Thursday, July 19, 2012

Chloe's letter

As promised Chloe and I worked on a project together. What is it? 


Well--- she wanted to help older kids getting adopted. She recalled having total fear of what it meant to be adopted, to come with me, what would happen to her once home with me, how she would be treated.


So what better way to ease the mind of a child soon to be adopted than a first hand account of what Chloe recalls? 


Here's the letter she wrote in English-- 



Hello,

My name is Chloe but in China my name was Min Lu Yun. I lived in XinYang in an orphanage in Henan. I was adopted to America in 2009.  You are getting an American family and I wanted to help you to know what that means and not be scared.

American people are very nice. They care about you very much. When my mom first came I was so scared. I did not know what to expect. I remember she smelled good. She had brought my little sister who was also adopted from China  many years before and as a younger child so she did not speak Chinese anymore.

We signed papers. We went to eat. My mom smiled at me often. She wanted me to pick anything I wanted to eat. We pretended our chopsticks were coming out of our ears, or out of our heads and we laughed.

We went back to a hotel and mom had a suitcase of stuff for me, clothes,  shoes, coloring pages, nail polish.  I got to play with my new little sister. I took a bath with many bubbles, it was my first bath. I learned my family had picked the American name Chloe for me and it meant "blooming" like a flower. I really liked that because Lu Yun was very hard for them to say.

We had a guide, a Chinese woman who helped us get to appointments we had to go to for my adoption, and who helped my mom go to the store. We went to a big store and bought many things to take back to my orphanage. I got to pick out anything I wanted for me.

Soon we flew on a plane, my first plane ride, to Guangzhou. Every American family goes to Guangzhou to finish the adoption papers to bring you to America. Sometimes I was bored, we waited for papers to get done and I was missing my friends from the orphanage.

But soon it was time to fly to America. It was a very long flight. I noticed in the airport in America no one looked like me now, so many people who looked different. Red hair, blue eyes, blond hair, brown eyes.  People were tall, short, heavy, thin. All different and interesting. I stayed close to my mom who made sure I was with her and safe.

We got home the next day. I met my new brothers and dad. I was scared of my dad, I had not been around any men who were nice in China. But I soon learned my dad was very nice. Quiet, but he cared about me.  Wanted me to be happy.

It was hard at first. I could not talk to anyone in Chinese. I missed Chinese food. I missed smells of China.  I cried. My mom and dad had someone come over who could speak Chinese to see if they could help. And they worked with me to teach me English. It seemed so hard at first but it really was not long and I could ask for things, I could talk to people in my family in English.  My mom and dad tried very hard to help me find foods I liked, to understand what I needed when I tried to tell them in English.

I was finding things that were good about America, not forgetting China, I will never do that, but there are good things in America and about having a family. First I always have enough food now. I did not in the orphanage. I have nice clothes, new things, my clothes are washed and clean, I do not have to worry that I will not get my clothes back. My mom takes me shopping when I grow and I got new shoes. In the orphanage I got 1 pair of shoes and if my feet grew I had to wear them till the next New Year when we got a new pair of shoes. Here, I get new shoes when I need them. And I have more than 1 pair.

That does not mean my family buys me everything. No.  I would like to have a cell phone, I wanted an  I pod. I just got an I pod for Christmas (big American holiday) I do not have a cell phone yet. That is the something my parents have to decide when I can have one.  My parents are good to me, they have never hit me. They do not make me do  a lot of work, I help by keeping my room clean, I take a turn once a week washing dishes. Americans want to adopt Chinese children to give you a family. That is a very good thing. It gives you people who care for you, who will help you, who will always be there for you, even when you are grown. Family is people you can trust.  

You will get an education. Some American families have school at home. Some send you to school in a big yellow bus.  I go to school on the bus. My mom made sure to find me a friend, who speaks English and she is my best friend now. She helped me every day to get to classes, to help me understand English. And you get a special teacher to help you learn English too. Teachers here are kind and everyone wants to help you. 

It is important to honor your new family, call your new parents, mom and dad. It is not okay to be rude, to be mean to them or to your new brothers or sisters. That is not good to do. You can chose to try, to learn English (practice) and be happy or be sad all the time from missing China. There is much good so I am very happy and I can still love my China. 

Having a family is good. I will always be Chinese, but now I am also American too. My mom says I have the best of both places.  I still speak Chinese, my mom found out when I was adopted I had 2 brothers who were at the orphanage. And she said they would go back for them. I did not believe her at first,  I saw pictures of my family and there were 5 sons, so I thought they did not want my brothers.

I found out my new parents did not know I had Chinese brothers, and they did not lie to me, they did paperwork and we went  to China 1 year later and adopted my brothers.  Now we all have a family.  My family love me and your family wants to love you. They want to get to know what you like, what you do not like, they want you to be happy, make friends, give you a chance to have a great future. You can dream here, of what you want to do with your life and actually do it. Be a teacher, be a translator, be a scientist, a nurse, whatever you wish. I get to cook Chinese food, we celebrate Chinese New Year and Moon festival and my family even celebrates each year on the date of when my mom came to China to get me, I get gifts. 

I had to learn with my new family that I was important but also ALL the children in the family were important.  I am special to them, they wanted me. My parents may tell me no and I do not like that but they want what is best for me.  They teach me about being in America- things that are different than China, so I can learn.  They care if I am happy, sad, tired, mad. They treat me the same as their other children even when I was scared and thought they would love the children already here more. They show me that they can love more than 1 child, they can love many. And I can have a brother with red hair, a dad with blue eyes, it does not matter. I get to teach my family about China. 

 It is the best thing ever, to have gotten a family. I am not an orphan any more. My only wish? I wish I had gotten my family sooner. It is funny but my mom says the same thing- she wishes she had ME sooner. I am happy to have them now, that I do not have to grow up forever without a family to care about me. 

Chloe 


And here's the great part--- the letter translated for you to use to send to your child, or to take along for your adoption trip.  This has been made possible by Jax 
Please, if you use the letter, I ask that you show your support and gratitude toward Jax and their adoption journey,http://jaxchronicles.com/  be it prayer, buy a t-shirt  at http://www.gojadeapparel.com/
        Or Chip in  at their blog http://jaxchronicles.com/ 

 Chloe deeply wants to see them bring home another orphan, so she asked that their adoption be supported by her help.




你好,



我的名子叫Chloe, 在中國我的名子叫楊明盧.我原來住在河南省,一個在信陽的孤兒院.我在西元2009年被領養到美國我想讓你們了解,被一個美國家庭收容的感受,藉此告訴你們沒有必要感到害怕.


美國人非常友善,他們很關懷人.當我第一次見到我母親時,我有一點怕.我不知道該有什麼期望.我記得我母親聞起來很香,她還把我同樣也是從中國領養的妹妹帶來,我妹妹因為很小的時候就被領養所以她不會講中文.

我們簽完領養文件以後就去吃東西去了.我的母親常常對著我笑容滿面,她讓我挑任何我想要吃的東西,我門笑著,假裝快子從我們的耳多和頭長出來.

媽媽帶著我回到旅館把一個旅行箱拿出來,裡面裝滿了我的衣服,鞋子,畫畫本,和指甲油.我和我的新妹妹一同玩耍,洗泡泡澡.這是我一生以來第一次洗到泡泡澡.我學到為什麼我的新家庭選Chloe這個名子給我,因為這名字的意思是開花的意思.我非常喜歡這個名字因為他們念我中文名子時有點困難.

一位中國女義工幫著我們接洽領養手續,然後帶著我媽去到一間商店.在店裡我媽任我挑選任何一樣東西讓我帶回領養院.

過了沒多久我們已上了飛機,這是我第一次做飛機去廣州,所有來中國領養小孩的美國人都要帶著文件去到廣州去完成手續.當我們在等待手續完成期間,我突然開始懷念起我在孤兒院的朋友.

過沒多久手續完成了,飛往美國的時間已到.這趟飛行旅途非常遙遠.當我抵達美國時,突然發現機場裡沒有一個人長的跟我一樣.每一個人看起來都不一樣.有紅頭髮,有藍眼睛,有金頭髮,有咖啡色眼睛.高矮胖瘦樣樣都有趣.我緊緊的跟著我媽.

第二天我們到了家,我第一次見到我的新哥哥和爸爸,我有一點怕我爸,因為我在中國沒有遇到過友善的男人.不過我很快發現我爸非常友善,雖然他很安靜不過我知道他希望我快快樂樂而且他也很關心我.

剛開始我很不習慣,因為沒人跟我講中文.我很懷念中國菜.我很懷念中國的味道.我想想就開始哭了.我爸媽找了一位會講中文的人來看看能不能幫上忙,同時他們也教我英文.剛開始有點難,不過過沒多久我開始會用英文問話.我開始用英文跟我的家人溝通.我爸媽想盡辦法幫找到我喜歡吃的食物,他們試著了解我的需求.

我慢慢的發現美國的好,同時沒有忘掉中國.我永遠不會忘掉中國,但是美國有他的好畢竟我現在有一個家庭在美國的好處是,我肚子永遠是飽的.以前在孤兒院時我沒有吃飽的感覺.我有好衣服,新東西,我的衣服永遠是乾淨的.我不用擔心拿不回我的衣服.當我鞋衣穿不下時,我媽會帶我去買新的.在孤兒院裡如果我鞋穿不下,我得等到下一年才能穿到新鞋.在這我只要鞋一穿不下我就可以穿到新的,而且我還不只一雙鞋.

不過這不代表我的家庭什麼都買給我,我很想要一隻手機跟Ipod.我聖誕節剛拿到一個Ipod因為在美國聖誕節是一個重大節日.我還是沒有手機.我爸媽還在決定什麼時後要給我手機.我爸媽對我很好,他們從不打我,也不會叫我做牛做馬.我幫忙盡量保持房間乾淨,我倫流一個星期洗一次碗.美國人想要領養中國小孩因為他們想要給中國小孩一個家庭.這是很好的一件事.這帶給你們會關懷你們的人,會幫助你的人,會永遠站在你身旁的人,即便你長大成人.家人是你可信的人.

你會受到教育,有些美國的家庭會在家裡教育小孩.有些會送你上學校的黃巴士.我都是坐巴士上學的.我媽確保我找到一個會講英文的同學現在變成我的好朋友了.我的朋友幫我每天去到教室,幫我學英文.學校裡也有老師會幫助你學英文.這裡的老師對學生很好而且大家都想幫助你.

把榮耀獻給你的家庭是很重要的,稱呼你的新父母,爸爸媽媽.對待爸媽或新的兄弟姊妹千萬不能沒禮貌,這是很不好的你可以選擇去試著學英文,或開心或悲傷的懷念中國.不過終究在美國有很多好事所以我很高興而且我還是可以愛中國.

有家庭的感覺很好.我永遠是中國人,但是現在我也同時是美國人.我媽說我帶有兩面化的世界,因為我還是會講中文.我媽去領養我時發現我有兩個同樣也是待在孤兒院的兄弟.我媽跟我講說她會回去收容我的兩兄弟,我剛開始不相信,我看到家庭照片裡有五個兒子,所以我覺得我媽不會要我的兩兄弟.

我發現我爸媽不知道我有兩兄弟,他們確實是不知道.他們辦了領養手續,一年後去領養我的兩兄弟.現在我們三兄妹都有一個家庭我的家庭愛我,你們的領養家庭也想愛你們.你們的領養家庭想要認識你們,想了解你們喜歡什麼,不喜歡什麼他們想要你們快樂,想要你們交朋友,想讓你們有一個好的未來.在美國你們只要立志長大想當什麼,就會變成什麼.不管是老師,翻譯官,科學家,護士,只要你想的到的就做的到.我在這可以煮中國菜,我門慶祝中國農曆新年跟中秋節,我的家庭甚至每年慶祝我媽來中國領養我的那一天,而且還會送我禮物.

我從我新的家庭學到我是很重要的,不過我也同時學到每個在這家庭裡的小孩都很重要.對他們而言我是特別的,他們想要我.有時我爸媽會拒絕我的請求,雖然我不太喜歡,但是我知道他們是為我好我爸媽教我一些美國跟中國不一樣的地方,讓我去學習.他們關心我是快樂,悲傷,,或心情不愉快.他們對待我就像是對待他們親身的小孩一樣即便我剛開始有點怕他們會比較寵愛他們親生的小孩.他們讓我見識到父母能夠一次愛許多小孩,即便我有一個紅頭髮的兄弟,一個藍眼睛的爸爸還是不會改變他們對我們的愛.而且我還可以教他們跟中國相關的事情.

有一個家庭真的是我一生發生過最美好的事.我不再是孤兒了.我唯一的遺憾是沒有提早遇到我現在的家庭有趣的是我媽也這麼認為,她也希望他提早領養到我.不過我現在非常高興,因為我不再需要一個人孤孤單單的長大,因為我有一個愛我,關懷我的家庭.

Chloe敬上.

Please continue to help Jax-- every little bit adds up so don't think your $5 isn't enough, remember we got to the boys on $5, here, $10 there, etc. It matters:)


Of note- if anyone has trouble printing this out from the blog please e-mail me and I will send you a copy via e-mail to use, it looks kinda blurry to me on my computer on the blog.  ronvic7@yahoo.com

16 comments:

Peace said...

Please tell Chloe how great that letter is! I am American, I've been to China 3 times. Last time I went I volunteered at an orphanage in Xi'an called Starfish, it was really great, I love to play with all the kids & spend time appreciating them. It fills my heart. Starfish has only been open for seven years, so none of the children are old enough to read the letter, but it was so nice of Chloe to think of others in that way. What a great kid!

thesleepyknitter said...

OK, tear-jerker!!!

Please tell Chloe that her letter is beautiful. I pray that it helps many teens to know that their new family loves them and wants to take care of them.

Thank you for posting her letter!

Rebecca said...

Thank you Chloe!!! What a gift that is!!! That was just beautiful and so real and heartfelt. I can not wait to send that to our daughter.
Blessings,
Rebecca

Marji said...

Oh my, a friend just sent this link and I am forever in her debt. Chloe, thank you so much for your letter. I am adopting my fifth daughter who will be 13 years old by the time I can travel. I have worried so much about her feelings of fear and loss although I know that a family and a future are better than the prospects she has if she remains in China. My dossier should leave the agency for China tomorrow. I'm going to print your letter and keep in in my file until I can send our first package of gifts to her when it gets closer to the time to travel. And I will definitely send a donation to the wonderful translator because this letter is just priceless.
Marji, mom to four here and one there

asianalmondtea said...

What a great letter. I have printed this out as we are traveling soon to adopt an 11 year old. I have visited and made a donation to Jax.

Thank you so much,

Janell

Sherri said...

Please tell Chloe that I love the letter she wrote. My husband and I adopted from China just this year. We waited by the time Emma was placed in our arms 5 yrs, 6 mos, 1 wk and 4 days and today she's been our daughter now 5 months. She's just a baby and is 17 months old, she's very happy and so loves her family....and we are so in love with her.
Sherri

Lisa M said...

Oh Chloe, Thank you so much!!!! I will be sending this to our 13 year old son that we are working toward adopting and I'll be visiting Jax's site to make a donation as sooooo as I hit enter! This is a beautiful way to support many adoptions!!!

mom2three said...

Chloe, what a wise and insightful letter. You have learned so much in the past few years. Thank you for your williness to pass on your wonderful wisdom to help others. You are a thoughtful young lady being raised by wonderful parents. May God bless and use this letter to bring hope and peace to many anxious hearts.

Nancy said...

Chloe, you are fabulous! Your letter is sure to reach many kids who are scared to be adopted, and it will calm their fears. Way to go!

MommaT said...

Absolutely amazing Chloe!!!

Love for Lilly Yin said...

Chloe, I am so PROUD of you! What a great story!

Dottie P said...

Please tell Chloe that I think her letter was so helpful, and I am so impressed at how thoughtful she is to think of how these orphans are feeling and realizing that she can help.God is shining through her!

Heather said...

Wow! This is beautifully written. Very descriptive too. chloe thought of everything! What a special gift she has given to others. I love her heart! What an amazing kiddo!

KellyM said...

Just printed this letter off for my teen daughter waiting in Jiangsu, and just contributed to your friends' adoption. This is the third letter I've collected from teen girls adopted to the states, the other two are old friends from our daughter's orphanage. I hope so much that they are all helpful in her transition! HUG your precious Chloe for me and my family, and for our Katy Xia! We travel in November!

Donna said...

I cried through this entire thing! Chloe, I admire you SOOO much and what you've written will probably help other girls more than any other thing they'll read before embarking on a new life with a new family. My heart aches when I think of the fear and uncertainty you must have felt. Only someone who has lived through it can reassure another child that it'll be okay. God bless you, Sweetie! You're lucky to have such a loving family but THEY'RE lucky to have a treasure like YOU!

xoxo

Donna
Mom to two Monkey Year girls born Summer 2004:
Gwen of Shenzhen (adopted from China 2005)
Madeline of Qinzhou (adopted from China 2006)

Smith said...

Cloe,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this! Our family traveled in July to China when we adopted our first daughter, GiGi (2.5 y/o). Our family is adopting an older daughter now. I am so grateful for your letter. Guan Ya will be 14y/o in March and is deaf-mute. We have conformation from her orphanage that she has wanted to be adopted. We will be going after her in the next 4 months. I've been contacting other AP in the states that have adopted older kids to ask their children to write a letter to Guan Ya so I could send it to her to take away some of her fears. No one has expressed she has fears but I would.
Thank you for sharing your letter because I will also use it to send to GuanYa. I have Chinese native friends that live in the US, China & Germany and many have offered to translate for us so if you know of any other older adoptee that would like to write a letter to her, I have access to getting translation if they are not translated. Also if you anyone else reading this has an older child & would like to connect or write to Guan Ya, please contact me at nikisuitor@yahoo.com
I know adoption is different for each person, but is there anything else that would have made you more comfortable (while waiting in China to unite with your family) meeting & uniting with your forever family?

We've sent letters, pics, care package, etc & soon plan to send another one. In it we plan on sending her a portable DVD player with adapters for plugs, etc. with a video of our family. We will record our home, some friends, & places we often visit. We will use sign language & cue cards in Chinese to communicate to her on the video. If nothing else, it should make her laugh at how silly I'm sure it will turn out – we are a silly family! lol

If you have any other ideas on anything else we could do to make the transition easier on her (especially since she will be 14y/o or really close) please send me an email.
I'm so happy for you & your family!!! The blessings for an adoptive parent are more than an adoptive child could ever realize; we are lucky to have all our children!! Thank you again for sharing!
Blessings!
Niki
http://www.long-road-to-china.blogspot.com/
You can find pictures of our family on our blogspot

You can find pictures of our family on our blogspot.