complaint.

It started acting funny after we hauled the ceramic tile home in July and it was dragging with the weight of the tiles.

And it hasn't been happy with us since. I am thankful for many things- the many miles it has worked. The many trips with the kids that it didn't strand me in it. That it croaked close to the mechanic we use and he got to it today. That it got me to work and home yesterday.

The mechanic thinks it is the transmission (aka BIG BUCKS) but he has to look at it and let us know. It's never a good time for your car/van to break down. Obviously. I guess we will see what the diagnosis is and go from there:(

I don't have a picture of my broken down van so I posted a picture of my cute kids being so- well, them. Some smiling, some looking off in the distance, some pouting at having to stand still:)

Cute as can be, all of them. Even that Chance, who has taken to saying "shoot" and it sounds like he's saying a bad word. Either that or "sheets". But he promises me when I say "what did you say??" In my sternest mother voice, he is saying "shoot."

Pair that accent with that unending smile and I can't possibly not believe him- right?

Lights anyone?

2011-10-29T21:23:00.000-04:00

Well we got the snow. Yes, we sure did. It looks like a fairy tale world out there, all ready for Christmas. Yet it's still October! Big, wet fluffy snowflakes fell for the better part of the morning. I took this picture out of our livingroom window. Then just as we all got hungry for lunch, out went the lights.

We thought it wouldn't be too long that we sat with no lights, but it was 5 hr later when our friends arrived to have supper with us and we were still powerless. This was to be our first time we had company over in the new house for a meal. But it was not meant to be.

We decided to go to their cabin as they did have power, just a mile away. And wouldn't you know-- we pulled in their driveway and out went their power. I'm sooo not kidding.

I heard Donovan spouting something about us carrying a curse, he knows I don't believe in such things. But at any rate we had warm meatballs, grapes, yummy cookies and managed quite well even without power.

My chicken noodle casserole had to be saved for tomorrow, since it couldn't be baked, but we had plenty to eat and enjoyed a fun time with our friends. They have the cutest 4 littles, 3 of whom are from China. Our older kids adore all little ones, since they spent quite a bit of time with young children at the orphanage. They are very good with the little ones, and the little ones always seem to love the attention they are given by them.

The power finally did come on, at both houses. So when we got home our whole place was lit up like there was a party going on here. But no one was home and we had lots of lights to turn off:)

I included pictures of Kat dressed up for the Fall Festival Party at our church. She got that whole bag full of candy and she was dressed as a Princess, of course.

She really liked "Cowboy Mike," a good friend of ours who works with the youth of our church.

We've enjoyed seeing our first snow in the new house, and everyone is getting used to their rooms. Although that Chloe, I told her we had a "back up plan" if it snowed today and dad couldn't move stuff from storage. She said " we're going to move back to our old house?" I couldn't figure out how she got that from me saying "back up plan." But we often find that our "sayings" are quite puzzling to the teens.

I told Chance to "hold his pants on." And he told me they were on and he even had a belt too. I told Chase he needed to take a chill pill and he asked me where to get one?

I don't think we realize how many of these sayings we have until you have someone who looks at you like you are totally nuts and then it occurs to us we have to explain ourselves.

One thing we haven't had to explain, Christmas lists, circling what you hope for in the toy catalog. Yep. they are hard at it, and the "I want" disease is not leaving us anytime soon, I fear. My suggestion of focusing on what they have and how blessed they are must have went in one ear and right out the other one.

Just like a bunch of teens, huh? But for now no worries about Christmas since it's not coming sooner even if we do have snow. I can't remember the last time we had snow this early. I wonder if it means we will have a snow filled winter?

2011-10-25T22:29:00.002-04:00

I guess I better learn to shorten the gab. I wrote out a post 3 times and it deleted on me? OIY.

Here's a quicky update. Teens went to doctor today- Chase did another one of his "I think I'll turn pale, clammy and pass out" tricks. Needless to say I was NOT amused, as he is bigger than me now and not so easy to catch. He tolerated 2 shots last summer, but not 4 in China or today?

Maybe a needle phobia? Chloe cried. She got 5 shots. Just physicals and shots, nothing wrong with any of them.

We went on a hayride on Sunday evening, nearly came back less one kid. Yep, Camden fell off, hopped back on and said it was the biggest fun he ever had.? Only our kid, of course.

Chase said "take picture" when he saw me snapping shots before the hayride. And look at how much this son loves his dad. He is obviously his favorite parent. I hold no ~~who am I kidding~~ grudge about that- at least he thinks one of us is super, right? He's getting there with me, it's just taking longer for him to warm up.

I think of dad and how patient and tolerant he was waiting for Chloe to warm up to him. And I know I have to just give our son time to get used to me. I mean, how could he NOT like me?

I understand he is a bit puzzled by a mom who can take care of herself. No need for him to care for me, he can just focus on being a kid. Something he doesn't know quite how to do either.

We seem to have a disease running rampant around here, it's called the "I wants." I got a little tired of hearing what they are wanting for Christmas, or just because they WANT IT _ whatever IT is, and they want it NOW- so I told them they needed to start focusing on what they DO have.

I'm positive it was effective ~~just like when I talk to the walls~~ and they will straighten right up.

I'll let you all know how that all works out.

Enjoying the fall colors, wow, are they fabulous. Hope everyone reading is able to see the autumn leaves, so many shades and the hint of winter to come. Calling for SNOW on Sat. We'll see if that comes our way and let you know.

2011-10-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

Another year older. Not that I mind. Nope. 'Cause I've learned so much and keep learning, the older I get. I like the fact I gain maturity and knowledge as I age.

That I have learned to share my life with many. That I have overcome many things and still have an open heart. And God has blessed me greatly. He has sustained me through many years, many trials. And I am so thankful to have Him in my life, to be able to freely worship Him.

I had a lovely day. On the quiet side. I did my usual chores, dishes, laundry, again, not minding because I am happy to have water, a washer, a dryer, soap. More than some folks have. I try to never take for granted ALL I have.

Hubby brought home supper, a nice treat for all. And cheesecake:) And he bought me 2 books and a purse. Normally I am a fussy purse woman, no one tries to buy me a purse, I like a certain amount of pockets, a certain size of purse.

But he got me this cute patterned purse, and it's perfect. I really like it.

Kat presented me with the picture above, and said I was "skinny" in her picture. I guess that was supposed to make me feel good? I will treasure her picture of skinny me, no matter what.

Chance said to me "Sorry mom, I no have gift" and I told him a hug could be a gift. He then said " so when you birfday mom?" And when I said "today" he then hugged me and said "wow, that gift was free, cost no money." And I told him those were gifts of the best kind:)

Chloe wanted to know why the cheese cake looked like chocolate and did it really have cheese in it? Girl hates cheese. Loathes it. She has NO idea what she is missing:)

I'm off to have a piece or two of that cheese cake, drink a cup of tea, kick back with a book and enjoy the rest of my day. 44 years of life. I'm thrilled to be alive, well and the momma of MANY.

Birthday girls

2011-10-18T16:47:00.003-04:00

It's known around here as "Party Week." First is Mal, who turned 20 on Monday. We celebrated with pizza- since it was a fundraiser for the mission trip Chloe is going on:)

Then a party this evening for the next party girl, Kat turned a big 8 years old today! WOW. Hard to believe. She had a Hello K*tty cake and I baked pumpkin pie for Mal, who prefers pumpkin pie:)

Next is my big day, it will be less exciting now that I am "getting up there." And then on Sunday dad and I celebrate our wedding anniversary. Dad calls it an expensive week. It does take care of a bunch of us all at once.

Miss Kat asked for a Barb*e Jeep, she plays with the neighbor's and although she easily makes the weight limit of less than 50 lbs, her legs are so long she really doesn't fit well. So instead she got the neatest little scooter. She was tickled, well-- pink.

It was so cute.

I've been puzzled this week by her, she took her shower one evening and the next morning I saw it. Her bangs. Or the lack thereof. Not all of them, just chunks? Like they broke off? I asked her what happened. Assured her she was not going to be in any trouble, did she touch the razor in the shower? Nope, she promises she did not. All she did was comb her hair. No scissors within her reach, at least not that day, then yesterday Uncle Roy sent her scissors for her birthday!! (girl loves to make crafts of any kind)

We laughed like crazy over that birthday gift, though, seeing how we were so baffled about her hair. But the puzzle has not been solved. She says she combed her hair, that's it. And she really does not mess with cutting her hair, she has done that in the past and I can't see her doing that. As well as the hair not looking as if it was cut. It's very choppy, pieces long, next to ones about 1 inch long. Very odd.

Anyway, we had a lovely birthday party for the "girls" and the hair mystery lives on.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful and wonderful daughters-- short, strange "bangs" and all:))

Settling In

2011-10-13T17:18:00.003-04:00

It's just odd.

All the space. All the bedrooms. Not having to wait for someone to get out of the bathroom.

All the space. Did I say that already? It's just so different. Wonderful to spread out, knowing we all have beds to sleep in, no one in sleeping on the floor.

We have TV. I can check the weather each day. Our home. It's an amazing blessing we are so thankful for. That our family can enjoy this beautiful home is a gift. One I have waited for many years and wasn't sure we would ever see.

But here we are. Getting unpacked. Settling in our areas. The kids are getting used to everything. I still have a list of things to do, beyond unpacking. We have window sills to stain. I spent 6 hrs staining the stair well this week. We need closet rods, hubby has to work on those.

But as we sit here in the evening, much as we sat on the porch of this home and dreamed of when it would be done-- most every evening all summer, we just

marvel at how well it turned out. How lovely it all is.

I wish the kids attitudes matched my house:( Yeah, those boys again. Chase and Chance, both acted very much like the teens they are when they had a fit about helping me move some things, as well as Chase informing me he only had 4 pairs of clean unders and I didn't respond in a way that pleased him.

I told him he was "good to go for another 3 days at least." So I guess that was NOT the answer he was looking for? 'Cause he got mad and stayed mad. OIY.

Dad is working on clearing out the last of our things from the trailer tonight and getting the washer and dryer here and set up.

And I went yesterday and got sheets for all the kids, I don't quite know what happened to their OLD sheets, they all HAD them, but suddenly no one has any sheets? How does that happen?

Anyway, we are very happy our home is finally done. It was a long time coming.

Now we can focus on living our lives and not have the worry of the house remodel on us. YEAH!!

5 years ago today

2011-10-10T20:58:00.007-04:00

An amazing thing happened.

A tiny little slip of a girl was handed to us. A new daughter. Not born of our bodies but of our hearts.

Starting us on an incredible journey as our love for another culture and these children abandoned within that culture. Our hearts have grown, our family has grown, and our lives will never be the same.

We are so thankful that we were chosen for this life, this journey, these children.

Our love for them is endless. We are blessed, incredibly blessed and it all started with this one, the sweetest treasure we have ever known. Kat.

I had a gift for the sweet one, but with the move I can't find it. I know, what in the world? I can only say I am overwhelmed. I am trying to unpack, while wondering what we REALLY need since we lived without all this stuff for 4 months. So as I asked the kids to help, they apparently are sick of us moving and concerned with (gasp) only themselves.

How much space they are getting, when they are getting their pictures hung up, etc. Hey, don't forget most of them are teens. They think the world is all about them.

I was trying to get them to bring me boxes, I go through the boxes and if it's not stuff we need right away take it back to the storage room. But they got annoyed I was sending stuff back, and started throwing the stuff all over the storage room, so I had to regroup and start over in the storage room, going through boxes there. Made more sense to do that anyway.

We have stairs to stain, window frames to stain, closet rods to get in all the closets. Stuff to hang, and hubby has to do that, since I am a "eye ball it and put in a nail" kinda girl, while he is a "measure and get it perfect the first time" kinda guy.

And hopefully I can find Miss Kitty her Family Day gift. It's here somewhere.

I posted pics of Miss cute stuff and Chloe fixing up her room, as well as our new kitchen. More house pics to come-- it turned out fantastic. It's really something. Worth the wait for sure:)

Missing you

2011-10-08T20:57:00.003-04:00

Today I cried,

held tight in your daddy's arms.

For I missed you, you see,

your smile, your charm.

Gone too soon,

we knew your life would be short.

And we accepted God's invitation to love you,

Even when we knew losing you would hurt.

We could not have loved you more,

We feel so honored to have been blessed by your life.

Your eyes so blue, your soft little coos.

You stayed until it was time for you to take flight.

You taught us to live each day to it's fullest,

'cause no one know what tomorrow will be.

You earned your wings dear son,

And are now God's sweetest angel baby.

In Honor of our precious son, Tristan, whom we will never forget and never stop loving. His life was an amazing gift to us.

Born 12-26-07 Became an angel 10-8-08 age 9 months 12 days.

Sorry

2011-10-06T10:11:00.003-04:00

So sorry. (MOM) Been too busy to blog. Why you say? Well-----we heard some magic words yesterday.

MOVE IN. It's all done. We're outta here. See ya, have a nice life. And off they went. All the "dudes" leaving us with a dirty, but done home.

So last night we cleaned up the construction mess and partially set up our new living room. I just HAD to have one room looking like we live there, besides Chloe's room, who btw, moved herself in over the course of this week already. 'Cause her room was done.

We still have a few odds and ends to do, put on toilet seats, closet rods, staining the stairwell. The back splash guy is coming tomorrow, he is also the floor guy so he will put down the trim between floors and around the steps. The stone out front isn't done yet, but that isn't keeping us out.

We are moving in. FINALLY. It's looking amazing. A complete blessing, even with the hassles. Had another one (hassle) this am but it turned out better than we thought. Water got going yesterday via the plumber and we had rotten egg smell. OIY. Called the well drilling company this am to see if we needed a whole house filter for sulfur.

NOPE. Thank God, we just needed to "shock" the water in hot water tank as it had sat for a time and when it does that bacteria grows in it and smells like sulfur. Stink-ee.

So dude arrived and now it smells bleachy clean- ha ha.

And I'm off to get some more cleaning done and stuff arranged. Pictures to come, no time to post them now.

For all who responded to the "baby picture" post, thank you. The kids were "found" older. No young finding ads for them. And I am letting them think about what they want to do, how they want to handle it. I was just thrilled to give them choices, to not have to say "too bad we have no baby pictures." And they are very thankful and amazed they have some options to choose from.

I appreciated every one's opinions and am so thankful you care enough to share with us, these wonderful and tough times with our family.

For now, party hardy for us, we are moving in. WHOOOO HOOOOOO!!

Need Help

2011-09-29T20:14:00.003-04:00

You all KNOW how much I love my kids. You KNOW there isn't much of anything I wouldn't do for them.

You also know that some of them didn't come to us as cute lil' buggers, but as bigger buggers. And we love them deeply.

It's just at times we run into things that are difficult and I am stumped as to the best way to handle it. So I come to here for help, 'cause you all- my bloggy friends are THE BEST.

You never fail to help. It's one of very best things about blogging. Sharing these kiddos and their blessings with you.

The dilemma- the twins have picture time coming up and this is their last year in Middle School. So as they take the pics for the year and are putting together the year book, they are asking for- you guessed it-- baby pictures.

Something we do not have. Not a one.

So I told the kids I would "take care of it" and Chloe looked at me like I had totally lost my mind (no wonder, huh?)

And as I rack my brain for a way to help them- they want to fit in and be like everyone else these are the (crazy) ideas I think of--

I've heard of age regression pictures, Problem-I doubt we could afford them.

Send in 2 pictures of Kat as a baby- at least it's still someone in the family? Problem- they really don't look that much alike.

Pick out pics of kids from Henan and send them in. Problem- is that even legal? I don't really feel right doing that.

Ask any readers with Henan kids to compare any baby pics they have of their precious gems and if they are similar to Chloe or Chance to allow us to use them-

Problem- not sure anyone would want to do that?

I want to give the kids what they can't have. I know, I l know, I can't fix everything. But I want them to have a picture that if they chose, they do NOT have to tell anyone it isn't really THEM. And I will let it up to them, who they tell.

So they can be like everyone else. They had a beginning. I just don't have record of it:(

Any one else have any other suggestions? I'm open to them, let 'em rip.

Lunch with my eldest

2011-09-28T15:36:00.003-04:00

My oldest "Son"shine. As I call him.

On break from the semester, he went with me to get Chloe's new laminate floor (another lesson- don't try to reuse laminate, sigh)

And closet lights. Must be covered lights. Per code. Did you all know that? Now you do.

So off we went. Got the flooring, picked out some books son could buy me for my up and coming birthday ( the only way I get a gift from him- if I pick it and it's usually books:)

Lunch was sushi. A favorite of both of ours. Although I had 2 bowls of wonton soup because my throat is horribly sore, thanks to the not-so-lovely strep throat I got from somewhere.

We enjoyed a HUGE laugh when I got to the check out at the home store and didn't I stick my foot right into my mouth. I saw a young man just waiting for a "customer" and I said---- "Look, a man just waiting to check me out."

OIY. I realized how that sounded and tried to say "Uhh, I'm married, happily married, with 12 kids and I mean you are waiting to check out my items?"

Double OIY. What could have been terribly embarrassing just became funny and funnier. Such is what happens when I take any of my kids anywhere. We act like nuts.

Derrik, aka sonshine, felt terrible I had to get flooring and lights for the house, since I wasn't feeling well, so not only did he treat me to lunch, he had me stop and he got me ice cream for later today. To sooth my throat. Such a sweetie.

Anyway, we were asked by a dear friend to send out postcards to her grandson in South Dakota, for his class to look up where post cards come in from and see the differences in where people live/ weather, etc. So we included where the kiddos are from as well, sent one from the teens, and one from Kat.

So if Jory's class comes checkin' out this lil' ol' blog- then "HI!!!! Jory and friends." Or Ni Hao in Chinese which sounds like "knee how?" We LOVE education and fun ways to learn. I hope we can stay in touch and see how winter goes here and compare it to there.

We are off to clean the attic- hey now-- the kids asked what they could "do" as soon as they got off the bus. I was ready and prepared for them today:)

It's all about teeth

2011-09-26T21:03:00.004-04:00

Off to the dentist we went today. A new one because, quite frankly the last one made me mad. Offended me.

How? You say? Well---- when they charged me $90 EXTRA to clean the plaque off of Chase's teeth when I honestly told them that he had never seen a dentist before and came from an orphanage. A regular cleaning fee I would have taken, but $90 MORE tacked on? Like if anyone had light/no plaque do you think they give out a discount? I don't think so.

And that was it for me, cause they KNEW we do not have dental insurance.

Now, I do not ask for favors for my children, they are our responsibility, we accept that. But to be charged extra due to their past circumstances that could not be helped, I'm not going to sit back and take that either.

So the new dentist was really nice. They were so interested in the kids, they blocked off 3 hrs for me to bring all 5 at once. OIY. What was I thinking? I had to make a mad run to pick up 5 kids at 4 different schools! Then boogie to get to the dentist on time.

No one came out unscathed:( Chloe still has a issue with a front tooth that did not come out well with the extensive treatment the first dentist tried. Chance has 2 cavities as do Camden and Chase. Kat has 2 tiny ones but they are in teeth getting ready to fall out. So they all get to go back, but in doubles, not all 5.

I think the dentist needs time to replenish the prize basket, the kids were so tickled with the prize basket they got about 5 things EACH. I tried to tell them to get out of the basket, take one, etc. But the dentist told me to let them go, let them have as much as they wanted. He shook my hand and said they were such nice kids, he said we are "doing a great job with them." I told him we were blessed with these children, them being here was a miracle.

Usually I dread any new places where we have to give a health history for the kids, I have to be honest and tell them I don't know about a lot of things. But I learned more about my kids today, that (no surprise) Chase had to go to the hospital for fighting- oh, that temper of his. That was when we were going over if anyone had been in the hospital before they came home.

I was surprised how well the kids handled that long of a time in a tiny waiting room and with no Internet (I know, how dare they) but other than declaring to all they were going to starve to death till they all got done and back home, they were well behaved. Not their usual selves at all:)

And it seems that Camden would like to be a future dentist, because he convinced Kat to let him pull her very loose other front tooth. So now the tooth fairy is expected to visit tonight and Kat has now gotten twice as hard to understand.

At least for today the kids all have very clean teeth. No extra charges involved:)
Quite thankful for that.

Learning

2011-09-24T19:36:00.000-04:00

Well, we are hearing rumors that our house will be done enough for us to move in soon. The floors are going down, trim is supposed to be done next week, as is the final electrical stuff and plumbing stuff. The stove, fridge and microwave came yesterday.

I am learning so much with this remodel.

Like-

I NEVER want to remodel/build again. MY "vision" is officially shut down.

I would NEVER make it as a house flipper, I would hurt someone and end up in jail.

Budgets mean NOTHING to contractors. I think their motto is "budgets are meant to be broken, let's party."

Expect the worse with everything. 'Cause that's likely what you will get. No one comes on time, does what they are supposed to, works a full day, or tells the truth about when they will be done.

It must be in the code book of building and the #1 rule in builder's school- always say "Oh, soon", or "Maybe", or my all-time-favorite "We'll SEE." We sure do. We SEE nothing happen for weeks on end.

Miss Kitty can pull off pretty stinkin' cute no matter where she lives:) See pictures above- and yes, we are bias. Of course we are. Sweetness inside and out.

So other than the fun of our remodel/build, our week has been fairly quiet.

I'm almost scared to write that. No calls from the school, no one missed the bus, no one created drama, besides Camden and Chance.

Camden's drama? He is going to Outdoor School next Tuesday- Friday and last night he HAD to pack. Had to. And when I told him it might help if he cleaned up his pile of crap-mainly clothes he can't seem to walk a whole 50 feet to the laundry, he came out with a huge armload of clothes and dumped them in a laundry basket.

When he came to me 4 hours later and wanted to know if those clothes were done yet? Well... let's just say I was not amused, sooo not amused. Didn't have ONE chuckle for him:( I hadn't even STARTED them. It was pouring down rain so no chance of hanging anything out, matter of fact there's ended up being a few things on the clothes line for 2 days due to it raining every day.

Who does that child think I am? Laundry Queen?

The kids had off school yesterday just for fun (teacher inservice day already)and they parked themselves on the new living room floor like a bunch of puppies, they got the outdoor chair cushions and sacked out watching movies all day. Nothin' else to do in the rain. They watched the floor guy for a while, I hope they didn't annoy him, 'cause at 2 pm I realized he was GONE. Done for the day I guess?

I went for groceries, a dreaded chore and took Chance after dad got home. Chance said "First time you pick me." Not true, but he was so happy I "picked him" to go along. Funny how something so simple makes him so happy. We had lost electric for some reason (remind me to post about the joys of living in the country) anyway and were bored, so we took off.

We had gone to the store last week, when Camden needed some track type pants, and Chance had his drama fit. Giving me dirty looks all through the store, pouting, staying back from us like he didn't belong to me. I couldn't figure out his issue, I thought he was jealous Camden was getting a pair of pants. We still see that quite a bit. Even though the 3 teens have quite a bit of nice, new clothing.

So he got sent to the kid room when we got home. And I told him I buy a TON of clothes for all of them and that when Chase outgrows things, he passes them down if they are still nice, and we expected him to do the same. Because his issue was that Camden was wearing a pair of jeans of HIS. That didn't FIT him anymore.

I sometimes do forget these kids had NOTHING of theirs. They can and do have a hard time letting go of things, even clothes that no longer fit. Because they would wear things that no longer fit just to HAVE clothes in the orphanage.

It was so sweet though, when Chance came to me later and said "Mom, can you forgive me? I think about it, and you right. I give too small things to Camden, 'cause you buy me more."

I told him I didn't want him to ever be without if I could help it and that I wanted him to understand he didn't HAVE to hang on to things that no longer fit. It wasn't about me wanting Camden to have all his stuff. ( a common thought for them- that Camden is "favored") And he got it. He told me he understood.

Then I explained to him that he hurt Camden's feelings, that he would feel bad if Chase yelled at him in a store about wearing his clothes, so he apologized to Camden. Learning.

Although he might have gone overboard, I heard him say to Chloe, he "didn't think he looked good enough in his shoes anymore, he needed new ones." Uhh, NO. I told him we did not buy new shoes because we needed to LOOK good when the ones just bought a month ago were perfectly fine.

OIY. What a fine line we walk. Trying not to spoil but also provide. Trying to help them share, but also not take away comforts for them. Always learning and sharing their lives. Watching them grow. The are priceless.

Unlike home remodeling, which is NOT priceless. So I'm off to see if any money to extend the budget is growing on the trees at the house, what are the odds of that?? Ha ha!

Paintin' done

2011-09-19T21:00:00.001-04:00

Thanking God for the strong body He gave me to get all the painting done. WHOOO HOOO, it's completed. Every room has primer, ceilings painted white, and 2 coats of color.

I'm a girl who likes color, Chloe calls it "flavor." Gotta have color (flavor). We have a lovely variety, our main areas, hallways, entry and living room are done in a sandstone textured paint with glitter that you only see sparkle when the sun hits it. Tiny gold twinkling. It's soooo pretty, but was sooooo messy to paint. It has real sand in it and splattered everywhere on me, even in my eyes:(

Then the kitchen/ dining room combo is sage green. Bathroom is pale blue. Chloe's room is a load of fun- pink on 2 walls, 2 white on 2 walls, then circles of all different sizes go around the middle of the room like a wave. They are in hot pink, white, pink and black, and the black ones are done in chalkboard paint:)

Kat's room is lavender and mint green. So girly. Master bedroom is hunter green. The boys' room are pale blue and then Camden and Chance picked out green and yellow for their room. Downstairs bathroom is white and the family room is now amber yellow. Like a gold color. It started out white, I didn't like that, I did antique white/tan and dad didn't like that, so then it went to gold and I have no desire to repaint it ever again.

I really have no desire to repaint ANY of those rooms for a good long time. I finished up yesterday- yeah, I know it was Sunday and you aren't supposed to be working. BUT the floor guy started today, bright and early and I had to get it done.

The kids did a ton of work Sat. I took I-pods hostage and demanded some help. I found out Chloe and Chase are great at painting, they are careful and do a good job. Chance and Camden do a fast job, not so neat though. I never would have gotten done if they hadn't helped me, and they are helped dad too working on staining the trim, all 150 pieces of it.

It's going to be amazing when we can stand in a room and say- "See that trim, you did that, or, I painted those walls," etc. Pride. In our home. The kids are really starting to get it when it comes to this being "our home" and what we put into it matters.

Not that we are encouraging materialism, no way, but this house is a blessing God has given us and we want the kids to see what all goes in it to learn some care for their surroundings. We all have a "painting outfit" except Princess Kat, of course, but I have 2 so I make up for her lack of painting hours. And my 2 outfits are sorry looking clothes now.

We do have to wonder if we are experiencing more issues than most? We ordered 6 cabinets to fix the upper cabinets that are not correctly put in and to add to the cabinet space. WELL---- when the lower cabinet was to go in this morning before the floor was started we learned we had 6 UPPER cupboards, not one lower cabinet to be found:(

Also the cement porch has cracked in one place, and the crack is growing bigger daily. The kids put paint rollers still wet with paint on the deck, the already stained deck:(

It seems we daily come upon an issue, or two which I wonder if it's to teach us patience or what? IS this just how it is when you remodel/build? If so, why does anyone ever do this? It's such a hassle. It's frustrating to say the least.

Add in the not so much fun of an issue of our e-mail being invaded by some goofball that was using our address in the wrong then called our Internet provider and got them to place a freeze on OUR account last week.

When I called today because hubby couldn't take calling one more time (called 3 times over the weekend with no success) I finally got a real person on the line at 48 minutes, 36 seconds. And I said to her ( it was a great effort but I said this very nicely) " I just want to tell you this first. I have been on hold for 48 minutes of my life. Please do not apologize either because the automated dude you have come on every 30 seconds to tell me you all were too busy for my call has now apologized to me 284 times."

She was SPEECHLESS. She paused and said "I hope I can help you?" And she did. Our account is unfrozen and goofball is being warned not to use it again. One small success in my world today- ha ha!

I did take a few moments off yesterday and caught a pic of Donovan for his year book. He looks so grown up. And since everyone asks, the red mark beside his lip is a birth mark, he's had it since birth. Donovan took a break from installing outlets, our house needing electrical work is his lifetime dream job:) He wanted to help and got his first "shock" and I don't mean that we didn't pay him. He got shocked by an outlet he thought was off.

I'm off now for bed, tomorrow the tile goes down. The kids are so excited, they can't hardly stand it. I must hear 50 times a day in the hours I see them- "when is my room gonna be done? Are we moving in soon. What will we do the first day we are in the house? Where will we put this, or that?"

Tomorrow I will be calling the cabinet dude bright and early. I'll try really hard to be nice. (mom)

Adjustment

2011-09-13T09:12:00.000-04:00

I know our house has been at the forefront of our minds and my blog posts. But nothing to say except painting- up, down, day after day, color after color- too boring. But it's such a blessing to be getting close to moving in.

SOoooo--- this post is all about the kids. Yep, you got it. The kids. I know you are missing hearing all about them (mom).

I'll update on adjustments of all the additions, not to slight Camden or Donovan. Because just as adoption is for life, adjustment is ongoing.

I'll start with the oldest newbie. Chase. He seems to have stopped growing/ gaining weight for the present time. He's about 5 '7 and 129 lbs. Healthy looking. He is having good success with the witch hazel someone commented and said to try for his "bubbles aka pimples." (THANKS!) Although even with less bubbles he is still looking at his face 100 times a day.

He seems happier. He is settling in. He still struggles with letting us parent him- even understanding what being a child of 16 means is difficult for him. He is so used to be "the man, the provider." It's hard when he has done that for so long to realize he can let that go now.

I would say he is still in "survival mode" in some ways, that is- he will take care of something himself before he asks it of us. But in many ways we see him trying to turn to us more, knowing we can be trusted. We realize his progress is going to be ongoing and we see improvement so we are encouraged by that.

He has lost that scared look, every time something goes wrong. The look of "Oh no, that's it. They will be done with me." He is still surprised that we will not "garbage him." As he says it. "Nope", I tell him, "We don't garbage any children, he is stuck with us forever." We hear that much less often, maybe once a month or so, just checking that it hasn't changed, I guess.

And it doesn't. He's here for good. In many ways he is seeing the good of being here, he is making friends, he is learning English, he is interested in a girl here. He is understanding and accepting he is important and we love him. Gaining self confidence. It shows. He can handle some teasing, some fun, he is lightening up and dropping some of the total seriousness his life has consisted of till now. Becoming a child.

He is closest to dad, because they are most alike. Quiet. Strong. He doesn't quite know what to do with a mom who isn't needy, who wants to take care of HIM. He is helpful, will do any job asked of him and some we don't ask.

He loves music. He tolerates the dog and cat barely, still doesn't get why we have them for PETS, in the house, animals, pets.

He's very protective of his things. He takes immaculate care of his clothing, shoes, bedding. Anything that is his.

He is a treasure. I can not even imagine him being left behind and am so thankful he was not. He is where he belongs. We see him relaxing and getting that more and more each day. I don't wish him to grow up too fast but can hardly wait to see where his life goes. He's a wonderful son.

Chloe. She is still in girl's 14 clothes, much to her dismay. I'm happy 'cause the clothes are cheaper but she doesn't like the selection. She is very "into" how she looks, a typical teen. Both her and Chance are about 5 ft 2 but she is around 98 lbs and he is over 100. Again, looking healthy and fit. Both are very active.

She is a diva, even though she won't admit it. She's sometimes prickly, but she is learning to be much more accepting that the world does not revolve around her:) She has the biggest heart. She is signed up and joyfully working and saving everything she can to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica in Feb 2012 with our church group.

She is so eager to go and HELP. People in need.

She is still the queen of questions. Asking stuff all the time. She actually told me and dad that she "knew what we did when we went to bed." We were thinking "HUH?" When she said "You lay down and go - ahhh- with a sigh of relief that I am finally asleep and quiet." Ha ha- we told her she was totally right. She can be exhausting.

But she reminds me so much of me, as a child. You see, I too, was a prickly girl, having lost my dad before I was even 10 years old and feeling like I was "different" because of it. I didn't let many people close to me, as they could hurt me. You keep people out, they don't hurt you.

So I understand where she comes from. And she must see the kindred souls that we are because she is leaning more and more on me. Wanting to be mothered when she really never had a mother and has struggled to understand what that means. But she's getting it. I'm here for her. I've got her back.

I'll pull her up if she falls, I'll correct her if she is going the wrong way, we love her. As is. She's a beautiful person, inside and out. She can be very funny, but also very insightful.

As we dined out (rarely can afford this) and the kids totally enjoyed a buffet supper, they got to talking about being rich. Chance wanted to be rich and own a buffet restaurant so he can eat any time he wants as much as he wants. And Chloe made this comment- "But rich people don't adopt a bunch of kids."

She was not being mean about people being rich, she was just understanding that they have money, but they don't have what we have- a bunch of adopted kids. Kids we didn't expect to have. But blessings, each and every one of them and we wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. No way.

She understands the best how God provided in bringing her brothers home. How He is there for her. How He brought her to us, thus bringing the brothers as well. It seems she has gained the most from them being reunited and adopted to the same family- it gave her faith. Because we take NO credit, it was all GOD. She knows that.

Chloe is very fussy about her things, very neat and orderly. Dedicated to learning. She wants help with her homework and it has to be NOW, not later.

She's also getting what it means to have a dad. That he is there for her. He can "funny" (tease) her- she slaps him:) She has asked him to put her bed together as soon as her flooring is done. Not asking me to ask him. She likes to say she came from "my belly" as she sees us as the only parents she has ever had. Almost 13 years to get us. That makes me sad, but thankful she didn't have to NEVER get us.

On to Chance. He is still growing. No wonder with everything the boy eats. He can put away more food than I have ever seen in one sitting and I have teen/ adult sons. We've talked to him about not eating things he doesn't like just because it's there. We worry he still thinks he will not get fed every day 3 times a day plus snacks. He's taking the longest to settle down on the eating.

He's girl crazy, he wants to have a girlfriend badly. And I am sure there is no shortage of willing girls, I saw a whole group of them crowding around him at Open House:(

School is tough for him. He is getting more support this year because we are fairly certain he has some type of learning disability. He says he is "dumb or stupid" but I correct him by telling him he learns differently and we haven't figured out how to teach him. That he is in no way stupid nor are we upset with him- something he worries deeply about.

He has accepted the fastest and easiest of all 3 teens that we love him and are keeping him. No garbage questions out of him. He calls us mom and dad, not "mother/father." He accepts that we are his parents and he doesn't have to use the highest form of respect (Mother/Father) as other kids don't usually do that- besides Chloe and Chase:)

He is so social and outgoing, so rarely in a bad mood, it's hard not to like him. He's not the least bit shy like Chloe and Chase. He's also the messiest, fitting in with Camden quite well. Matter of fact, they are buddies now. They hang out together the most and really get along well.

Although Chance doesn't ask as many questions as Chloe, his mouth runs all the time. He is either talking to himself, singing, talking with someone all the time. He is only quiet when he is sleeping:) He always says to us "good morning mom, good morning dad." Even when it's evening:) He is polite and fun to be around, making him quite popular.

It helps too that he is just stinkin' cute, where Chase is more handsome and mature, Chance is just plain cute. That smile that is almost always on his face is hard to resist. He does seem to worry more about long term than the others, he questions how long he can live with us and we assure him for as long as he needs/wants to.

He is always telling me things that make me laugh, even if he isn't talking directly to me. I overheard him in the van coming home from church Sunday saying this- "Ohhh- there's a deer. I'd love to shoot it, but can't because mom doesn't like guns and killing animals so I can't kill deer. No shooting, mom says, it not nice. So no shooting deer, even though we could eat for long time. That mom, too bad."

Another treasure. Almost lost, sitting on a list, waiting for his family. We are so blessed to be the ones to share this child's life. So meant to be:)

Miss Kitty- well, "total princess", the kids were all complaining how she got "another new pair of shoes"- they don't realize her feet finally went up a size from toddler 10 and she needs new shoes. They think she is spoiled but they dote on her as well.

She is getting taller, almost 5 years home now and she is 42 lbs. Still tough to get weight on her, she eats more "Chinese like" than the other 3. She is not willing to try things they are. But she is healthy so we don't worry about it.

She adores her PoPo and Gong Gong (Chinese grandparents, formerly her foster parents) but refuses to hear much at all about a "Chinese birth mother." Doesn't care, for her- I am her mom. That's it. And Dad, well, dad is the love of her life. She adores him. He sits, she's right there wanting to sit with him.

She's very bright, doing well in school, but sensitive as can be. Yesterday the teacher kept them over by accident and Kat (along with 3 others) missed the bus. So they called me and when I got there she was stone silent. Standing there. Waiting for me to fall apart, I saw the storm coming and as soon as she got in the van she did. Cried. Upset. Scared.

Typical 2nd grader, which mom easily calmed down with saying "No big deal, it happens, I'm late sometimes too." Then I got to calm Chloe down when we got back too, even though I left her a note, she apparently got extremely worried and upset before coming in the house and READING the note. Because lil' sis wasn't on the bus. And she should have been.

Looking out for each other. Picking at each other. Laughing with each other. Sharing with each other. Keeping tabs on what each other gets. Worrying about school, girls, pimples, driving. Pretty normal teen stuff on a daily basis:)Thinking about what they want to do someday for jobs.

Dreaming of a future. Knowing they CAN. Because their future will be safe, secure with a family to back them and help them get where they want to go. It seems so small, what we "do" for them. But it's a freedom for them, freedom from the label of "orphan." Of the label of unwanted. Of the label of unworthy, unable to get work, unable to go "home" to family.

To them it's priceless, and for us they are a gift- a blessing from God- sharing the good and the bad, they are our children. Adding to us, not taking away. They bring joy, laughter, fun and bumps to the road of life here. Not a boring day in our world, that's for sure. And we can't imagine our lives any other way.

So there's an update on the adjustment of the kiddos- long overdue.

Now back to work- painting. Oh joy.

Awfully quiet

2011-09-09T12:30:00.000-04:00

Hey- whatcha all up to? Been awful quiet here on the blog front. Our cable went out again for 5 days, no internet service or phone. The joys of living in the country:)

What have I been up to you ask? Or maybe ya didn't but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

I am painting. Normally I love to paint. Fairly cheap solution to make a big change in a room- bring on the paint. BUT--- having learned from the contractor that no money is in the budget for a painter- I wanted to scream. Because the dry wall is finished- done. Whooo- hooo you say.

Boo hoo I say. Because it means the WHOLE house has to be painted. All the ceilings are textured and they have to be painted with primer then painted white. Then the walls are most all new so they have to get a coat of primer first as well and then painted- 2 coats each. I have been working my tail off ( in fact my tail is GONE) for days, and have Chloe's, Kat and Phoebe's, master bedroom, bathroom and kitchen/dining room done.

I have huge living room, entry way, 2 boys bedrooms, family room and a bathroom to go. I wanted to see if I could get someone to help me, I mean it's really NOT hard- no trim yet, no outlets, no lights to work around. Just painting. But the dude that came and gave me an estimate for the 8 rooms I had left to do was nuts, I tell ya. Looney toons. He quoted me $2180?? For 8 rooms?

That's like $272 per room. Insane. We are in an area of high unemployment, and I'll be saving my pennies, thank you very much. Yup, paintin' it myself, thinking every time I finish a room- well, I saved $272 there. And $272 there. So there.

And it will get done. The floor guy comes on Mon the 19th. His work will take a week, then we can get the electrician in to put in our lights and outlets and such and the contractor to finish up the trim and WE MOVE IN.

It is fun seeing the colors go on. Sage green, lavender and green, pink, blue. The blue for the bathroom was a bright, mind boggling blue. Hubby said last night at first coat he "hated it." I thought it would dry lighter. Well- it did which just made it brighter. I looked at it yesterday morning and realized there was NO WAY I wanted to look at that bright of anything first thing each morning and I took off for Chase's room to swap out some paint. He had a nice pale blue picked out and that's what it ended up.

Hubby came home and marveled how that blue had lightened up so much:)
(Yes MOM, I eventually told him the truth)

What have the kids been up to? School:) Going to school. Every day. One day off early already 'cause of the rain and flooding. It rained so much I thought I missed the announcement to build an ark and was missing the boat? Ha ha. It was really bad though.

I got 7 phone calls and 3 e-mails in the first 2 days of school. (I must be on speed dial) Then the phone went out at the house. Blasted kids know mother's cell phone number and gave that out to the school with glee- so I couldn't hide anywhere from the calls.

Mostly schedule changes, getting everyone settled, trying to find out why Kat wasn't getting a drink at lunch since she won't drink any type of milk and wasn't being offered juice this year? Not allowed we are told, so now she takes her own each day.

Our ESL program improved - our 3 teens are only 3 of 6 total students our ESL teacher has to work with this year. She no longer is doing all the elementary students as well as middle and high schoolers, which totaled more than 20 kids last year. She did not have the time our children needed. So she is feeling much more available and able to sit in classes/ pull them from classes for instruction than previously.

I did kick a little fuss and Chloe asked if they would get in trouble for me asking too much of the school. I assured her she would not, they were used to me by now:) I told the school the papers/ handbook that the kids bring home at the beginning of the year for them to sign and me to sign needed to be in Chinese for the kids. That them signing that they agree to certain rules/ set assignments makes no sense when they can't read well enough to even know what they are signing.

Ya think they would have thought of this? Nope. So I told them to get the stuff translated so the kids can understand it and follow the rules they are sure of. The teens are almost paranoid about getting in trouble at school- even though it would not be the end of the world. I think that follows them from treatments received in school back in China if one did not meet expectations:(

Miss Kitty told me how she knows her teacher's name. You'll just love this. "Mrs. Cutting- da- ham." You can tell the girl loves meat. I laughed and laughed but put it all together and she's got Mrs. Cunningham:)

Chance made me laugh too, he told Donovan to share something with him. Donovan came back with "What do you ever share with me?" And Chance had that all figured out with "My MOM- I share my mom with you!" Hummm- not sure how that works since I really was Donovan's first- but Chance wasn't getting that. He's the funniest kid. Almost always smiling and in a good mood.

Chase is liking school better it seems this year. He's seems happier and I got one of the 7 calls to just tell me he was "fitting in well and looked sharp." Okay then. No more weird t-shirt sewn into a jacket shirts from the orphanage that don't fit him anymore. I think he has gotten taller and filled out some.

Camden's BIG day is today, He is 11 today. Ahh where is time going? My youngest living son, my mini male me, my redheaded baby boy is getting so big. He's loving school, getting so tall, he's a great brother and son. We are very proud of how he has not resented any of the adopted children, foster children, he is a big help to them and enjoys being a part of a big family.

He's such a treasure. A gift from God. We love him so much.

I took cupcakes and juice for Camden's birthday to school, 'cause he said I had to. Just had to. He didn't care if I said I needed to paint, he HAD to have cupcakes. So I went and got cupcakes, more paint, more stain and will head back to the painting chore.

Anyone living close and loves to paint, well just come on over- no invite needed. Wear old clothes and grab a brush. You won't be kicked out of my house:))

There's a need

2011-09-01T22:20:00.006-04:00

When I hear of a family in need I want to help, especially when it's for a child of God, coming home to a great family but those last funds needed are short. Because I have first hand witnessed the miracles God can do- just a look at my 2 sons here today because God called and His people said "Yes, oh yes. Let me be a part of this. And dollar by dollar we were blown away.

I am NOT asking for help for us to adopt Phoebe, I have shared that so far God has generously provided our funds needed to proceed. And we are NO less thankful for that.

But I come to my wonderful friends, fellow adoptive families, and most of all Christians in love with the orphans, those of you who hold them in your hearts, and don't hesitiate to give with loving hearts.

This child is 9. She is a special needs child, which means, she is super special to her family as her need is THEM. And they WILL give her a fabulous family. We know this family and they are great people.

I love to see any and ALL children get a family. I know, oh I know, so well, how deeply important it is. And I know these are God's precious children that He wants to see happy, loved, in homes with families that love them. It is not His Will that these children are orphans and unloved. I could tell you terrible stories of things my own children have endured being orphans in a society that didn't want them.

But this is about LOVE-- the love of a family for a girl, who needs to know she is wanted. She is loved. She has a Heavenly Father who adores her. And she will be getting that. And more. Just look at how happy our Chloe is and imagine if she had never gotten adopted?? Ohh. I can't imagine life without her! What a lost treasure she would have been, I shudder to even think of it, but thankfully she is not, nor are her brothers. They are loved. They are orphans NO LONGER.

SO PLEASE. I ASK. For every orphan hoping "Will they come for me today? My family, someone who wants ME, not a tiny baby, but ME, a bigger girl, with an issue or two? Could anyone really care to want me?"

Go to here http://mattmandi.blogspot.com/

Please give with your hearts. Give to help Kelia get home. Be a part of something so special that every time you think about it, doesn't matter if it's years from now, you'll get a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing YOU helped this one, to make it to a family. And God will see what you did. He will be thrilled.

And one by one, till there are NO MORE------ we all can do something to see 163 MILLION orphans, be one less, then another, and another and another and another------------

Could it get any better than that? Let's do it. Let's knock the mountain her parents see as the burden keeping them from getting her home to the ant hill God sees $$ roadblocks as. Let's blow this mountain people, I wanna watch it going.... going..... GONE.

I PROMISE I will post a MUCH worth it updated picture of our newest treasure, Miss Phoebe if the total amount needed comes in for Kelia. Just a little incentive for you all:))

I had to come back and edit, I forgot to even mention cool giveaway you will be entered in if you do give, I guess it's not the most important thing, of course, but it's a neat chance to get something if you win.

Do you hear God calling you- For go that take out coffee today- give that $5 to honor God's wishes! He tells us to "love and care for the orphans." Now get on over there and let's LOVE, let's CARE, let's GIVE!!

Blow the mountain, blow my socks off, more importantly --make God laugh with JOY at how many people respond to His call. He knows your heart, He gives the opportunity, the means, now it's your time/turn to do IT.

And off they went

2011-08-29T08:01:00.003-04:00

To school. Bright and early, the kids were sooo wound up last night, I don't know how they got any sleep. But they were chipper as could be this morning, ready way before they needed to be.

They looked pretty sharp, if you ask me. I *might* be a bit bias but I am allowed to be:) Don't worry about Chase not smiling- the twins pick on him and tell him he "has no eyes" when he smiles, so he refuses to let me get a picture of him smiling. Teenage vanity. What can I say?

Camden goes with dad to work, gets dropped off at the sitter this year, as he is going to his last year of Elementary school at his old school. A big change for me and Miss Kitty, I think for her it will be a good change. It gives her over an hour of momma time all to herself. No bickering between those two. And next year he will leave with the teens for middle school- can't believe I am even writing that. Where did my red headed baby go?

He's a "pre-teen"as he informed me yesterday when he was moved up in Sunday school class. Not sure my heart can take it! Along with Donovan starting to drive and getting his own car (via his father) I can truly say, it does not get easier to watch your babies grow up and away with the more you have.

Each one is so special, it's hard not to want to hang onto them. Speaking of, we addressed an ongoing issue with the teens again last night. About not ditching them when they hit 18. All 3 of them will still be in high school past 18, but even so, they worry that they won't know how to get jobs, support themselves, etc.

And we did it. We told them they could live with us for as long as they wanted/needed. Now I HEAR all the groaning you people are doing. But I have no doubt these 3 will have gained so much maturity and self confidence by the time they are seniors in high school that they will have no issues with wanting to spread their wings.

And they need the security of us, knowing we got their backs, which is what family is all about. And that's why I said it. And meant it.

Chloe was trying to figure out how to get all my money before I croak, I swear these kids scare me sometimes. She figured out that 1/11 of an inheritance = NOT MUCH. So she told me when I am 90 I could buy her a house in Ch*na, that could be her money from me when I die. I was nice enough to inform her I will be using up everything I have (already am) on raising them and will have very little left to "give" them when I'm gone and I won't care 'cause I won't be here!! Ha Ha on her.

Now don't worry, she isn't planning on "doing me in"- She's just keeping tabs on what happens. She was deeply concerned the new house would be sold if we die 'cause she wants to keep it. And she also checked before she went to bed if I would be getting up early with them today and if I needed tea made. Humm-- It did kinda taste funny ( just kidding MOM- do not call the police!)

Camden was listening in on the "live with us forever conversation" and chimed in with "I can live with you forever?" And I told him "Yes, but your wife is probably NOT going to want to live with ME." Just so he knows. She also may want to know in advance that red headed dude has some names chosen for his children. A boy and a girl, mind you- NOT 12 like us. But he does also say he wants to adopt. As do all our other kids, except those older ones who say they never want kids, that our home was the best form of birth control they were ever exposed to. (I just ignore them when they say that)

Anyhoo- back to Camden- and the naming of his children. (He's almost 11) Sam will be his boy. I'm cool with that. The girl? COMET. As in, the cleaner or the reindeer? I'm not sure, but I'm thinking she's (wife or daughter) not gonna be happy with that one.

Kat has taken to writing me little notes lately. I find them in funny places. My purse- it said "Mom, here's a flower that has a scuffball. You always call me scuffball. I love you. Make a wish." Then one in my car "Mom, you said we would not be still living in the trailer when we went back to school, what happened?" As if she wasn't here?? To see the waiting on people to do work?

It just cracks me up and I seem to find those notes when I need them most. She's really something. I've been so blessed in my daughters, all 3 of them- soon to be 4.

Speaking of #4 daughter o'mine, Fi Fi as Chance calls her. He can't seem to get Phoebe, so he calls her Fi Fi. It's taking forever to get all the requirements this agency wants completed. And we are having to do more because we will not beat the deadline for new regulations from Ch*na that start in Oct. It's tough when you know the ropes, know when people are taking too long to get things done and can't do a thing about it. It's not an agency we worked with before:( Not by our choice either.

I guess the hardest part is knowing that the end result is a little girl waiting even longer for her family and not being able to get things moving along. I'm not so good with that- although I am learning to wait on God's timing as it is perfect.

I may not understand it. But I don't have to. He is perfect. Never wrong. And as I look at each of the treasures He has brought us and when, I know that He does have perfect timing. It's not been an easy road with some, but it was the right road and they came to us when they were meant to, as will Fi Fi.

For now though, the biggest part of our crew is off learning and I'm ALONE for the first time in 3 MONTHS. The silence- it's nearly killing me. No one has asked what's for lunch from 10:30 am on,no one is in the bathroom when I need in. Even the dog is looking at me like "what happened??"

I just don't know how to handle all the QUIET!!