Monday, November 7, 2011

Respect yo' Momma

Well then.  I am once again party to a certain some one's lack of respect. SIGH. 

 I think it must be how God feels when He tells us something and we totally ignore Him and He has to come back over and over to tell us till we "get it". 

I'm not known for my patience.  It's a well known fact here.  So when a certain boy decides to ignore me when told to go to his room, as I saw him escalating in his behavior, I am not a happy momma.

And I tried to explain it to him because he believes he is right no matter what I say.  And he is NOT  getting the respect for me very fast here. I'm going to be real honest too, it's annoying the beeezeebers out of me.  I don't do well with back talk.

So, of course, there is an abundance of it here. Lord, help me. I mean it, help me.

Dad tried to talk to him, told him I was no different from him we won't remind him I am not totally gray haired yet, or that I am a girl, he is a boy,  when it comes to listening to us. Of course. Simple right?  But no, he continues to insist that I explain myself to him.  And I told him "NO" I would NOT explain it again, he knows what we are telling him.

He is a smart boy.  But BOY, not MAN. Not household head, not a parent here.  He argues with me to try to get me to treat him as such, not as the child he is.   He may not understand what he is doing, but I do.

And I am not buying into it.  He needs to be parented.  Respected himself, which I do, but I will not put him in a place of equality with me and his dad.  This is NOT what this child needs.

At times like this, I wonder if God really meant for me to this child's mother.  I even whine a bit, "God REALLY?"  I mean, are you SURE you got the right red head, maybe it was a Vivian not Vickie?   Viv, if you're out there I have your son, e-mail me fast And I swear to you (no, mom I do not swear, although I wonder sometimes WHY I don't )  I hear God chuckle and say "Yes, My child. This is your son." 
OIY.  I guess He never promised me easy street with these kiddos, but He did promise to be here for me, and He is.  And I love these kids, no doubts about that,  it's just not easy when you aren't feeling loads of love headed back at ya. 

Adoption is not always easy street.  It's not roses and lollipops.  It's being hurt.  It's being insulted, it's coping with feelings most people would rather not talk about.  I knew when we were paper chasing for the boys they would be tough, they would come with greater issues than say, Kat.  But I also knew Vivian was not their mother. I was.

  And that is what keeps me pluggin' along today, with God's help, of course, hoping and praying my son will learn the respect he needs and will move forward in a positive way. I will not lose hope because this son is God's child and He has a plan for this child.  I'm honored God chose me to be a part of it, even when I hurt from son's behavior.

I've got to share some fun stuff now that I got the serious out.  Miss Kitty at the bus stop this morning.  She informed me she will be raising her children differently than I raise her. 

She has some super ideas, she is going to serve her children their meals in their rooms, on trays.  They will not need to come to the table at ALL.  She informed me she will not be giving birth to any children either, hers are all coming via adoption.  And she wants a big family. 

She said she will adopt Chinese children, her and Chloe have said the same thing, which cracks me up.  Because they say it as if they marry and give birth their child would not be Chinese. 

 And I have explained to them both they could marry a blond blue eyed dude and I'm pretty sure they are still gonna get a Chinese looking child.  Maybe brown hair but still with those gorgeous almond eyes I love.

But no birth children required for our Kat, she'll be too busy adopting and feeding those children in their rooms. Now how could I not feel better when you got such a sweetie as her telling me all I do wrong?

 I mean really? Gosh, have I mentioned how much I LOVE THESE KIDS???


Monkey Tales said...

Caidi informed me that she will not have children I asked her why and she said "I don't want to get married". As a single mom, I explained she didn't have to be married to have children but it is the preferred way. She replied "I want Chinese children and China won't let me adopt unless I'm married!"

Dawn said...

I know we get no respect... unless it's an accident. My seven year old from China usually talks like a California valley girl at times! (Where she got it from I have no idea it scares the begeezes out of me!) But today she asked me if a "momma to be" we know would be as good a mom as me? I was so thrilled. I said you mean you think I'm a good mama? She said,"Well of course mom, geeze!" Like I'm such a dolt... ya just got to take em when you get them and enjoy it while you can... ;-)

Lisa said...

Your post today could have come from my own mouth. How do you teach an older-adopted teenager how to respect his/her parents when he/she never had to respect an adult before? Some days are so rewarding and wonderful, and others are so downright crappy!

~Monica Utt~ Itty Bitty Land said...

Vickie and all,
I hate to tell you this but you could have been talking about my dear son and he is NOT adopted! He wants so much to be a man and in his mind he IS and doesn't understand why I still treat him like a child and expect him to respect me. This being said, not even a week ago this young "man" actually sat on the living room chair with his hands over his ears, shaking his head and making noise like a tantruming child! Later, when he had calmed down I asked him if he could picture the president of the USA ever, EVER doing that behavior... I pointed out that this is not the behavior of an adult let alone an almost 18 year old young man! I think that one hit home! I would like to say that his twin sister is a dream in comparison but it scares me to say because just when the words pass my lips it might change and I would regret the day I ever said it. So I am not saying it! (but...) :)
I do think it is easier when you have them from birth just because when they are big monsters at times, during the late teen years you can close your eyes and remember them as their sweet little selves and it keeps you from killing them! LOL
Hang in there Vickie and all, this too shall pass. These are the labor pains of adulthood.

Chad and Kristy said...

Guess what friend! Chad's transmission went out this week!! Don't ya love it! I thought of you when it happened...seems like we got the same luck:/ oh well...God will provide in a mighty way!Isn't He great like that:)