Friday, November 11, 2011

A Noodle Kinda Day

Woke up this morning to snow flurries.  The kids LOVE snow even flurries, 'cause they think it means Christmas comes sooner.  Ha Ha on them.

The kiddos were all off school and started their day picking at each other, like a bunch of siblings or something. Ha ha on me.

Just a typical day off. Our lunch consisted of (no surprise here) noodles.  The kids LOVE them, with egg, tuna, dry, hot sauce, cooked, you name it, they can't resist their noodles. Thank Goodness for us they are cheap-o.  Like 19 cents a pack cheap.

I sat Chase and Chance down and we had a chat.  Kinda. Okay it really was just me talking, like a lecture, which I hated it when my mom did that, but I did it anyway.  Because Chance decided to get mad at Camden over something stupid and when I told him to knock it off he yelled at ME. 

OIY.  And Chase had yet to speak to me from the other day when he got mad.  As much as it is easier to have him NOT speaking to me, it's not accomplishing anything either.  (Mom do NOT call me and remind me how I got mad and refused to speak to you as a teen and tell me it's pay back time- it's sooo not pretty when you gloat)

I told them both they are responsible for their behaviors, and their behaviors need adjusted As in yesterday.  Because they got a good family here, they got amazing opportunities here, but they also have work here. Work to blend in.  Work to learn the culture, the language and how to be a part of this family.  That we CAN'T make them do what they need to do. But we can expect them to modify their behavior to make things work. And it is expected.  They understand what we want.  It's up to them to man up and do it.

Chase is totally stuck.  His issue?  Fairness.  He struggles wanting everything to be FAIR.  Within our family.  And I got really honest with them.  I told him if he spends his life looking for fairness he is going to be miserable. That even with the same rules I am not going to punish him the same as Kat if they both break the same rule.  And he may see that as unfair.  It could go on and on. 

I *hope* I got through to him.  I don't know if I did.  He can be very selfish.  As all teens are.  He wants things to be his way.  He said he can tell dad how to do something and dad may consider it or not.  But that I see it as him being bossy.  He doesn't understand me. 

That's when I broke it to him.  I'm a  FEMALE. I'm not dad. I'm more complex, I get irritated at things dad doesn't.  But that none of those things give him the right to be disrespectful to me.

That just as I have learned what he likes to do, wear, eat, etc, he has to learn about me and accept ME for who I am. An imperfect human who is trying her hardest to parent him.  Teach him. 

He is one tough cookie.  Chance came and hugged me, apologized and told me he loved me.  Chase went to his room.  Let's hope some time to think will help Chase.  Pray for him, will ya?

He is such a special person and I know this is so hard.  It hurts me to see any of my children struggle, but I can't fix this for him. It's his choice to make.

Such difference in personalities.  Chase so serious and stubborn, Chance easy going and willing to work on things. Both equally important to me, I so badly want to see them succeed in this world.  And to do that it needs to start at home.

Kat and Camden are thrilled tonight, we have company.  3 kiddos, foster kids of my aunt. Just their ages, except the little guy, who is almost 2.  They are having a blast playing.

Chloe is in a great mood, she hugged me three times today! I also got two kisses and an "I love you!  First hug was when I got a phone call and when I hung up said "Thank God my van is done. I get my wheels back."  She was happy for me.  Then when she asked if she was getting to go to the sleepover at the church for 11-11-11.

  And I said yes.  The third was when she went to leave for the sleepover. A hug, kiss and "I love you."  WOW.  She has her moments, but she has come a long way in learning to be a daughter.

She gives me such hope for the boys.  Really.  Made me feel loved.  And we all need that, right?

I was glad for those of you who reminded me teens all over are the same, it doesn't matter if they are adopted or not.  It is an encouragement since it it reminds me how normal my kids are and that I can just expect them all to act pretty much the same at some point.  At least they seem to take turns pushing mother's buttons, huh?

To Kristy, our van issue was some torque thingy, my brain went into a twist when the mechanic started to explain it and I cut him off and said "uh, just tell me it works now and how much, please."  And it was a little over $1,000.  OUCH.  But I did say I thought I loved him to the mechanic, hey I was told he couldn't even get to it this week so today's call saying it was done after 11 days without it, made me downright giddy.

To all our vets today- thank you.  Thank you for the freedom you fight for us to have.  Thank you for serving this country.  THANK YOU. You are deeply appreciated in this house. For sure.

1 comment:

Sue said...

it is amazing how our teens have so much to learn when it comes easy to us. Erin has been home for just over a year now, and there are still so much she needs to learn about what is all entitle in a family, yet on the other hand she has learn so much about what it means to be in a family.