Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Whaaaaa

That's me whining.  'Cause apparently making fun of my mother's bleachin' (I said BLEACH mother) ways is obviously a HUGE no-no. 


Because for days now I have been heavily acquainted with our couch.  So much so, that poor Chase's 17th  birthday went by in a blur of  me sleeping, dizzy, vomiting and no cake.  Yep, slacker sick mother that I am, I did not get a cake, bake a cake, quite frankly CARE if there was a cake.  Dad stepped in and took the kiddos to eat out Chinese buffet, of course.  No cake there either.  Guess I'll play make up this weekend when Chloe is back.


Haven't missed her either, who has time when your whole awakened state is "If I lay still enough can I avoid puking? " Didn't work-- SICK I tell ya. No fun in my world.


I guess it's one way to pass the time my girl is unreachable in the jungle, although I'm NOT recommending it to anyone to try.  I do know I am on the mend, I'm getting longer periods of not sleeping although the dizziness is quick to return when I think I can do this or that- any one of the hundreds of things I should have been doing over the last 2 days instead of being out of it. 


I wasn't TOO out of it yesterday when Kat brought me the mail and our return document mailer was in there.  I thought.  'Cause I opened it and it wasn't OUR document at all.  Someone else's birth certificate I've never heard of.  OIY.  So I called the Dept of State and left a message, to which they responded immediately. Faster than I thought.  


And they assured me although they had sent us some unknown child's birth certificate, they had NOT sent our Home Study off to someone else. PHEWW.  They had it and it will be certified and overnighted to arrive today along with a mailer to return the unknown-to-us child's birth certificate with no charge to us.  Thank God for that. 


I also got in the mail, a letter I already got one copy of for Chance, this was the same thing from the school for Chloe and it hadn't been stamped so it was "postage due?"  Uh, hello?  Not amused by that people. Our heavily paid tax money for our public school is going WHERE?  I mean, really?


I didn't even get pictures of my newly 17 year old son, I did say something at one point about it, I know I did, yet when I was clear headed enough to look at my camera these were the only new, not-taken-by-me, pictures?  Not one of the birthday boy? Not that Miss Kitty and Chance aren't as cute as the dickens.


But I guess it's true when mom is down the house goes to pot.  (Not the illegal stuff MOM) 


Let's hope and pray that my bug is going, going, gone and I can be back on top of my game asap.  I *think* the family misses me:)  I do know Dad is happy I am on the mend, when I asked him to bring me wonton soup and 7 up after he gets off work today as I am feeling better he texted "SWEET."  Isn't he just too funny?  Either that or he's hoping I do those dishes they left piled up before he gets home? HUMMMM, I just don't think that's gonna happen.


I'm going back to the couch now:(  

Friday, February 24, 2012

Here I am

Well, here I am.  On a Friday evening in my jammies before it's even dark. Nope, not sick (mom don't call and tell me bleach the dishes and  doorknobs)  just bone tired.

I worked extra this week, like a ton extra, all while trying to keep the house running smoothly, making sure everyone had clean unders in case anyone was in an accident. (see MOM I did hear you) Not that anyone was. Nope.

B-U-S-Y has been my middle name.  My Brandon turned 23 this week.  Oh, where have the years gone?   My little Bonkie no longer.  

Our niece invited us out to dinner to celebrate Chloe's 3 year Gotcha Day, yep, 3 years ago I met this slip of a girl who was doing her best to blend into the floor, she was soooo scared.  Then to have me ask who she was found with and have me tell her the unthinkable news that we DIDN'T KNOW she had brothers and we WOULD come back for them. OIY, I can only imagine how she felt.  

She asked for a stuffed panda for her day and she was thrilled when mother pulled off getting her one.  She only changed what she wanted about 10 times in the last month! So the last minute bear was no small feat.

Besides her fickle ways, she's come so far:)  We all have.  But on her Gotcha Day Anniversary, yesterday I loaded her up and took her to meet the bus to go to Costa Rica on a church mission trip.  Yes, I sent my new daughter to the jungle.

I'm gonna tell ya too.  I lost it.  When she said "I don't think I want to go" on the way to the bus, I started crying.  And I'm not a crier.  But I cried the whole time they were loading up, I cried the whole way home and I cried myself to sleep. I can't believe I let her go.

Now, before you all tell me what a wonderful thing she is doing, I think I've lost my mind.  I mean, what was I thinking sending my kid off to the JUNGLE? My little girl? (I did send her with PLENTY of snacks)

She has called me twice, she asked if I was "okay."  I told her I  was even though I'm not so sure.  9 days.  NINE WHOLE DAYS till she is back.

It *might* get a little teary over here:(

In other news-- paperwork for Phoebe is moving along. Sent off stuff to the state for certifications.  And although I am not a believer of LUCK, I do believe in God's encouragement and every time I work on papers for Phoebe I see a little lady bug.  

They are known as "good luck" in Chinese adoptions, so a sighting is supposed to be a big thing.  We aren't over run with them, at least not yet, and no matter how cold it has been a lady bug has appeared as I work on the papers.

So there's our week in review. Lots going on. Sorry to make you all wait to get the news.  Forgive me (MOM)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Middle of the night

Here it is the middle of the night.  What am I doing up?  Beats me. (Every time I say that near Chloe she says "What? You want me to beat you?")


I just thought it would be fun to post again today, since I seem to be on a roll. Did you notice?  A post every day for DAYS.  Not gonna mention they were about ME, not a hint of what these kiddos are up to. I won't make you guess who pointed that out. MOM


So what ARE these kids up to? Well, Chance got snotty and had to apologize over something dumb.  Hey. At least he is LEARNING to apologize, and not pout for days.  He LISTENED (might want to jot that date down for the record) when I told him things happen, he goes wrong, apologize and move on.


Since he did "man up" he got to go skating last night with the rest of the crew.  I declined the invitation to stand and watch them and instead took one Miss Kitty to the store for some Mommy time.


Kat and I had a really good time, she was singing all through the check out and so happy over a pack of gum she got, I said "Wow, I can't recall the last time a pack of gum made me that happy:)"  


The happiness continued when we got a "Happy Meal" and it's amazing how cheap one kid is to feed junk food.  I mean, I would probably never cook if we had just one. Another reason we were meant to be larger than life:) Goodness, she even got a cute little bear with her meal.  It just doesn't get much better in Miss Kitty's world.


Unless her sister was home, that is.  We talked quite a bit about Phoebe, and Kat seems to have a really good understanding that sister might not be a loving and kind sister at first.  She could just be sad, scared, mad, not want to share. I was comforted to know Kat seems to realize Phoebe's potential issues and also has a grasp on it not being her fault or a reason to not like Phoebe.  She will need time.


We go over this so that we are prepared as much as possible and are able to let Kat see what she can expect and what we will do if things aren't rosy at first. Kat is very anxious and excited to get her sister HERE.


What did Kat and I buy at the store?  I know you didn't ask but I'm gonna tell ya.  'Cause it's stuff for Chloe to go on her mission trip.  I haven't mentioned it because honestly I was trying to pretend it wasn't coming so fast.  She leaves in a WEEK.  Less than a week now.  AHHHHHH.  I'm seriously wondering how I'm not going to freak out. At least it won't be because Chloe doesn't have bug spray, hand sanitizer, or a rain poncho. Check, check and check.  


She leaves on her 3rd anniversary of Gotcha. She keeps adding years on to that, last week she said "It's 4 years since Gotcha, right mom?"  This week she said "I've been home 5 years so I can go to mission trip, right mom?"  Along with trying to convince us she is really going to be 17 last week and 18 this week on her next birthday, we just say "yeah, right, Chloe.(insert mom's sarcasm here) And she smiles and says "I'm right?"


As right as rain, daughter o' mine.


She told my niece she wanted her to get married so she could be her "wise man."  When we figured out she meant "bridesmaid" and corrected her she said "yeah, yeah, whatever" and didn't bat an eye as she said again, "I want to be someone's wise man."  


Chase had a friend over to go skating with them.  Nice kid, he said we had a beautiful home as we drove off to meet the church group going skating.  And I pointed out the trailer we lived in for 4 months, till the house was done.  And I casually said "We lived there till it was done, 2 bedrooms, no TV, no phone, no internet."  Oh, how far we have come.  Remember the summer of agony trying to get this place done?  And now it's "Oh, 4 months, doesn't seem like it was too awfully long."  How soon we forget.  Must be like those labor pains and why I have such a big family- ha ha ha.


For once, the kids all went and no one came back crying, mad, injured or upset.  We could hardly believe it.  Matter of fact, we questioned all of them.  It just doesn't happen.  Now trust me when I say I will hear something by Sunday for sure.  No way we sent 5 of them off to somewhere without one of us and nothing happened.  Nothing at all.  Do they think we are silly enough to believe that? From our crew?


Chase's friend mentioned that he never talks to Chase about his past. Ever.  I told him he should, it wouldn't hurt anything, it might help Chase.  That we know our children came with a past and have told them nothing they did, or that happened to them in the past changes how we feel about them.  Part of healing and moving forward for our teen treasures is coming to grips with their past and accepting that it was what it was.


Can't change it.  Can't go back and do it over. Don't have to be ashamed of it.  I've seen Chloe get there. It's painful for them for sure, but making sure they know God loves them and we love them no matter what seems to help them with that acceptance. 


The crew are off school today and Monday.  No big plans, mainly just getting Chloe packed up and ready to go- sniff, sniff.


Momma's gonna miss her girl. So thankful though that she is going on a mission to show God's love to others.  WOW.  Who would have thought 3 years ago when I got the shock of my life adopting her that we would be here today?  This girl is GOING places. 


We are so blessed by her and are proud to call her our DAUGHTER.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Well now

Now that I feel loads lighter and I have tons of options to consider I'll share the conversation of said mother who does not listen (YOU MOTHER)


Mom-  "What is wrong with you? Are you going to become a crazy jailbird?" 


Me- "Well, it would take care of us adopting again."


Mom- "Don't make me come up there."




Hubby laughed his head off, then got amazingly quiet.  Then he said "What crime will you commit?"
did he really just ask me that?


So unless Lolly and Polly skip on over here and give me some ideas, I've decided to just hang on for this rollercoaster ride of adoption and stay on the straight and narrow to keep mom from coming  My heart will remain with the not-yet-chosen children, my prayers will be for God to show people these children (like He did us) and make the costs mean nothing compared to the love and awe you feel when you KNOW this is your son/daughter.


'Cause my issues were- I can't hurt anyone, it's not in me.  I can't steal, it's just wrong.  I can't do drugs or anything else like that, not my style. My poison is chocolate unless they make it illegal.


Maybe parking tickets? But I live in the country.  Not a meter in sight?  


Now the declared nuts, I'm thinkin' that would be an easier one to go with. I mean, 12 kids, something has gotten to have gone during the raising of all these buggers?  Why not my sanity?


 Whatcha think?


MOM-- we are JOKING-- 


something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially becauseof being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation,or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce:Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.


Just for you mom, the definition, and really you COULD lighten up. 
Love, your wayward daughter.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Irked

I'm irked.  I struggled with sharing this, I don't often dwell on any negative of  adoption because it is what it is.  You do the paperwork, you feel honored to bring home a precious child, for us a win-win situation.  


But I find as we are traveling this journey a last time (and it is the last time)  stop laughing mom that the steps this time are different.  Or maybe I am just looking at them differently. I'm not sure which it is.  


The negatives bugging me?  The fees.  And I don't mean we are asking for $. Nope. Nor do I mean that we do not believe God will not provide for Phoebe's adoption. HE WILL.  Of that I have no doubt.


I just can't believe that we are required to pay a fee and be fingerprinted, as if our prints have changed from the last 4 times we did them?  I mean, really?  And in  the added time of getting our Home Study done, we are now under the requirements of Post Placement reports for 5 years, pre paid before we can go get Phoebe.  


Now I have no issue sharing how our child is doing for 5 years, none at all.  My issue is with the fee, I mean, what if the agency isn't even AROUND 5 years from now that we paid the PP report fees to?  It's not like that doesn't happen, we have had 2 agencies we used, one gone, one no longer doing China adoptions.


And we heard recently the orphanage fee has gone up. 


I'm annoyed. Not because Phoebe's adoption has steps, has fees, because  to us, she is priceless.  As are ALL of the children who need families.


It's my fear that wonderful, God led families will be discouraged, will not see past the fees as they continue to increase.  This in turn could keep more and more families from children who need them.  Good families.  Wonderful moms, caring dads who have tons of love to give. That may never get the chance to BE family.


Children, it's supposed to be about the children. And for us, it IS. It's about getting our girl.  It's about following God's call, to care for the orphans.  


I always share with people who say "we can't afford it", that there are steps to the fees, most all are NOT required right away so you can save, plan, etc. to make it happen, when some think it is an impossible step to take.  And that we trust completely in God to get us to our girl.


It just seems that someone should be able to pull up our fingerprints and that be that.  Report fees should be due when the reports are being DONE.  I don't get paid before I go to work? Do any of you?


It seems like the focus isn't on the children, the ones who matter here.  
And that irks me.  To my very soul.  I KNOW God's plan is for orphaned children to be loved, to be in a family, for us to answer His call.  So I don't like to see things that  deter people in any way from that plan.


I don't have any choice or say (other than on this blog o' mine) to change any of this, I *wish* I did. And I totally get the safeguards in place to make sure children get good parents/families, that people have to get paid to do the paperwork, etc. 


I just know that I don't want anyone to feel they can't go forward for a child, a precious one who NEEDS to be loved, to feel WANTED, to have a name that shows they have a family--and for things to come down to fees like this just screams WRONG to me. 


I'm not sure why this is weighing so heavy on my mind.  I really don't. I just know that children shouldn't lose getting a family because of MONEY.  It's not what God wants.


Since I don't have any quick answers to solve this issue (or world peace either) I'll ask you all how you feel about this? 


And to all you who laughed when I said this is our last, please go check out Lolly and Polly advice of the day.(All but you mom, you won't get it, trust me)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy V day

Someone said to me one time- you don't ever have TOO many people who love you or for you to  love.  
Gosh, I have so many I love and who love me:)  Isn't that wonderful? 


I hope all of you feel loved today and every day.  Because you are, LOVED.


Here's how I show my love- I SHARE my chocolate.  BIG deal around here:))



My family will not doubt they are very loved that is if they have any of those m&m's left by the time they come home.


I'll try to contain myself. It's gonna be tough.


Happy Valentine's Day to all.





Sunday, February 12, 2012

Camden's take

I thought it would interesting/educational to ask Camden his point of view of how adopting has affected/changed his life.  


You see, when adopting one of THE MOST important things is the children still living at home. (Donovan is too busy to bother for this post as he is 17 1/2, driving, working and in his senior year of school- busy, busy, busy SONshine.)


Here's what I asked Camden-


How do you feel  adopting has changed your life?


More siblings.


Do you like having more siblings?


Sometimes.


Is there any thing we should consider when adopting children?


No one near my age or not a boy near my age because they would be jealous. (like Chance is)


So you don't mind a girl?


She will team up with Kat and fight with me.


Does it ever seem strange to be the only bio kid at home (besides Donovan)?


Nope.


Do you feel the same about all your siblings (adopted, bio, foster)? 


Yes.


Do you ever get asked about your family, why you have Chinese siblings?

Yes, but only how our family is so big. And I tell them we adopted.



Is there anything that was hard about adopting?


Them learning English and they need to be better at sports, like throwing football.


Do you ever feel ganged up on?


YES, yes and YES.   But I just have a friend over and they leave me alone.


Anything you wish they would teach you?


Enough Chinese to speak a sentence (Mom here, they are surprisingly stubborn  about sharing ANY Chinese speaking with any of us- shame on them)


Do you feel you get enough time with me and dad?


Yes.


Do you think it would be odd to be an only child?


I don't know. I'd probably be spoiled.  


Something funny- we do get looks at times, people trying to "figure out" our family.  So when someone was staring at Cam and he asked me why- I told him maybe they were trying to figure out if all these kids were adopted by us- and what does dad say?  "Maybe they are trying to figure out if YOU are adopted?" His cohort in crime (Chloe) slapped dad "five". (They are 2 of a kind- ornery) 


But isn't Cam something?  I know when we adopted Kat it was Camden who wanted a lil' sis.  Even if he does find her annoying now:)


Then when we added in Chloe, we were already fostering children,  our precious baby, then 2 brothers who had a very high level of needs  and Camden was  WONDERFUL to them.  Gave up clothes, his bed, his toys, his time.  He showed pure and amazing love to our baby boy, then was a mentor, help for the brothers who were in need of huge levels of guidance and were near his age.  


He's a very giving, loving person. I'm proud to be his momma.  He is full of love.
It hasn't been an easy road with us not "expecting" the boys, but them being meant to be in our family.  Again, Camden has been a help, a guide, loving and kind to help them learn all they need to learn.  


He is fairly easy going, although is getting closer to that teen attitude:(


It's a huge consideration for anyone who is thinking of adopting out of birth order, older, or both.  You can really rock a child's world by adopting, and not in a good way.  


Most olders come very immature, and even though they have a paper age of 12, 13, 14 they are going to be in a competition situation with a child who ranges from about 8- 13 already in the family. When adopting, it HAS to be very important-- the personalities of the child/ren already in the family and if they will continue to thrive when the new kid/s arrive and need a ton of support to blend in.


We are very thankful that Camden's personality has been open and giving and he was/continues to be helpful, caring and happy to have his siblings. 


We are blessed by this child, and yes, he looks exactly like a mini male version of ME. I know.  It's kinda scary how much he looks like me. Not adopted but a blessing who has had his life changed by adoption.


BTW, he did decide it wasn't fair that everyone else has a "gotcha day" and gets extra gifts once a year so we came up with April 7, (No family member birthdays that month) and his fave number 7.  That's his "special day" that we celebrate HIM.


Who says you can't celebrate your children?  ALL OF THEM. Not us. They are the future,  they are so very important. Celebrate them. For sure:)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My littles

If you have littles you gotta know how they come up with comments that just tickle your funny bone. Or hurt your heart.  All in the same sentence.  I love, love love the innocence of them.


Kat came home on Monday and said her one friend couldn't go out to play during recess time for very long.  I asked her why, expecting a comment that she had gotten in trouble.  No, she said "She doesn't have a coat."  And being the momma bear I am, I said - "Do you mean she forgot to bring it?"  And she corrected me with "She doesn't HAVE a coat and said they can't afford one."


OUCH.  Right in our own "backyard."  So I told Kat, please ask her what her size is, is she bigger than you (Ha ha, everyone is bigger than her) but I wanted the right size.Because to me, that's a need.  Even our child saw this need.  


We had JUST bought 2 coats, one intended for Phoebe and one for Kat for next year because we found them on clearance for dirt cheap.  And  God knew we would NEED a coat this week.  Maybe Phoebe will be bigger than we thought, even if she isn't God WILL provide another coat for our girls, without a doubt.  So I thanked Him for the coat in our closet we pulled out and sent off to school with Miss Kitty today.


A need met.  It doesn't always mean adopting, raising more children, a ton of cash.  You CAN help children in your OWN neighborhood.  Times are tough, we aren't rich, so many people are struggling with simple needs.  But if we open our eyes, look around, ask around, I bet you can find someone with a need.  And we have been so blessed ourselves.  Just Monday I cooked a lovely turkey given to us by a church friend.  It fed us for 2 suppers:)  That's big here.


Sometimes a need can be met just praying, asking God to bring peace to someone, caring enough to raise up the words to Him.  Costs 0 dollars, but is  the MOST important thing we can do.  Because we can't do anything without HIM. He LOVES  the little girl with no coat who today will get one:)  He took care of her.


I did have to laugh as Kat and I were heading out to go to her bus stop and I stopped off in my laundry room to throw a load of clothes in the wash.  Kat said "Boy mom it's really not very nice that you have to touch every one's dirty unders to do laundry." And I said "Maybe not, but it's part of having kids."  So she said "That's why I am only ever having 1 baby. Then I'll have 4 teens or so."  


I'm wondering at that point does she maybe want to BE a teen before she decides she wants to raise 4 teens?  But I asked her if she thought they were less work?  And she said "yeah, and mine will listen better than yours."  OHHHH.  Okay then.  Have at it, Miss Kitty.  Let me know how that works for ya:)


So on to the other "little" who may not be little much longer. Mr. Camden.  The dreaded "Can your son watch a film on puberty" permission slip came home.OIY.  Not ready for another teen here.  NOT YET.


But it's coming. Like it or not.  He left me this on the counter this morn.  Now understand (MOM) we do have paper.  My children do NOT, I repeat, do NOT have to write me notes on tissues.  Matter of fact, a small notebook was RIGHT BESIDE the tissue box?  But no, a tissue works so much more better, right?


I have had in the back of my mind to have a sit down with Cam, to ask his view on having all these adopted siblings.  Because one factor in adopting that is HUGE is the children already in the family, their personalities, their needs.  And I feel God leading me to share Cam's view because he would our last bio child and almost an only if we hadn't been so blessed with our treasures. Hard to imagine that, huh?


Tune in later for more fun:)

Monday, February 6, 2012

Football Anyone?

Am I the ONLY one out there who really doesn't give 2 hoots about FOOTBALL?  Surely not?


I was left alone in the upstairs watching Titant*c for the 100th time and eating snacks for supper.  Now, lest you think I am complaining, nope, not for a second, am I going there.  I gladly took my peace and quiet and snacks.  Dad got them ALL to cheer and follow along on that senseless game that seems so utterly important to all.


I'm not going to complain either that I have a cold.  One day last week I recall one of these lovies saying they had a "sore throat and green snot."  The green snot description I could have done without, but they seem to think since I am a nurse that I want all those gory details.  So as they are very fond of coughing on me, I am not surprised I now have a cold.


I *would* like to sleep and breathe at the same time.  I'd like to.  It's not been happening. I AM thankful I am not coughing my fool head off.  It could be worse.  It's just a simple little cold, hardly worth mentioning now that I have devoted 2 paragraphs to it


I have to tell you.  We are seeing odd and amazing things.  Saturday morn, Chase came up the steps for breakfast SMILING.  Openly smiling.  Dad AND Chloe both said "What are you smiling about?"  And I said "Maybe he is just HAPPY?? What, he can't even SMILE?"  But seriously this young man doesn't crack a grin often.  


He's changing.  His heart belonging to God has made visible, wonderful changes in him.  I called all the kiddos together for a picture, we needed family photos we have to send with our paperwork, and as Donovan had graced us with his presence for once.


Now normally we would have to tell Chase to stop looking away, stop looking mad, stop, stop and stop. Didn't have to say ANYTHING to him.  Donovan doesn't seem to know how to smile either, and really, he could stop growing now.  He's already 6 ft 3.  My tallest son, Derrik is 6 ft 4.  I'm not sure how I grow these big tall boys.  I'm 5 ft 5 BTW.  I know Chance is jealous, he asked Donovan how he "get so tall?"


And Donovan added fuel to Chance's fire, he told him to "eat, eat, eat." Like Chance needs any help or encouragement in that department- OIY.


Speaking of that Donovan. Senior year.  Accepted at a tech school to become an electrician.  This young man was playing with/asking for extension cords for his 9th birthday.  So no surprise of career choices there.  But, any hoos, between a job, school, fire calls, hanging at the fire hall, driving, we hardly SEE the dude. I complain.  I LIKE having time with him.  I guess it's prep for college time, but I don't like it.  


Now before you all ask if we added in that little guy without telling you all, the curly haired one, I would NEVER do that to you.  You know better.  He's our niece's baby and our honorary "grandson."  He LOVES all the kids and he didn't get why he didn't need to be in my picture. (I know, how DARE me- BAD Nana)



I'm going to share the kind of football I DO appreciate, so you all don't think I am totally unAmerican and shameful-- Dad passing ball with his boys.  Just so cool to see that male bonding thing:)  Aren't they so cute?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Birth mother

I overheard Chance say he was upset that his mom "made him stupid."  I said to him "I didn't make you stupid, 'cause you aren't stupid."


And he said " Okay, not you then, birth mom."  So I said to him- "Chance, I don't want to ever hear you say bad things about your birth mom again."  And I told him why-- Your birth mom did all she could do for you. She didn't have you to not be able to care for you.  Her heart must have been so hurt when she wasn't able to.  


And being a birth mother myself I am 100% sure that his momma wanted him, Chloe and Chase, to be cared for, loved, and in a family together.  Even if that meant it wasn't in  HER family. So I'm fairly certain a prayer or 2 went to Heaven on behalf of these 3 precious children, even if their mother didn't know God, I can just hear her plea.  Because I know a mother's heart and how she would have been hurting over these children, her inability to care for them, she would have begged anyone, anything to give her children safety, a future.


So I explained to him that without her I wouldn't have him as my son.  And I wanted her to be honored and respected as the mother who gave him life. 


He apologized to me and promised he would never say "bad things" about his birth mom again.  And I told him that he wasn't "Made stupid" he was wonderfully and perfectly made by God and because he learns differently than his siblings does not make him stupid at ALL.


Chloe does not speak of their birth mother at all, in fact, she decided some time ago that I was her birth mom, at least, that's what she wanted to be true so she decided it so.  And she tells people that.  I'm sure they wonder what she is talking about especially when they see her blue eyed, white and gray haired American father:)  It's really not disrespectful to her birth mom, it's more of a show of how bonded she is to me, that she sees me as her "only mom".  She wasn't able to have a normal relationship with any woman she could call "Mother" till me.


Chase rarely speaks of birth mother as well, but he did pay close attention when I was speaking to Chance.  I think he feels more honor bound to respect their birth mother and I could see he was happy with my request of Chance that he respect birth mom for doing what she could for them, for giving them life. ( Mom, Chase is concentrating in this picture and that's HIS hand  propping his chin--not mine at his throat, just sayin' so you don't call me to ask)


It's all part of the healing of the past, addressing the pain but also making sure they understand that we all are human and we aren't perfect.  We may have things happen that we can't control.  I told them if something happened to me I would want all of my children to have a family, a mom who loved them.  And that God makes us mommas with big, wonderful hearts that can take a child from anywhere and love them as our own.  It's a gift God gives us.  Just a the gift they are to me.


Chloe has been working on a school fundraiser.  She has hijacked my address book and is filling out forms to send to everyone I know asking them to buy magazines, to support their school.  What does she get?  Some silly little ducks that she MUST have.  Must. In the meantime, hide your addresses people, she's on a roll.


She asked me "What's a P.O box?  People live in a box? How? So I explained a post office box.  That no one is living in it.  It's always interesting, teaching these teens:)  They make me laugh often.


Something I didn't laugh about- Chase left the doggy doodle out and didn't bother to go after him or call him or even tell anyone the bugger doggy didn't come back.  I realized after a bit that he was no where to be found and thankfully he came when I  opened the door and called him in.   Not that the ornery dog was sad to be left out, he likes to take off so I guess he is glad we now live in the country for him to go run around.


Good news on the adoption front, we got an appointment for fingerprinting.  And it's SOON. I was shocked how soon.  We've never been given an appointment with so little notice.  I'm thrilled since we have always gotten our approval shortly after being finger printed, so  the sooner the better. As well as getting our stuff moving along.  Prayers must be working for things to go quicker for us, so thank you for that:)  We are terribly eager to get this girl home!


Another treasure, just waiting on paperwork to be done.  It's so hard that it comes down to waiting on others to get paperwork done to get permission to go for her.  And I can honestly say, it doesn't get easier with the more you bring home, if anything it's worse!  You know each step gets you forward but it's only to wait AGAIN- very tough.  But it's part of the process, she is totally worth it, and that's what matters in the end.  Our girl, getting her here.  

For that we will wait as long as we have to, for our commitment to her is already in our hearts:)