Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Irked

I'm irked.  I struggled with sharing this, I don't often dwell on any negative of  adoption because it is what it is.  You do the paperwork, you feel honored to bring home a precious child, for us a win-win situation.  


But I find as we are traveling this journey a last time (and it is the last time)  stop laughing mom that the steps this time are different.  Or maybe I am just looking at them differently. I'm not sure which it is.  


The negatives bugging me?  The fees.  And I don't mean we are asking for $. Nope. Nor do I mean that we do not believe God will not provide for Phoebe's adoption. HE WILL.  Of that I have no doubt.


I just can't believe that we are required to pay a fee and be fingerprinted, as if our prints have changed from the last 4 times we did them?  I mean, really?  And in  the added time of getting our Home Study done, we are now under the requirements of Post Placement reports for 5 years, pre paid before we can go get Phoebe.  


Now I have no issue sharing how our child is doing for 5 years, none at all.  My issue is with the fee, I mean, what if the agency isn't even AROUND 5 years from now that we paid the PP report fees to?  It's not like that doesn't happen, we have had 2 agencies we used, one gone, one no longer doing China adoptions.


And we heard recently the orphanage fee has gone up. 


I'm annoyed. Not because Phoebe's adoption has steps, has fees, because  to us, she is priceless.  As are ALL of the children who need families.


It's my fear that wonderful, God led families will be discouraged, will not see past the fees as they continue to increase.  This in turn could keep more and more families from children who need them.  Good families.  Wonderful moms, caring dads who have tons of love to give. That may never get the chance to BE family.


Children, it's supposed to be about the children. And for us, it IS. It's about getting our girl.  It's about following God's call, to care for the orphans.  


I always share with people who say "we can't afford it", that there are steps to the fees, most all are NOT required right away so you can save, plan, etc. to make it happen, when some think it is an impossible step to take.  And that we trust completely in God to get us to our girl.


It just seems that someone should be able to pull up our fingerprints and that be that.  Report fees should be due when the reports are being DONE.  I don't get paid before I go to work? Do any of you?


It seems like the focus isn't on the children, the ones who matter here.  
And that irks me.  To my very soul.  I KNOW God's plan is for orphaned children to be loved, to be in a family, for us to answer His call.  So I don't like to see things that  deter people in any way from that plan.


I don't have any choice or say (other than on this blog o' mine) to change any of this, I *wish* I did. And I totally get the safeguards in place to make sure children get good parents/families, that people have to get paid to do the paperwork, etc. 


I just know that I don't want anyone to feel they can't go forward for a child, a precious one who NEEDS to be loved, to feel WANTED, to have a name that shows they have a family--and for things to come down to fees like this just screams WRONG to me. 


I'm not sure why this is weighing so heavy on my mind.  I really don't. I just know that children shouldn't lose getting a family because of MONEY.  It's not what God wants.


Since I don't have any quick answers to solve this issue (or world peace either) I'll ask you all how you feel about this? 


And to all you who laughed when I said this is our last, please go check out Lolly and Polly advice of the day.(All but you mom, you won't get it, trust me)

5 comments:

Chris said...

Yeah, the process is ...umm "interesting"..what gets me is telling them everything incl. the TP brand, but somehow the info doesn't flow the other way...if you know what I mean?
We'll keep pluggin along and then I plan to donate to those grant funds so that other people can follow after us...cause this 'really' is our last one too!

Linette said...

Yeah, the fingerprint issue has always bugged me too. I'M not screaming for my civil right to have my fingerprints deleted immediately every time they clear them! I would be happy to have them kept on file for years on end!! And while they're at it, why can't we use the same set for our state FBI check and for immigration? They're both being checked by the same people, right? (Okay, so someone explained to me that they check different sets of records...grrr.) I'm looking forward to seeing Miss Phoebe come home--hopefully she is wearing those sunglasses you got her! :-)

mom2three said...

It makes me sad and mad because it feels like it becomes a "business" transaction with a commodity. GRRR these are children, vunerable children, in need of a home and a future. Instead of making it harder, can't they figure out a way to make it simpler? This should be a heart thing, not a head thing, or a money thing.

MommaT said...

Our new social workers agency wanted us to pay it all up front too...was going to almost $3000...we told them we already paid our agency $1000 holding fee for this purpose, so they agreed and only made us pay on report upfront..then as we go..maybe you can convince them of the same thing? Also I hear you on the whole fingerprint thing...dumb dumb dumb...really our SSNs and fingerprints aren't going anywhere

Hunan Mommy said...

And what's hard for me to fathom is how much the program has changed since we came home with our daughter in 2009. We didn't have any of the additional steps between LOA and TA with our daughter. My heart goes out to your family and all the others as you wait between all the additional steps, red tape, and additional money required.