Monday, March 23, 2015

Celebrating Changes

We've had a lot going on around here.

Changes. All of them seem to be good too.  First we decided to change rooms for the 4 girls.  Now, understand, this does NOT come lightly.  We probably have some world record for the number of times we have changed out rooms for kids between the old house and this one. Between fostering and adopting it's happened A LOT.

 Matter of fact, few of the bedrooms are even painted in colors that wouldn't suit EITHER a boy or a girl and all the carpeting is neutral. 

We did that for a reason.  If we see a situation is not working out for the best of any child we can "mix things up" to find a better fit.  And as more and more time has gone by with the 2 younger girls not getting along, playing tricks (sometimes mean and dirty) on each other, creating as much trouble as possible for EACH OTHER, it became time to evaluate the best way to separate them.

It made me sad, quite frankly because as all mothers wish and dream our children will all get along wonderfully, we thought Kat would be a good example for Phoebe to follow and Phoebe would be happy to have a sister to follow the lead from.  WELL...... that's happened some. But some NOT.

Some of the immaturity, jealousy, competitive stuff was just, quite frankly, out of hand.

So we started at the beginning of the week and had to move mattresses, some furniture (we did not have to move beds this time-- phewwww!) and a ton of belongings for each girl to a "new to them" space.

Chloe was the least displeased. But for the good of the family we had to do it.  She ended up bunking in the biggest room with Paisley. For which I think it will do a world of good for her to be bunked with Chloe.  She also needs guidance from an older, well adjusted sister.  And that will happen now.

Kat went to Chloe's old room. Phoebe to Paisley's old room. Both rooms upstairs and on opposite ends of the house, but both within hearing range of parents. Which is already making huge impacts on the fighting/picking/ nonsense. Because so much less is able to be "pulled" when they have no NEED to be in the other one's room.  And if they want to play they certainly can, in a common area, also where eyeballs are seeing them.

Now, we are seeing HUGE leaps of progress from Phoebe. Because Kat was truly treating Phoebe like a sister... meaning she was picking on her, pulling tricks, only Phoebe isn't at Kat's level of maturity and she was ending up the "loser" in all the games which caused her to get mad, yell and more often than not, get in trouble.  NOT GOOD.

AND-----There's no more 50 times a day hearing "Kaaaaaaaatttttttttt stop!"  Right there made it worth everything!!!

Funny enough, we have had more trouble keeping them OUT of each other's new rooms than anything-- they do love each other and want to play with each other. It just has to be in a HEALTHY way. And now we can monitor that. So for now it's a WIN/WIN for all.

Other things we are celebrating changes of ---Miss Phoebe!! Another year older:)

Yep, on Friday she turned 11.  She woke up and found out there was a 2 hour delay that quickly turned in to a cancelled day of school.


 First day of spring and 6 inches of snow.  And we could hear birds happily chirping, even with the big snow fall.  So odd!

Phoebe was very happy it was her birthday and she dressed up in one of her fanciest dresses ALL day.  Even with no where to go:)

I knew she was disappointed to not get to go to school, so I curled her hair in anticipation for her Birthday Party that evening.  I had even made her an ice cream cake, she doesn't like regular cake so I learned another mom trick for ice cream loving/cake hating kids.  Making a homemade ice cream cake. She was thrilled.

She was very happy with all of her gifts, she got some MONEY, some clothes, a journal, a big body pillow.  She did so well with the whole "big day"-- that's a huge improvement of her behaviors, not melting down either before, during or after her birthday. She's growing so very much.

Such a lovely person she is. Just so special. We had her IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting this week which is to make sure all modifications are being made for her visual issues at school. Her cane instructor said he had to tell me what she said when she met him the first time.  "Do you know Jesus?"  Yes, that's our Phoebe. Jesus/ God means the WORLD to her.  She wants to be sure everyone knows Him.  She's a wonderful child of God and I am sure He is as proud of her preciousness as we are.

We also (told ya I get busy so don't worry if I can't find time to blog!) had Phoebe's low vision evaluation done. This was to make sure she is using the best devices for her visual needs. 

And although sometimes it's actually a little weird to be the "poster mom" of adoption from China ( you adoptive moms know what I mean) I've gotten a promise from the doc who did her evaluation that she will pray for guidance if adoption is for HER family.

She was very taken by Phoebe, she just has this way about her that draws people in.  An innocence and sweetness that can't be denied:)) 

So when I told her (of course I did!)  about adopting older kids and the NEED out there, she was very interested.  I figure if God wants to use this precious girl to get others on board to adopt then I certainly can't hinder that:)

The only changes we got from the low vision evaluation is that it's better for Phoebe to read WITHOUT glasses, up close.  Not enlarged. Not for tons of reading BUT for every day stuff, reading a menu, looking at a box for ingredients..... her glasses help her see distances and they don't help (actually they make it worse) for her trying to see up close.

So doc recommended she take them off to read close and it's not hurting her eyes. It's actually stuff she will do as an independent adult so it's teaching her how to handle life in the real world because as she said-- "No one is going to be following her around enlarging print for her." Which is true. And magnification is actually harder for her to see with the glasses on.

This made sense to us but was the first time it was mentioned to us. So it was an interesting appointment all around.

The  only other news I have is kids are sharing colds it seems-- Camden, Kat and Phoebe so far. No one sick enough to stay home or anything. Just colds, sneezing, runny noses. Phoebe was funny when she came to me this morning and said "Uh, I sneezed and for the first time EVER there was so much it landed on my jacket, should I still wear it?" 

Um, NO. How about we just wash that first, ok?  That's what's been happening around here with us, snot and all. 

 Sorry for grossing ya out:( 

1 comment:

K said...

Great update. We both have 11 yr. olds! I love the curls. At first I thought it was a wig.

We changed out bedrooms around recently, too. I got tired of my oldest keeping the next one down out of the jack and jill bathroom. Now that room is the common dressing room with all the dressers in it and some toys.

Being able to change rooms around as needs change I've discovered is paramount. It's extra easy for me to do with all girls, too.