Saturday, August 14, 2010

3 months home

Today is the Anniversary of 3 months that we brought the boys home. WOW. We will never forget the day we met the boys or the day we arrived on US soil when both our new sons became American citizens. Home safe. For good. With their sister, forever. As siblings, with the same family name again. A mom and dad that just wanted to love them and parent them all.

In honor of the boys' 3 month home anniversary, I am going to open myself up for questions. Anything. Ask away. Our goal with our blog has always been to be as open and honest as possible so we can help others adopting older kids with what to expect, what is fairly normal, so that others can see how worthy,bumpy, fun, crazy, annoying, loving, incredible older child adoption can be.

But I know that sometimes questions arise that I don't think to cover so I am asking you all to throw out there anything you wish to know, wondered about, that would help any parents considering adopting an older child.

I don't sugar coat, I don't feel that's right. Parents need an honest look at the journey to an older child, for them to be able to handle things and ask for help if they need it. I am not a saint. I do not have nerves of steel. I believe in preparedness. I have seen people go into older child adoption unprepared. I am happy to say the majority of people I know do not do this. It's a decision made with tons of preparation, learning and willingness to accept.

It helps no one to not be prepared and have the adoption not work out. You end up with a grieving family with a hole in their heart, and a child who feels they have been rejected AGAIN. Pain, all around. If it's for your family it can be a wonderful thing, but if not, then it's perfectly fine to admit that too. Any choice you make when adopting as long as you love your child, that should be all that matters.

Not age, country, sex, SN, cuteness. An orphan needs the love of a family- they ALL deserve that.

So go on, ask anything you've been wanting to know? Go for it. Don't be shy:)


峻胡邦慧v帆 said...
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The Raudenbush Family said...

Can you come check out a new Christian adoption website? I think you would have a lot to offer there on the forum and in the blog itself. You clearly have a lot of experience in adoption. Would love for you to check it out and offer some encouragement to others!

Cara said...

I love your family's story and began reading your blog while you were still paperchasing for the boys. I often wonder about Chloe, Chase, and Chance's birth mother. I know you talked about her briefly in a previous post regarding some insight into a disability and how the children were taken from her. Is she often topic of conversation in your household? Do the kids want to try to find their family? I guess I can't think of exact questions, but I'm just curious how you deal with this hard issue. Thanks for your willingness to offer us insight into you personal life. You truly are an educator for families involved with all aspect of adoption.

Holly said...

Is it difficult feeling bonded to an older child?

Chris said...

How do you do the bonding thing w/ a child that can't be bottle fed and is almost too big for your lap?
In about 3-1/2 weeks I will be the mom to a 10 y.o. boy. I have some ideas to promote bonding, but think I need all the help I can get.
He will be the middle child of 6 kids