Not only would the boys have eaten them but we have issues. I've been quite honest about the good and the bad and I'm gonna vent. Big time. About that daughter o' mine.
We run into issues that obviously most people will not. I realize that. Doesn't make them any extra fun. Even if we do get three times the joy. Sister has been a snot. A real rotten SNOT. And no, that doesn't stand for Sweet, Nice, Overly Terrific. It stands for Stinkin', Nasty, Overly Terrible. SNOT. Good thing we love her as much as we do.
So what is that she has done?? I know, you are just dying to know. WELLLLL---- she decided to tell brothers that SHE didn't like little bro Cam and and that he is terrible (not perfect but not terrible either!) so that when they came here they had already decided not to like him. And he was THRILLED for them to come. SOOO looking forward to it. Now he is sad, upset and angry. Because the boys are hurting him. When I am not looking, when I am, they pretend to be nice, but they are still too rough with him. Both of them but Chance more so than Chase.
How did we figure this out? WELLL.. we skyped poor Jaxon who was a bit overwhelmed with the 3 goofs, who can't take turns talking, who can't keep from carrying on and yelling over one another, and she told him "she really didn't like her little brother". Not NICE. I mean, it's not as if she hasn't gotten along with him this past year, they have been buddies most of the time.
So then when we went out in the yard to get some pics, the boys started their usual when he got near them and I asked what was going on. I could see the guilt on Chloe's face and then Cam told me before he went running into the house upset. I even posted the pictures for you all to see, I mean do they think their mother is stupid?? If they do- WRONG ANSWER. And you can see SNOT's attitude in the picture as well, then how funny she thought is was that they chased Cam into the house upset. WOW, who is this girl?
So after we went inside and I talked with Baba, we had Chloe translate that this was unacceptable behavior and it better stop immediately. Then we talked or should I say reprimanded Chloe for her nonsense, telling her she should be ashamed to have sabotaged the boys coming here like that, she KNEW better.
We asked her how she would feel if the boys and her were here first then Cam came with a sibling and THEY ganged up on them and picked on them and made them feel horrible after they have looked forward to them coming for over a year? What if SHE had to share a room with people hurting her any chance they got?
Then I got really mad at her because I told her she was really making it harder for the boys, that her "translation" was only what SHE wants to tell them and it's going to stop. Here we are only 5 days from being home and having this BIG issue. I told her it was terrible that her brothers had to witness this and were probably standing there thinking we did not want them here and might even return them, and that made me really sad and hurt for THEM- I could see Chase was upset and I went over and hugged him and told him I loved him and held him. Chance was hanging next to sis snarling at me.
I told her it wasn't this way when she came home, she didn't get in big trouble and have to worry if we were taking her back, she was eased into issues we needed to work on. But that she is giving them a harder time of adjustment when she is doing what she is doing.
After that she was told she is grounded, she is not going to Hannah's tonight, as planned, and she is going to come up with some answers for what she is doing. She refused to speak, her usual coping method when faced with something she doesn't want to answer to. So she will get plenty of time grounded to figure out what she would like to say to us to work this out. I know it's hard for her to take on the responsibility to help her brothers but she is going to have to shoulder some of the burden, it's just how it is.
I have someone else coming to translate for us to the boys so they will understand what the issue is and we will know what is being said to them. We also want to make it clear that Cam can not being doing things to them, he is not a favored child here, a very common idea for these new kids. Chloe thought when she first came and Kat was doing stuff to her she couldn't tell us as Kat was here first. I don't want any of them to think they will be able to rule my roost and pull stunts on the others. They must become siblings, all of them. I did tell Chloe as well, I am not raising the 3 of them separate from Cam and Kat, I can't.
And funny enough, they accept Kat. No issues with her at all. Although they do the same as Chloe, Kat is very cuddly and often Chloe does not want to be hugged, so she pushes Kat aside. Kat has become used to this and doesn't take offense to it, it's just how they are. Older kids often aren't used to how much we touch, hug and are affectionate with one another. They are not told "I love you" even in a normal Chinese household. Makes me sad for them to miss out on something so essential to us, just a hug can make things so much better.
Another thing we have not really seen yet but I know Jaxon's mom has been dealing with is the issue of trust. When we ask the kids "how was your day, what did you do?" They look at us like "what did I do wrong?" They have not had to answer to anyone, I know our boys went to school, went out to play and as long as they were back at bedtime no one asked where they had been, did they do their school work. If they were questioned about anything it was because they were in trouble. Any attention toward them is usually met with concern from them.
Chloe very much still has some issues with that, it took MONTHS for her to learn if we are looking at her she is not in trouble. She comes off with "what?" when we look at her. We do not see this with her brothers, I was looking at Chase last night, thinking what a nice kid he is, and he smiled at me, then I kept looking just to tease him a little and he looked over again and then laughed. I had to laugh because I knew if he had the English to say "what?" he would have.
Chance and I are getting along a ton better than we did in China, that little bugger worried me. But other than his following sister down the wrong path, he is doing wonderful. He is very helpful to me, anything he sees me doing he will jump right in to help. It cracks me up that the "man" of the family, Chase, sits back and tells Chance to help me. Although he will help with things as well, even on his own.
Both of them are bored and want to go to school, with only 14 days left, there's really no point. I enjoy having them here during the day to myself and getting to know them without sister and it is building a strong bond with them. It also gives me the time to get to know them better and they are learning to rely on me for their needs.
Speaking of needs, we are off to the grocery store today, we need more of everything, including the potatoes, good guesses for the "2" but it was 2 servings, one for them, one for Chloe when she got home. I NEVER would have gotten that from the 2 fingers he held up to tell me 2 :)
Also loving the fun you all are having in my comment section, thanks for the laughs, I need them about now! At least I got to vent, I feel better already. It's an adventure, alright. Still glad I signed on for it:)