Friday, March 11, 2011

Happiness and hardship

The kids had off school today. Not that I got to sleep in. Nope. Phone call from mom, stating Japan had an earthquake, did I know if my older brother was okay?

Thank God, he is. Without power, but him and the family are all okay. I'm closest to my big brother, even with the distance issue, so this was a great relief to hear.

Although it's terrible to see the devastation that has occurred and thinking of the families affected and did lose family members:(

I got the weekly updates for Chase and Chance from their teachers. One in particular said Chase is making amazing progress in her class. So much that other students (uh, no surprise here, they were girls) had come to her crying in HAPPINESS for him. It's a leadership class and they are learning how they MUST depend on one another. Trust.

She said he is clearly becoming more comfortable and feeling a part of his peer group. Sharing things, learning things, not shutting himself off from people. It's funny because if you know him like we do, you can see him shut off. Like a blind going down over the face. Done.
And we aren't seeing this much anymore. I love his progress. I told him this morning he was just so cute I had to kiss him and he said "okay, go ahead" and held out the cheek:) I just love him so much.

Can't have too much progress going on though, no way. Chance slammed right into his "brick wall of life" again today. Head first- slam. It all started with something quite innocent, which is usually how it goes. He has been getting rude toward Camden at times.
And honestly, Camden is no angel. So he sometimes does things back. But Chance started something then wanted Camden in trouble when it went too far.

And when I called CHANCE out on it, he got MAD. He cried. He yelled. He told me I was "annoying." And we had "the talk". This is your life. You chose- each and every day, the same as we all do, am I going to get up, do my best, or am I going to sit around miserable, unhappy, crying, mad? That WE can't fix this for him, he has to find his way, but that we will not give up on him.

He's learning to be a big brother which is tough, but he must. There's no other choice. He will have Kat, Camden as his younger sibs.
And that honestly, I have to watch him that he doesn't fall back on his bad behavior he had when he first came here toward Camden and think I will side with HIM (Chance).

I told him that Chloe went through the same thing. As well as Chase. And even Kat, although less difficult for Kat. It's the acceptance of what is good here. Having a family and all that comes with that. And accepting that not all of it may be super but his life can be great here, depending on his decisions.

He wasn't thrilled to get "the lecture" again, but at least I feel like he understood me quite well, no language barrier to keep him from "getting it." So hopefully this will help him to move forward. He tries really hard at times, but then other times he will do things he knows is wrong, or he will get in trouble for. Testing. We totally understand. It's hard to see his struggle, because we love him so much.

I asked that brother (Chase) and sister (Chloe) to talk to their wayward brother and both of them sounded identical when they said "No way, no thanks." Ohh, okay. Let him suffer is the motto?? I guess so. I know they feel he is being a "drama king" and they don't have a great deal of patience with that.
Might be better that they didn't talk to him, he went to his room upset, took a nap and came down later behaving much better.

I got my CPR card, my second TB test, clearances and I am ready to go to work. Yeah! I can hardly wait. I'm ready to work. When Chase asked me what my CPR card was for and I told him he said "good job." I guess he's ready for mom to go to work.

Looking forward to the weekend, hoping to see some progress on the house plans. Just waiting on others now, not much WE can be doing. Just leaning and trusting on God, knowing His timing is perfect and everything will work out according to His plan.

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