Thursday, August 28, 2014

Another driver

Don't yell (MOM) I still haven't gotten to the last 5 elaborations from the "You shouldn't adopt older if...." post.

Quite frankly I am not feeling motivated so unless I hear differently from anyone needing me to go over the last 5, I'm going to leave it at this--

Adopting older is HARD. It takes tons of patience. It take tolerance. You have to be as prepared as you can be for the worst and then if you get an easy teen--- WHOOOO HOOOO! Congrats. If not, then you can fall back on all you learned and use it!

Yes, WE HAVE been through VERY tough times with certain children. For sure. I've fretted, I've lost sleep, I've cried, hubby and I have had many discussions about "What should we do differently? What is going to get through to them, Will they ever mature? Will they ever have a good future?"  It's taken A LOT for me (hubby is more laid back so it was mostly ME fretting) to LET GO and give it over to GOD.

Like most trials and difficulties-- God can and will get you through and with TIME every one of the "issues" with adjustment, bonding, cultural differences, ALL of it will get either better or you will learn to cope with it better.

FOR SURE. God doesn't call those equipped- He equips those HE calls:)

We stepped out in faith 6 times and with each one we have HAD to hand over to HIM the reins and have become better parents for doing that.  And as I have said many times they ARE teen treasures. So very worth it. Even the tough times, worth it.

We are on the "getting them there" side and it's a darned pretty sight to see:))

We want our treasures to thrive, to enjoy every possible benefit of being adopted in to our family as the true gifts that sharing their lives with us is to us.

Here's one thriving---

Another driving permit obtained today......Mr. Chance this time. He's so proud of himself but in true Chance fashion he had to let on he didn't pass to everyone--- such a stinker, he is.  A fun stinker though.

Other news, I did meet the new ESL teacher. She seems very nice and very interested in helping the teens. (Phoebe has a different ESL teacher in elementary level) I've heard nothing from the kids and am figuring no news is good news in this case.

Usually they come to me fussing if they are worried about assignments/classes being too hard or they aren't understanding things and don't feel they will have the help they need. So we will see how it goes.

We did have 2 kiddos banged up, well, 4 if you count field hockey (Chloe) and football (Camden) bruising-- but the 2 others-- Derrik took a dive over the front handlebars of his bike on his way home from work and got a mild concussion.  He landed on his FACE-- ouch.  

And Chance--  I got a call yesterday to come get him-- he tore a FLAP (ouch) off a finger tip-- the pad part of the finger, in a machine in Vo Tech.  Said something was in the machine that wasn't supposed to be there and he reached in to get it out-- it wasn't able to be stitched because the flap won't have enough blood flow to survive- but it definitely is big enough to hurt quite a bit till it heals.

I HAVE to tell you where I was when the school called ----I was off enjoying my new little buddy..... (I will ask his momma if I can post a picture of him)

I've become an Ayi!!!(Auntie) to the CUTEST little man from CHINA.... a dear new friend in our very rural area announced she was adopting from China and everyone she told said "You gotta talk to" {this family with all these Chinese kiddos} 

Which was US, of course, and we have been excitedly waiting for months now to see this little guy come home.

I was hanging out with him while his momma got caught up on a few things, oh does he remind me of Kat when we first brought her home. So precious:)

 He's funny--when he got tired of me he said "Ayi, bye bye." Trying to get rid of me- ha ha. He's smart too (figured out how to scroll through my phone pics) and just adorable.

 So happy to see another little family made by the blessing of adoption.  It never ceases to be a blessing to behold:)

Tomorrow we head out for the much anticipated consultation of Paisley's hips being replaced.  Send up a prayer for her, this will be a major surgery for her. Hopefully we will have more info on when/ one hip or both, etc.  Once this appointment is over.........


Vicky Chan said...

Just wanted to leave a quick little note to say how much I enjoy watching your kiddos grow and adjust and settle into your family. Long time reader.... And I agree with you completely about the teen adoption issues. My husband and I had always known we would adopt when it came time to start our own family (or have a mix of adopted and biological children). We currently have a 13-year-old girl who has been with us since Valentine's Day who is in the foster-to-adopt program. Not an international adoption with the language barrier, but many of your points definitely still apply here. :)

- Vicky

Terry said...

I have one adopted teen from China(but 3 grown bio and 2 younger adopted). She was supposed to be 13 at the time of adoption but turned out to be 17. Big difference and big surprize. But she behaved like a 5 year old... but I'm sure you are well versed on that one :) That was 3 1/2 years ago. She has truly blossomed. But our biggest struggle every day is still communication. She has learning difficulties, never learned to read, and obvious language issues. She is actually, as she says, 20, almost 21 years old. But legally now 17. I try to hold her to 20 but I'm happy if I get 17 :) She lost so many of her younger years that I now think it's nice she's been given a reverse of 3/4 years lol! But bonding to an "adult" child has not been easy for me at all. I can honestly say I have failed in many ways. And her fixation on me only proved to make it more difficult. I pray every day that God will fill the holes that have been left in her heart. And I know that God has called us to this. She is becoming an amazing young woman. With mind blowing resilence. So we take one day at a time. Learning to love as Jesus loves.