Is it really 4 years since I kissed you goodbye?
4 YEARS since I held you?
4 years, yet you didn't see your first birthday?
My son of my heart, handed to me at 4 weeks old, so little, so sweet. So good smellin,' so incredibly doomed, we were told you had already "outlived" your life expectancy.
Yet, we took you, we loved you, we kissed you, held you, taught you love. Did everything in our power to give you QUALITY of life if you couldn't have quantity.
We did it with LOVE, because you were 100% lovable. I mean, who doesn't love a baby? I could not NOT fall in love with you even when they told me you were going to die. I couldn't.
You stole my heart the first time I laid eyes on you and I KNEW I had been handed one of the most PRECIOUS gifts I have EVER been given. To be your MOM.
You shared with us your love, your crooked smile, your fight, your pure babyness.
You taught us to relish every moment we have here, don't waste our lives. You taught us patience, perseverance, to slow down and ENJOY- life, our children, little things, wind blowing on your face, flowers, leaves turning colors.
We hurt so bad when it was time to let you go, but it was clear, your job here was done. The pain was indescribable. Yet we could NOT hang on because it was time, you needed to move on to Heaven, to be in your Heavenly Father's lap. Whole and healthy, it was your TURN.
I do NOT weep for you today son, because you are HOME. I know you are whole, you are happy and I WILL see you again. I miss you but I look forward to the day when I WILL press my lips to that spot on your nose between your eyes where my lips fit perfectly and I kissed on you always:))
My love for you, dear Tristan Angel Boy--- is a treasure, buried in my heart, never to fade, never to change. I will carry you with me FOREVER.