Saturday, December 11, 2010

Annoying

Tis' the season to be driven insane, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

And they're doin' it. FAST.

They started a few days ago, when Chance "upped the ante" when he went from using "your son" (since I say "well- that's YOU") when he comes to tattle on Camden, to "your BELLY son." Yep, I know, you are gasping in shock right along with me. Oh, that's right, I wasn't as surprised as I was M-A-D!

And I let the THREE of them know "that's IT." You have a choice to call Camden by his name or say "my brother" that's IT. No more "your son, belly son," or what ever insult they would've thought of next. And it goes for Kat as well. No "the daughter who was here first." (Yeah, I've heard that). Not going there anymore with you 3. Soooo done.

At first it was just a reference, we knew that, but they are getting English enough that they can understand when I tell them something is rude or not be said and this was crossing the line into insulting.

Next came Chase's love of "I don't care." That has been forbidden for good as of today when he has continued to misuse it to not listen and threw it out at me when he had about $1 in change missing and he immediately blamed Camden. And I told him, at least 5 kids were in his room this week, that he could NOT accuse someone without seeing the person doing it. That I was not going to tolerate the picking at Camden.

I told him straight up, "you got us as parents, you may be happy about that, but we came with children, including CAMDEN and you have to accept him as your brother. LIKE IT OR NOT." I pointed out Chance is in the room, yet he didn't accuse HIM of taking his money.

The last and final straw was Chloe's use of "cheaty and lying." While referring to anything that displeases her. Not always nice when you are sitting in church and tell her to move over for someone to join us and out she comes loudly with "YOU cheaty ME." Or saying we "LIED"over silly things that we DIDN'T lie about, it might have been due to plans changing, something that is out of our control.

Just so you don't think we are raising perfect children besides the trio, Donovan got out of hand last night toward Chase when the kids were in the teen room at church (20 kids) and someone put DONOVAN in charge, which went right to his head. We had our Sunday School class Christmas Party downstairs. He started bossing Chase which threw Chase into defensive mode so we had to address that.

Donovan wasn't getting that the teens were NOT going to behave like 14 and 15 year olds that had grown up in our family their whole lives. That we don't even think about their "number age" but more their maturity and are teaching them.

I could've laughed till I cried- had I started-- because as of now I've had to explain (again) to Donovan that the teens have orphanage behaviors and issues, and to the teens (numerous times) that Camden and Kat will not act like kids from an orphanage like the teens expect them to. Another reason to promote foster care, it'ssoooo important long term for children all over the world.

Then Chloe had to be reminded that she needs to think before she speaks, she's been a "real rip" as we say in these parts when some one's being a bit too spunky and crossing the line to downright rude. She made some comment about not liking her family, to which I was able to stay calm and say "Chloe, do you really mean that? Or is it something we talked about that you say without thinking and it's hurtful?"

She's continued on to work on my insanity by wanting a coat, she has $8 saved and wanted me to give her money to get a coat, which we have a rule of no buying stuff this close to Christmas, we never know what Santa is bringing so it's a no-go. She wouldn't let up on it, or anything, I was getting all questioned out. I told her she had surpassed her "questioning quota" of the day.

At this point it's barely 1 pm and I was worn out. DONE. So I sent Baba to the store, he was crazy enough to take everyone but Chase, who didn't want to go. I wasn't nice enough to tell him bad weather is predicted for tomorrow, meaning everyone in the county freaks out and heads to the store for milk and bread, as if they will not make it out to the store for a month, as well as it being one of two Saturdays left till Christmas which = total chaos at Walm*rt.

It took them quite awhile and I spent that free time taking a nice, long, undisturbed nap to recharge and be able to handle another go round with the crew. A call later to my BFF to dump on her how ANNOYING my children were being, since she understands that I love them to death, but sometimes they drive me NUTS.

Chance's NO- NO word? "ANNOYING." I'm sick of hearing it. Banned. He's such a love, he came to me last night and said " In Ch*na, I mean, how I be better here?" I told him, "stop saying everything is annoying, it's not nice, and be nicer to your brother, Camden. You can be friends." He said "okay, I start tomorrow." (It was bedtime) and today he really WAS better.

The kids did seem to get it that they were putting me on "overload" and since being fed their all time favorite "chicken patties" they are watching a Christmas movie and chillin'. Phewww. Sometimes I really have to take it hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute, but I am never doing any of it with out God.

None of it. I can't. Not one second. He keeps me going, He gives us the good times remember when these tough ones come up. He never leaves me when I am trying to teach children and I trust in Him to give me the words we need. These are His precious children that He has entrusted us with, so I know he is guiding us to raise them to adulthood.

Speaking of adulthood children-- one of our older boys is having some pretty major issues in his life right now, could we ask for prayers for him? I can't share more without compromising his privacy but it's a big storm he has to weather and we want to see him come through this intact and healthy.

We never stop loving them, no matter how big they get. Something I can tell Chance is starting to understand with him trying to pin me down as to when I will "stop bossing him." What age? And I assure him, we will be here for him, guiding him even when he becomes an adult. And if he considers it "bossing," well then, I guess he can just call me "Boss Momma." Ha ha!!

A day of baby steps, but still STEPS to move them forward. Lots of work, these 3 are, but it WORKS. They are worth it, so very worth it.

4 comments:

Holly said...

Oh, I am sure it is never easy...hang in there, sweet friend. And I will pray for your older son too.

Dawn said...

You are one great mom, So tell them I said so and every other mom in America agrees with me. That will sure out vote them... blessings

Heather said...

I always appreciate your honesty and it's so nice knowing that your kids annoy you just like mine do! I will say, however, from the outside looking in, your post is still kind of funny......only because I'm on the other side of it! LOL I so know what you mean though. Chance always seems like he is such a nice kid and really has a kind spirit that wants to please. Probably because he has you as a mom!

bbmomof2boys said...

{{{{hugs}}}}

Don't you just want to jump into their brains and see what they are thinking? (wait..maybe you dont!)

Your kids are such a treasure and I know how much you love them. Keep doing what you are doing, set the boundaries, love them, set the rules - you are AWESOME and you rock as their mom!

(belly son - that cracked me up!)

More hugs and prayers coming your way!

~Carla