Friday, November 2, 2012

Fall Fest or Cry Fest?

On Trick or Treat night, our church holds a wonderful Fall Festival, as an alternative to celebrating Halloween. We LOVE this, because it allows our children to celebrate harvest time, get candy and not honor a holiday that we don't believe in.

They don't want to miss out on all the "candy hype" and they don't miss a thing. Fun, games, candy, snacks. All provided.

What was unexpected was the tears. (Not mine MOM)  The girls, Paisley and Kat.  First Kat was putting extra marshmallows in the pots used for a game, how fast could they pick up wet marshmallow with chop sticks and transfer to the next pot.  (Yes, my children had unfair advantage-- what can I say??)

So Chloe told me what Kat was doing. And I told Kat to knock it off. But as a typical 9 year old she HAD to do it, you know, JUST-ONE-MORE-TIME.  And this time Paisley saw it and YELLED at her.

And Kat yelled back. So next thing I knew Kat was bawling. Her "feelings" were hurt. So I asked Paisley to come over and I explained to her Kat was crying because she hurt Kat's feelings and she needed to apologize. Then Kat had to apologize for yelling at Paisley.

This calmed down  Kat, but now Paisley was sobbing. I tried to tell her it was over, she needed to stop crying. But she did not. So after a number of people asked her "What's wrong?" I told her she needed to go to the van if she wasn't going to stop.

Off to the van we went. Once in I asked her "What's the problem?" Well, clearly she did not understand me because she said "I talk rude and need to not."  Uhh, yeah, but not quite what I meant.

So I tried again. And it came down to her being angry that Kat put the marshmallows in the pot and she didn't think she should be in trouble for yelling at her. So after I explained to her that Chloe saw her do it too, but that she had told ME, that was the RIGHT way to handle it, because it's MY job to correct Kat-- not hers.

I explained to her that I am her parent, as well as Kat's. That I do not need her to parent Kat. It's not her job here.  Then later we talked again, and she said something I was not surprised to hear.

Matter of fact it's very, very common to hear from kids who grow up in orphanages. She wanted to know why Kat behaves the way she does.  That she cries when hurt. That she doesn't listen at times.

And I had to teach another teen o' mine that not only are THEY not orphans any longer, that their sister is not an orphan any longer. She will NOT act like an orphan because she isn't one. And that we wished THEY knew how to let us care for them, to not try so hard to take care of themselves and not need us because WE ARE FAMILY.

We didn't just give them our name. We adopted them to love them, to be here for them always, to give them something soooo special that God wanted for them-- A FAMILY. And all that brings. Some not so cool--answering to us, expectations, rules, but also some super things-- like- love, trust, security, needs being met, education, honor.

And I said it again, "You are here to learn how to be part of our family, to be a family member, not to teach any of US how to be orphans."  

Ohh, how I wish there was no such word. ORPHAN.

What does it mean?? Here's the definition---

1. A child whose parents are dead.
2. A child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.
3.  One that lacks support, supervision, or care.

And I have to tell you, we don't know about birth parents, for the first one, but as I told our newest daughter-- God gave her something many do not get-- the chance to have another family, we wanted to be her parents.

She got this family, she was told, who loves her no matter the blood running in our veins not being the same. Or that we didn't have anything to do with making her freckles, or cute little nose. Her black hair. It doesn't matter one bit to us how or WHEN we got her, we LOVE her.  100% love her.  

So ORPHAN is a word of the past. FOR ALL.  No one is going to act like an orphan because they are NO LONGER orphans.  Not that we "saved" them, no, we don't look at it that way-- we look at it like it is-- we added to our family through adoption.  They are blessings added to our lives. We parent them because we want to, we love them as the gifts God meant all children to be.

As for orphans, nope, none of them here. Not any longer. We are so thankful we can say that....  and our hope and dream is for the word to be GONE because there is no need for it. Can you just IMAGINE?

Think that's impossible? Try GOD, He makes impossible,"I'M POSSIBLE." As in HIM. He CAN do it.  Just gotta believe and act when He calls:)

Our adoption news, 'cause we are all dying to know "When are we traveling for Phoebe?"  Hit a snag, our child abuse clearances were "too old" and we needed an addendum to explain we have updated clearances. 

This is one of the last few steps to get Phoebe's visa approved so that we can travel. So still don't have an exact time frame and can't really guess with the unknowns of the holidays coming up. But it won't be long. 

  God's timing. Another gift of a daughter, coming to us in His time.  We trust in His perfect timing, His plan, and that He will bring the funds needed to get us there:) 

Working on some fundraisers I will announce soon-- trying to get organized. I have a neat book donated to raffle off:)Had to start a new Chip In because I didn't realize it ended Oct 31, can't believe MOM didn't catch that?

BTW-- the kids are NOT sniffing  illegal candies in these pictures or any other such nonsense-- since I know MOM will want to know. It was one of the games at Fall Fest.

 They had to suck up the candy (it was too big to go through the straw -MOM) to the end of the straw and hold it there to transfer it to another cup and whichever team had the most in the cup at the end of one minute won.

 (That would be the girls, even with Chance cheating using two straws at once--of course:)

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