Thursday, April 3, 2014

It's a cell...........

And it's still not a jail cell (MOM).  Nope another cake. Remember Paisley's cell cake last year? Well, follow up with a brother a grade behind and guess what he had for an assignment this year?

Although I'm pretty sure he ATE most of the candy meant for the cake, *might* have even fudged mom and dad about what all candy he needed for this cake because he had me get some, then dad get some MORE...... and he was eating an awful lot of those "leftovers" while laughing, and it just seemed, well----- FISHY.

And I don't mean little red gummy fish either CAMDEN.  Keeping my eye on you SONshine. Yes, I am.

I also noted the remains of the cake looked suspiciously as if it had been used for a FOOD FIGHT..... along with some remains in a certain someone's hair. No phone calls from school YET, so whatever happened to it apparently was not enough to warrant a call home.  I didn't ASK, don't want to know.......

Chance came home with a funny looking dude, no, not his brother Chase. (Can you believe he let me take this picture of him?)

A fake head/part body dude that he carried around saying "Anyone know CPR around here?" I *thought* about pretending otherwise, since I am a nurse after all, but apparently it didn't occur to him that I would have training to save a life via CPR?

Once I fessed up he came and showed me his "technique." OIY.  I told him I was gonna be mad when he broke all my ribs if I ever collapse and they let him do CPR on me.  Don't worry (MOM) he was NOT offended, matter of fact he was laughing so hard he could hardly do the CPR.

I've been trying to figure out what Chloe wants from me.

She said "Mom, I want something." And I said "Don't we all?" 

 And she said "Yeah, but I'm your daughter, you wanted me and I came and I became your daughter like you wanted, so I think I should get things I want." 

 As she's smiling her beautiful smile the whole time she is claiming this.

And I said to her, "I became your mother because you wanted a mother and maybe I should get things too?"  That made her laugh and reply "But I'm a kid, I have things I want to have." 

She's working up to asking for something, probably won't be anything too big or crazy but that's my Chloe, she's testing the waters before she leaps:)

 Gosh, I love that girl... she makes me smile.  I DID note that she didn't say "I NEED things."

It's funny but I have been noticing lately how different/ far the kids have come. From being unable to know how to ask for something, to thinking they were being denied things they SHOULD have, to understanding life is NOT a fairy tale, and what is reasonable to even ask for. 

Some huge issues with adopting teens can be the feelings on the part of not just US, as parents, but other kids, other adults thinking our kids "SHOULD" have/be doing things that are normally considered with their ages.  When in, fact, our kids have 2 ages.  Their number age and their maturity age.  And we have to go by the MATURITY age.

It's not an insult to our children. No way. It's a PROTECTION for them.  Because they are NOT a typical 16, 17, 19 year old young person. I almost feel like I should say "this is Chloe, she's 17/ 15."  Because that's where she is.  And it's really okay, because firstly ages were guessed in China.  So there's no way to know for sure she is 17. 

The lack of life experiences, common sense not being fostered in orphanage care, delays from orphanage care, the adjustment to a new culture/language/parents/home/foods/schools--- even time home--- all these things factor in to where their maturity lies.

And yes, they are "catching up."  They have come very far from when we first met all of them.

It's interesting to see Paisley right about where Chloe was at almost 2 years home with us.

 And Chloe much further ahead, home 5 years. It shows us we are on the right road with them even when it is HARD to explain  to others. 

We get things like---"She's 16, oh, will she be driving soon?"  Now my answer will not reflect what runs through my brain because I say "Oh, she's not ready yet, she needs better English to take the test."  Meaning she needs more time.

My brain is thinking "People ARE YOU CLUELESS?  Would you put a 9 year old behind the wheel of a car?" Do you want to be on the road with a child who says, "Just run them over" when someone is going too slow?

(Disclaimer-- this is ALL of them, I'm not fingering out just the one who happens to be 16 now and not saying it to "put any of them down" it's just the fact of the adjustments and difficulties of being adopted as a teen.) 

It's tough when they *think* because the other kids have this or that, that they shouldn't have it too. One thing that does help with this, along with just being SOOOO much better for our kids was placing them so much lower in school.  Yes, I totally get that schools want to place a 16 year old in 10th or 11th grade.  Ours is in 8th grade. And she fits there just right.

It's not going to do anything but HELP her and the others to have EXTRA school time.  You see, we started at square one, not a lick of English for any of them. And it's a struggle for ANY of them to "catch up."

  So adding on school years for them to get an education base is a WIN/WIN.

Anyway-- here's some more pictures of Paisley, doing one of her favorite things- reading a book.

This is her favorite chair too, she "hangs out" in it most every day, in the afternoons it had the sun shining right in on her, thus it's probably the "warmest seat in the house." For her arthritis, this is a GOOD place to be, in the warm:)

And Chance, again, looking like he's up to something:)

He's not. Just sorting out pencils, dad brought home  2 packs of 10 pencils and there are 7 children here, how many should each person GET?  

I fixed that issue--- I take the "extras", that way no one can get upset that someone else "got more than them."

The bean counting again------ taking stock, making sure no one else is gettin' ahead.


Don't worry (MOM) we are used to it.

 It doesn't make us toooooo crazy:)   


Maria said...

I hear ya with the maturity! Our 9 year old has been home 1 year and she is sooooo a toddler. Soap bubbles in the school bathroom, fingers headed for outlets and cash registers have so many cool buttons. The looks we get! It's a crazy journey, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Jessim said...

It's really interesting learning more about your family and adopting older kids!

The cell cake made me laugh. We had to make edible cells in middle school- 95% of the class made a cake. I made a salad! Mmmmm...radish ribosomes.

Sherri said...

The multi-age thing. It's actually kind of cool. It's almost like they are several ages at the same time. Seeing them grow and gently settle's beautiful...thank you for sharing your life with us.

K said...

Yep, I'm living with the multi-age thing in three kids at the same time. Sometimes they are 2, other times 4, rarely 15, 13 and 10.