Friday, May 28, 2010

Chase and the Diva

Chase is my quiet one. Doesn't give me any trouble at all. Helpful. Very picky about his belongings and his hair, clothing. He is a fun one though because every time we look at him he smiles. It's like he can't help it. And if we keep looking he smiles more and then nods "yes." It's like he's confirming "yes, he's here, he's real."

Chloe, his loving and wonderful sister, told him he "doesn't have eyes when he smiles." Isn't she so nice? NOT.

For many months I prayed about this child, we knew we were approved for some time for Chance but the big unknown was Chase. We had him named. We felt he was our son, as well as the twins. But we didn't know HOW it was going to happen. I told God, "you know my heart, I can't go to China and leave this boy, I just can't."

I would have been heartbroken. To know we wanted him so badly and he wanted to come but for a RULE we couldn't parent him? I couldn't bring myself to think of us NOT being able to bring him home.

To see him sit on our couch today, smiling, he rarely isn't smiling, knowing we came back for him, he KNOWS how much we wanted him. I can see his puzzlement when I mention God brought them home, when Chloe translates and he doesn't know what we mean by that. But he will:)

This young man is a true blessing and I know he has a special purpose in life. Won't it be fun to watch his life unfold? I give both boys a kiss on the cheek every day and tell them I love them. Chance usually wipes my kiss off, but Chase just lifts the cheek up knowing I HAVE to do it:) I love them so much.

Chase just helped me to get stinky brother to get in the shower today. Chance was arguing with me that he could wash his face and not change his clothes, that only his feet were dirty and he was trying to wash them with tissues and the spray bottle of water we use for hair fixing in the mornings.

So I called Chase up and told him to make brother take a shower and he gave him the dickens. It worked, I now have 2 clean boys:) No problems with Chase, he is very eager to stay clean and keep his hair just so. He tried it down for a day, I think I like it both spiked and down.

Chase is all concerned he will gain weight, yeah, his skinny butt? As he tried to go without lunch yesterday and Gie Gie #1 was visiting, I told him he needed to come get lunch. He said "no" and hand motioned his belly getting bigger and bigger. So he got Mama's evil eye. Gie Gie laughed so hard when Chase gave in and came out to eat. He said "wow mom, you even span languages!"
Uh, yeah-- no language required to understand you are making momma unhappy and we don't go there:)

The boys called the orphanage the other night. I was surprised to hear "mama, mama" and asked Chloe what are they saying about me. Then she told me they called one of the caregivers "mama." I'm going to be REALLY honest here and tell you I felt a twinge (okay so it was a STAB) of jealousy.

But then I thought more about it and I asked God to help me with it and I realized, this meant my sons had someone who meant enough to them to earn that title. In an orphanage. They had a bio mother, who I am not sure of the amount of respect they had for her with her disability and inability to care for them, not that they could totally understand at their ages.

So for them to build this with a woman who merely cared for these boys each day, that's a blessing. No need to be jealous, they aren't solely MINE anyway, they can have the love of many and it doesn't take away from me. I was glad to be able to step back and see what it meant to the boys. And they came to me able and willing to make ME their forever mama. They do not hesitate to call me mama.

Also the mama of the DIVA, Miss Kat, who last night was asking if she was in trouble. She threw her hamburger away from supper and Chloe saw her do it. Then she lied about it. Thing is, she couldn't STAND that she had lied and wanted to be punished, she ASKED to be punished. I don't think I have any worries of her becoming a pathological liar and landing in jail.

But she did want to know if she needed to go to jail, ahh, my little DRAMA Queen. I asked her if she thought she belonged there and she said "yes!" In her most dramatic tone. She had to settle for her room, where she cried then said "can I come down now, I think I'm done." Oh, and she asked "What's a Diva, is that a bad thing or a good thing?"

I don't know honey, maybe you can let ME know, okay?


Dawn said...

My daughters China orphanage required all the kids to call the nannys Mama AND their husbands daddy! I do not blame you for feeling a twing.. they are YOUR kids! I would feel the same. And for MY daughter calling them mama made it so I had more of a hard time making her understand what that really meant!

Heather BT said...

My daughter also called the Ayi at her foster home X Mama. One in particular Ho MaMa, was just a huge blessing to her and the other older kids. Even though I did have the twinge, I had so much thankfulness that she was loved and cared for by this woman that all I can do is praise her.

Last year, when she came home, she would wear the same clothing for 3 days if we let her, because that was what was normal, to save water. On Tuesday, she came home and said that she needed a shower and her clothing washed before a concert, because she had sweated. She had only worn her concert outfit for 45 minutes! She got the shower, but the clothes were fine. When I told her about the changes in attitude in the past year, boy did she laugh.

Lara said...

I know the hurt too. My Chinese Sweetie lived in her foster home for 5 years of her life. At 7 and home for almost 1 1/2 years, she still misses her "Chinese Mama." My heart hurts, especially given some of the details she reveals about her life there. But this was her "family," and I'm thankful for all the love and care they gave her.

Sammy said...

We've adopted older kids and it sounds like they have some of the same issues. As far as them calling someone else momma... it will maybe take time for them to get the forever part and the legal part. At least it did with Arden. She kept saying a lady had adopted her that just took her home once in awhile.