Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Eyes that see

Another week of eye stuff,  Camden gets his contacts (had to reschedule due to SNOW) and today had Phoebe's yearly eye exam for checking on nearsightedness/ glasses.

While her vision will always be severely affected her nearsightedness is not part of her lack of pigment. She just happens to be nearsighted. So it was great to hear that her eyes have not worsened and her glasses are still the right strength to help her see best.

I always enjoy taking just her to appointments because it's a rare chance to talk with her about life, things she's concerned about, and as always to marvel how far she has come in maturity, English skills and behaviors.

She actually stopped in the play area and said "I don't think I should play because I am not a little kid."  Now, when I assured her no one cared if she played with the toys and no one was looking at her funny, she was more than willing to go play:)

She's growing so much. 

She shared something Paisley said to her too.  Oh, my heart. Let me tell you....

It's a continual thing to make sure our older kids KNOW they are loved. They are wanted.  They were meant to be part of this family.

I don't think we can say it, show it, live it, ENOUGH.  It seems like a "no brainer" to US.  NOT to our children who were abandoned. 

Abandonment runs sooooo deep.  So very deep in their tiny souls and minds.  It breaks them in ways no one understands. And our love can, in a way create healing but it takes a ton of time.  A TON. So much time, and all of that time being consistent, steady, loving, caring for them without fail.

EVEN when they aren't pulling their weight. Paisley has struggled greatly with that.  I keep a close eye on her, knowing that every so often, it's time. Time for what?  Time to reel her BACK IN, to the loving fold of this family.  She TRIES to isolate herself. Pretend it doesn't matter if she doesn't participate with family stuff, or put forth any effort to be involved.

NOPE. It matters.  She matters. And I notice because that's being her mom.  She isn't behaving in a healthy manner and I call her on it.  And every time I do we are reinforcing that she matters.  She is loved. She is a wanted part of this family.

We are never wiping away ANY of our precious treasures added to our family by adoptions, abandonment stories.  NEVER. 

 That's going to be an issue if you adopt ANY child from orphanage care with an abandonment history because even an infant is going to grow up and at about 10 or so say "How did I get here?"  And figure out what being an orphan, abandonment, adoption MEANS.

And it's going to HURT.  There's no getting around that. Even if you think your child is easy going and it doesn't seem to bother them--- they have feelings about it.  And for some teens it's later because they come later and they struggle with this at different points of their adoptions.

I always tell them if I could have birthed them I would have. And I mean it. I would love to be able to gloss right over those rough and terrible realities of their beginnings in life. But that's not when God sent them to me and all I can do now is let them know I love them and always will, that I understand their life story hurts.

And encourage them to see the positive things God has given them since they ended up as orphans and how blessed we feel to have been allowed to add them to our family.  Each and every one of them chosen by God. Not to be orphans, no way--- but chosen after they had that happen to join our family as a second option.

Yes, second best.  We get that. Because "first best" was that they never be orphaned at all. 

And in their cases we are thankful each one of them  got us "second best" folks who love them with all our hearts:) God has gifted us with these precious ones and we continue to love, guide and prepare them for life as best we can all while enjoying them as much as possible too:)

Even this last girl pictured, who refused to put anything on her new room walls. So I did it for her.  She took everything back off and away. So I re decorated again and left her a note-- "Do not take things off walls."  She didn't take all off but most of it. I re decorated AGAIN (stop laughing MOM)  and left her second note-- "DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!  FINAL ANSWER. She still complained but as of today.... walls are decorated...... phew.  The BATTLES:)

If only everything in life was so simple, huh?

1 comment:

Dottie P said...

As with so many of your posts, I cried when I read this one.

Dottie