Friday, May 24, 2013

A red car

It's been quite the busy week for the girls, we had an eye doctor appointment for Phoebe this Tuesday. Her eyesight has improved by over half, with her glasses-- YEAH!!

Now don't get me wrong, her eyesight is still not great. Matter of fact she was struggling in school with trying to make friends outside of Kat, because she needs to have some independence from Kat but it was apparent that she can't tell the difference of the kids in her class until she is so close that she is in "their personal space."  

So the teacher and I came up with having the kids wear name tags around their necks for the rest of the year, big ones, with their name, picture, in a certain shape for each child so Phoebe can  learn names, shapes, and who is who.

I have asked to meet with the next year teacher to help with her understanding of Phoebe's needs before the new year starts as well.  It will be hard again next year since the kids will change in the class, some of them, not all though.

I explained to her present teacher that Phoebe has to use smell, size, hair length, voices, etc to figure out who is who and in a class of 16 it's harder than at home where she can place us differently by size, where we sit, boy/girl, etc.

It's funny because I worried before Phoebe came when another blondie's mom said her girl couldn't tell who she was from across a room. I thought it would bother me terribly with Phoebe. Yet, she is like this, and it doesn't. It's just a part of caring for her, she says "Mom." And I say "Right here", or "over here" till she finds me. I look out for her knowing she can't be sure if it's me when we go somewhere, like shopping and I see her turn away and another woman is near-- she gets a "Mom is here, Phoebe" before she can even try to look at the other woman.

I realize how having Paisley first prepared me well for Phoebe.  God is so great like that:) Because she was the first "health needy" child we adopted I learned quickly to look out for her, if there are a lot of steps, if we have to go in and out many stores, that she not be expected to carry heavy things.  So being aware for Phoebe is an extension of that and doesn't bother me at all.

Phoebe amazes me with her own resourcefulness, she will FIND a way if there is something she wants to do. 

 Unlike a certain Baby Girl who has decided when she is told "NO" she can not eat dog food, rip my plant apart, she will SCREAM at me--- I kid you not, she has a temper! But I don't back down so she gives in. Gotta teach her some self control.  

Another thing she screams at me for?  Handing her a sippy cup.  Ohhhh, the anger.  Bawling, spitting, yelling, dirty looks, cup throwing fits, I tell ya. Give-me-a -bottle-or-else look. OIY. She's gonna be fun to bottle break- yeah.

Two bottom teeth now, she bit me this week. Scared me (and hurt) and I screamed,  which scared her and she cried:(  She took a step here and there toward me this week and is standing without holding on for brief periods of time.

Growing up wayyyy too fast, like they all do.  A special thanks to Kim for the taggies blankets and caterpillar, it was too funny that Baby girl found the TAG on the caterpillar first and tore in to it with her new teeth:) Baby girl loves all the tags!!

But back to us in the car this morning--as I took  Kat and Phoebe to school  early for a special field trip, Phoebe said "When me bigger, me want red car." And I knew she meant she wanted to have and drive a red car:(  

Because unless some amazing technology comes out, she most likely will not be able to drive. Her vision is just not good enough. She missed out on some time that her brain could have been working with the right glasses or even surgery to help her vision improve as a younger child.

And I told her the truth. I said "Phoebe, your eyes are probably not good enough to drive a car."  I told her that she "might" be able to but as it looks right now she will not be able to.  And she said "What? Me no drive red car?-- Why? That not okay." And the kicker that had me laughing--- "Okay, I buy car, Kat drive me."

(See the look on baby girl's face? I don't think she approves of Kat's driving skill?)

But that Phoebe girl. She's got solutions for everything. I'm telling ya, nothing is going to hold her back. Kat chimed right in and said "Yes, Phoebe, I will drive and I will take you wherever you want to go."

And so Phoebe, the planner of all, says, "We buy house Kat, live me and you and Grandma (Her foster mom) and Po Po ( Kat's foster mom), we live together.

Kat told Phoebe (thinking she meant in China), "No, I want to live here, not in China."  And Phoebe said "Yes, here, we go China get Po Po and grandma and they come here."

The girl's got it ALL figured out. Kat was totally on board with that--and the last thing said  (Phoebe) "Oh, lots and lots of money, phewwww. I don't know, where get money."

I'm telling you, it's really something to hear the plans of two 9 year old girls, and think of what the future can hold for them.  

2 girls who started out abandoned, in the streets of China, unwanted for reasons we can't begin to fathom.  And now to hear them plan to drive, buy a house together, to go for their "grandmas" and bring them here to live and care for them----- WOW. It's just the MOST amazing and beautiful thing.

They made my day, as they do many days, these 2 precious daughters o' mine.  To know they will not face day after day of orphanage care, being labeled unwanted, unlucky, taunted for being an outcast of their society. Nope, not these 2. 

These two girls, I am so blessed to call my daughters will be helping people. I have no doubt whatever they do in life it will be to help others. Phoebe because she knows what it's like to need help and not get it. Kat because she is who she is. Just a loving and wonderful child of God.

Such a super age, those nine year olds, I'm learning so much about them as people, what they like, their thoughts, personalities, dreams. 

I love the dreams especially for all my adoptive  kids because I know that before they HAD-NO-DREAMS. They wanted to survive. They did not look to "What will I do when I grow up." Because overwhelmingly they had to worry about "Will I survive today?"

And now for 6 beautiful children that God created, that ended up in orphanages or in orphanage care through no fault of their own-- these kids get to have it all. The sky is the limit for them. 

God brought them to us,  gave us great honor in letting us parent them and watch them go on each of their paths. Guiding them, loving them, sharing our lives with them.

I can't think of anything else in my life more rewarding than that- not even a little red sport car of Phoebe's:) Although, I bet she let's me borrow it.  

Won't I look funny, her grey haired momma flying down the road:) Watch out world, here we come----------------------------wave hi if you see us:)


lalalorlor said...

Awww! My daughter is the same way - just she wants a yellow car. Her TVI told me if she ever saw my daughter driving that she would turn me in to DCS for child abuse!

Does Miss Phoebe qualify for Braille instruction? Her chances of doing well in school are better if she doesn't have to depend of her eyesight - the eye strain of trying to see everything even when it is enlarged increases as a low vision child moves up in grades and the print just keeps getting smaller.


Dottie P said...

There is nothing that advocates more for adoption than your blog posts. I cry with almost every one.


Dottie P said...

There is nothing that advocates more for adoption than your blog posts. I cry with almost every one.


Patty said...

Wait just a that *almost* a smile on Chase's face? He always reminds me of our son in his other pics with that look of "fine, i'll stand here but I'm not even gonna pretend I'm happy about it", but in this picture there is almost a little grin! Yay!

Patty said...

Oh so now I scroll down and see the Mother's Day photo with a smile!!! I don't check in for a few weeks and see what I miss! That is so great!