Friday, February 1, 2013

Doll Babies

Who can resist a girl and her doll? Or girls and dolls? 

See MY doll babies? Yep, I can say babies because we have regressed to baby status x 2. Not only can Princess Phoebe do very little for herself, Kat has now regressed to needing babied. I dressed them BOTH today. 

OIY. I'm wondering if there should be some time frame once home till children can start regression or issues. Call it "Jet lag relief?" Maybe? Because I am still feeling at least once a day as if I am going to pass out if I don't lay down and getting up at odd hours in the night. 

Just last night I laid down on the couch in the midst of 5 children playing and zonked AT 6 PM. Not just slept, ZONKED OUT-- hubby said he shook me, tried to wake me for some time and was worried that I wasn't getting up. (Note to hubby- unimportant question you woke me for-- well, I'm just sayin'-- REALLY?  I've heard people get HURT over less things in life.)

Any jet lag remedies you all know send them my way FAST, because I don't have time for that.

Not in the midst of all this adjustment.  

Princess Phoebe decided that we didn't get her jammies on fast enough the other night and she got her shoes and coat on? Not sure WHERE she thought she was going in the freezing cold? Yes, the  snow AND drama is deep here. 

Last evening it was Kat.  Bringing up something I knew would be an issue around this age. Her "REAL" mom.  Yep. That's what she said.  

And after I took 2 deep breaths and said "I AM YOUR REAL MOM." We got into how China's culture is totally different than here. That all our Chinese born children have the same issue, they had a birth mom who could not keep them. That could not take care of them.

That in Chinese culture you must pay up front to get medical care, your child can die while you try to get money to get them treated. It's a different way of life there. 

And I give them all the same talk-- if I had to choose between keeping a child I gave birth to but that child would certainly die from not getting the medical care they needed and giving up that child so they could hopefully get the care they need and maybe get adopted and loved so much by a "second mom" then what would they think I would choose?

And my smart kids have all understood this. I would do the same thing their birth mom did. Give them a chance to LIVE. Pray that God would care for them, that they would get a family and hope for the best for them.  

That I do not take getting  to parent them lightly, I am sooooo thankful God gave us each one of our special and wonderful Chinese born children because He picked each one for us to parent and become part of our family.

I make sure they know too, that in China it's a HUGE issue when they can't care for a child and they CAN'T tell anyone they abandoned their child. 

They would get in huge trouble, so we can't find a birth mom for anyone. And that their birth moms are sure to wonder, think of them, hope that everything turned out okay. 

Because I would never forget a child I gave birth to even if I never saw them ever again and I am sure neither does their birth moms.

And that we do not love them any less than their birth mom could. Because they were chosen to be our children by GOD. And we see them as a wonderful gift in our lives and family.

One of the plus things we do have, all of our Chinese children have the same "history." All had some medical/family issue that we can point back to and say this was probably the reason choices were made.

So that was handled for now, I have NO DOUBT  we will revisit that again. It's part of parenting these great kids, giving them the understanding of their beginning. Without shame, without blame. It's such a different culture/mindset.

So now everyone is dressed, off to school, except Phoebe, no school for her yet.  She is pleased as punch I bought her Cap'n Cr*nch Berries-- too funny though, she calls it "crackers" as a "snack." I know the other kiddos said cereal is a snack in China, not a daily food. Please don't tell Camden that- he will be devastated:)

Enjoying my "baby girls" today, because even through the tough stuff they are soooo very worth it. Loved, cherished, wanted. Treasures:)


Sherri said...

Great post! And beautiful girls I may add.

thesleepyknitter said...

Sounds like Phoebe is settling in!

This issue of the birth parent conversation concerns me for our children, who have three dramatically different situations ranging from as "positive" as it could possibly get (under the circumstances) to a very negative situation. Since there is so much jealousy between two of our children, I am nervous about the disparity between their stories and circumstances. Praying for wisdom! Sounds like you handled it well and wisely at your house.

Brenda said...

One word MELATONIN Go to GNC and get some fast! Two more...vitamin D...go out in the sun if you can do it without freezing! It made a huge difference my last trip AND the ped let me give it to Sarah 10 years old on Gotcha to help her adjust to her jet lag and a whole new time zone.....Your doing GREAT! One more week and you'll be yourself again~

Brenda said...

One word MELATONIN Go to GNC and get some fast! Two more...vitamin D...go out in the sun if you can do it without freezing! It made a huge difference my last trip AND the ped let me give it to Sarah 10 years old on Gotcha to help her adjust to her jet lag and a whole new time zone.....Your doing GREAT! One more week and you'll be yourself again~

TheGreatMiaAdventure said...

Beautiful post! Thank you. I'm saving for THAT day.

Rebecca said...

For the jet lag... Try taking melatonin about 30 minutes before bedtime and try to push through that 6:00 PM crash and make it to 8:00 bed time. We only had about 4 or 5 days of wanting to go to bed at 6. The melatonin helps you stay asleep at night without waking and feeling wide awake. You may still wake up around 3:00AM but you'll be able to fall back to sleep.
It seems to me like you're getting all of the regression over with early on. That's not so bad:) get it over with and move on. I'll bet it doesn't last long.
The whole bio mom thing hasn't been discussed yet with Ashlyn. Of course it's way too soon, but I agree with your perspective completely. You know those birth moms grieved that loss. And after seeing "Somewhere Between", I'm guessing maybe the bio dads do too. Today is Abby's actual birthday. We know this bc her birth mom left a note. It's precious to me. I prayed for her today... That The Lord would reveal to her that her prayers have been answered. I pray that one day we may meet in heaven... And we too love our new girls every bit as much as we love our bio kids. It's NO different AT ALL. God is so so good, isn't He?

Rebecca said...

Btw, I LOVE the dolls!!! And your precious babies:)

Dottie P said...


What a beautiful post. I cry at many of your posts, but the compassion you have for those birth moms just makes me weep. If Christians would always be so compassionate and less judgmental,the world would take notice.
Praying for your jet lag to disappear, and thanking God for your patience with the adjustments.

Jody Forsythe said...

Vickie!!! We went to school together decades ago...ok....years was just yesterday!! I am amazed that you have been blessed with so many beautiful children!! I love reading your blog!! Tried to e~mail you....but this site won't let me. :(

Vickie said...

JODY!!!! Decades? You aren't supposed to tell that! and YES, we are sooo blessed!!

Vickie said...
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