Thursday, September 29, 2011

Need Help

You all KNOW how much I love my kids. You KNOW there isn't much of anything I wouldn't do for them.

You also know that some of them didn't come to us as cute lil' buggers, but as bigger buggers. And we love them deeply.

It's just at times we run into things that are difficult and I am stumped as to the best way to handle it. So I come to here for help, 'cause you all- my bloggy friends are THE BEST.

You never fail to help. It's one of very best things about blogging. Sharing these kiddos and their blessings with you.

The dilemma- the twins have picture time coming up and this is their last year in Middle School. So as they take the pics for the year and are putting together the year book, they are asking for- you guessed it-- baby pictures.

Something we do not have. Not a one.

So I told the kids I would "take care of it" and Chloe looked at me like I had totally lost my mind (no wonder, huh?)

And as I rack my brain for a way to help them- they want to fit in and be like everyone else these are the (crazy) ideas I think of--

I've heard of age regression pictures, Problem-I doubt we could afford them.

Send in 2 pictures of Kat as a baby- at least it's still someone in the family? Problem- they really don't look that much alike.

Pick out pics of kids from Henan and send them in. Problem- is that even legal? I don't really feel right doing that.

Ask any readers with Henan kids to compare any baby pics they have of their precious gems and if they are similar to Chloe or Chance to allow us to use them-

Problem- not sure anyone would want to do that?

I want to give the kids what they can't have. I know, I l know, I can't fix everything. But I want them to have a picture that if they chose, they do NOT have to tell anyone it isn't really THEM. And I will let it up to them, who they tell.

So they can be like everyone else. They had a beginning. I just don't have record of it:(

Any one else have any other suggestions? I'm open to them, let 'em rip.


Jenny said...

Hi! I am in the process of adopting two 5yr olds (almost 6yrs) from China, a boy and a girl:) The youngest pictures I have of them is at about 2 yrs old. You are more than welcome to use them if you would like. Email me if you would like to:) I am more than happy to help out. Jenny

CherryBomb2 said...

If they share you sense of humor, get all three to agree to allow a photo of them to be taken , today, with each in a Baby Bonnet, with a Baby Bottle in the foreground and a pacifier in their mouths.

It would be obvious the Photos were of them but not 10 or 15 years ago. The year Book would have to agree to use the photos because of the special circumstances. You can talk or intimidate them into doing it. Okay ?


Vanessa said...

Do you know anyone who is artistic, that could maybe draw a likeness of them as a baby? It wouldn't be a photograph, but it would at least be a 'picture' of them with their features and not someone else's pic (I understand why you would think to do that, but I can see how that might make them feel funny, too, KWIM?). Hope this helps!

Sue said...

I have wished for pictures of Erin of her younger just so I could have. I neever thought of this situation. Do the kids by any chance have QQ? Erin has shown me pictures that people at the orphanage has taken of her when she was a little bit younger, perhaps someone they know in China took picturs of them when they were younger.

mapsmom said...

This is hard! I'd say to contact the art department at the college where your Chinese buddy students come from. Since you already have a relationship with the school, they may be more willing to help you out. See if there is an art student who will draw possible baby pictures for them. It would probably help the art student if they could see any pre adoption pics you have from China.
If you use photos of different people then the teens may be faced with questions they can't answer and judgements from other teens that could cause much worse social backlash than not having a picture. Using sketches made from sitting with the kids and any past records you have, the teens could honestly say that the baby images were recreated because any originals were lost in China.

yablomx10 said...

Vickie, it's Mal. When I first read this I thought about suggesting that they draw or someone draw them as a baby.. but I really like the idea of taking pictures of them in a baby hat or bonnet and a binky! That's really cute and I think Chance especially would find the humor in it. :)

Jerry and Christy said...

You could do what the mom did in The Blind Side movie. She took a picture from an ad and used it as his baby picture. I know it sounds hokey. It's so hard when they just want to fit in. I would ask the kids if they have any ideas.

~Monica Utt~ Itty Bitty Land said...

I think Jenny's idea is a great quick fix and very nice of her! I would offer my twins but they were blonds at that age. LOL
I would look into this web site, down the road, when you are able:
They do age regression for $99. I think all your children would love to have a picture of themselves from when they were little.
God bless,


Adrian Roberta said...

I would simply use the earilest photo I have of them, and leave it at that. No excuses, no shame. But I would allow the kids to take the 'lead' in this discussion. It's a toughy.....

Michele said...

How young is the youngest you have? I'm thinking it isn't young enough, sigh. So hard. I'm not sure what to do with this. I do like the baby bonnet idea, if your kids are up for it. Hope you figure out a good solution. What do the kids say?

Ironsan said...

Use a photo of a baby from the back or side profile. Any baby with dark hair will do. Nobody will be able to tell who it is really is and it is still a baby photo. It could be a friend's photos or ones you find on the internet. It won't really matter. Otherwise you could use photos of baby hands or feet. Close up shots. Again it won't matter whose they really are. You could probably even use some of Kat and just crop them.

traceylynndel said...

While you are looking into this don't forget to include their older brother. He may not ask now but it may become important to him down the line.

Corlia said...

I'd pick a cartoon or drawing of a chinese baby... You can not have the real thing, so something to represent them as babies??

Chad and Kristy said...

We did the photo recreation thing... it was $100 and as you know I know have picture of Anna Li as a baby thanks to her China family... and they look nothing like the pictures I paid for!! So wouldn't that be the same as picking some random pic off the internet.... just saying:)


Liesl said...

Vicki, I am a fond reader of your blog and though I've never met you, have LOVED reading your adventures! We adopted from Kunming about 3 years ago and we found an infant pic of our daughter with help from someone here in the US who researches the local newspapers in China for the "infant abandonment" ads. Not sure if yours will fit into that, being as they were older. BUT I'm wondering if he could help - email me at if you are interested and I'll send you his contact info. He was reasonable (about $15 maybe?) and very reliable and honest. Hope I can help!

Shannon said...

Hi Vicki! This is Shannon....hey, just a thought. I'm not sure what the format they have for the picture but you also could write a letter or note for them in that spot. Using the space to tell them publically what a gift they are to you.
That is totally just a suggestion, it may not fit with your kid's desires or what the yearbook is doing. Just trying to think outside the box but still keep it special :)

Carla said...

Do they have any friends, or do you know any friends with kids their ages, who would be willing to do a "young child" photo instead of a baby photo? That way they could still use their youngest age photo and not stand out if someone else (or two or three) were doing the same thing?

When we ask for "baby photos" we try to ask for about 5 or younger.

angelchica said...

Honestly, I would either have pictures drawn of the twins at an earlier age or I would simply submit pics of them when they were younger. I wouldn't use someone else's pics, just because you probably don't want to teach them that its better to lie than to be different. Goodluck figuring this out.

Janelle said...

I went through this with my adopted kids. I finally just sent in the earliest pics I had. Many other yearbook photos were other than baby pictures, as it turned out. Even though they were not babies in the photos, they were obviously younger and different looking and it worked out fine.

Mel said...

Honestly, I don't like the idea of using pics of other kids. I have two children who were adopted from China, and it stinks the things they don't and won't ever know, the pics that are missing, etc. But, the idea of using someone else's pic just doesn't sit right with me (since you asked and all LOL). If you belong to the yahoo group for your kiddos orphanage, you may be able to put out a message there asking if anyone has younger pics of them. If I remember, they weren't all that young when they arrived at the SWI, but still, it would be younger. As hard as it is, the best approach in my opinion is to just deal with this head on, no matter how hard it is to come to terms with the fact that all those years are missing, and likely always will be. To me, it's better to face reality than delay or sugarcoat it. Maybe there's something else they could contribute to the yearbook, like the newspaper headlines in China the day they were born, etc. That info shouldn't be too hard to track down. Also, do you have copies of their finding ads? Or did they not have them?? Good luck in whatever you decide. Sometimes being adopted just stinks! And, that's the truth!

Ruth Marie said...

Vic as an adopted child I dont have any baby pictures either we would just use the youngest we had or did nothing i dont like the idea of using someone else because that is not them and they should not be ashamed of who they are It id not like it is a secret that they are adopted any ways the whole school knows so I think there would be more question if a baby picture showed up but a drawling might not be a bad idea

~Monica Utt~ Itty Bitty Land said...

I change my mind. LOL After reading what other have written, I think just useing the youngest pictures of your children that you can get would be the best. :)

MJ said...

I'm assuming they are too old to have been born when finding ads began in china:


this service is expensive and you may come up empty but who knows.

Marny in Maryland said...

I think I would use the oldest picture I have of them. The point of this activity is to show how the kids have changed over the years, and hopefully you will have pics that reflect that. I agree that many others probably won't bring baby-baby pictures, either -- there will be a lot of toddlers and preschoolers. I might find a time to have a conversation with the school and see if they would think about changing the "assignment" to "a picture of yourself from before" or "a picture where you look different than you do now." Yours might not be the only kids who don't have pictures for a variety of reasons (adoption, family disruption, etc).

On the other hand, if your kids really don't want to stand out, I wouldn't hesitate to find cute Asian babies on flickr and use their pictures . . .