Saturday, April 10, 2010

A free Saturday

Fostering for us, has been an educating journey, one we wouldn't change for anything. From our #1 boy, a teen whom we adore to this day and would have kept in a second, to the harder teen girls with their exteriors of brick and pain filled souls, to our precious little man Tristan who lived and died with us, onto the brothers with autism that kept us hopping and laughing to the present ones. I don't write much about the foster children we have, the issue is not that they aren't important, but that we can not share much about them. We have 2 sisters right now ages 7 and 6.

For the first time since we started fostering we asked for respite. This means they go to another approved foster home for the weekend or longer, depending on the situation. Ours have gone for the weekend and will go for our trip for the boys. Why? Honestly-- they are wearing us out. As cute as the buggers are, they have some huge issues that have negatively affected our kids already here. Which places us in the position of protecting our kids from, well... them.

NOT a good place to be in. The girls have some coping skills that are not good. Terrible, in fact. And they can't help it. We know this. But it's hard to recall this when the big nasty behaviors surface and we are coping with them on a daily basis with no improvement. Another issue DONE to them, learning delays from things done to them- things they will possibly NEVER be able to learn.

One has pitted herself against Kat, who remains now as loving and willing to forgive her for most anything. But we know long term we can not let this continue. Funny enough, this child said "I'm a foster kid" and after 3 years of fostering Kat had to ask me, "what's a foster kid?" She really didn't know. We do not treat them any different than ours and ours are expected to accept them as siblings and do, they call them their sisters and brothers. And for good. (makes for some interesting conversations with people:)

Chloe has had some difficulties understanding "why" we foster. To her, you only have foster family if you have NO family, so to tell her they have parents but have issues that the parents can't take care of them but still see them, to her, is incredible. She has said "why they stay here, they have mother, why she no take them, and they not behave why we have them." It's teaching her to care for others and their situations as well as her own self. She can use a lesson in sympathy, she doesn't look for it for herself from her past, so she is very intolerant of others having issues from their past.

So we will recharge this weekend, we are off to shop, not many funds but the boys need a few things I haven't picked up on clearance over the past year, just this week I found the kids shirts for a buck, yep, a dollar! Gotta love Walm*rt, left over from St. Patty's Day, aren't they the neatest? I got one for Chloe, Chase and Chance. Too cool if you ask me:)

And we need a gift for Hannah's birthday. Chloe was just sure we'd be on our trip over Hannah's birthday so she is very happy now that she will be here for next weekend:)
It will be a quiet weekend with the 2 less, one of the few we will have before the boys come. I'm going to enjoy it, because we need to recharge.
Today did start well, even though I woke up thinking yeah, if I stop eating altogether now I could potentially lose 30 pounds before going on our trip. (MOM- do not call me with threats of doctors and hospitals if I try this)
I had the best of intentions then here came Cam with this----

Now how was I gonna say "no thanks" to that?
And am I going to watch Chloe pig out at her fave Chinese restaurant when we go shopping?
I am just going to accept that the boys will learn to love fluffy momma just as Chloe has and those women who did my laundry last trip??
They'll know.... I'm BACK.........

3 comments:

Dawn said...

WEll, from one "fluffy" momma to another trust me they will love ya... and never see any one but YOU, Mamma!
blessings

Dawn

Anita A. said...

I just want you to know I am praying for you. Sometimes I look at people and families and say, "Lord, why can't I do what they do?" And I am tempted to feel guilty. We have 1 bio child and 1 (China) adopted child. This has been such a blessing and so we have pursued further adoptions of special needs children in China. But b/c of my husbands past medical history we have been denied. This has been very difficult. And yet, I think, "Why don't we foster/adopt?" My husband and I are not on the same page about this and so I wait....

In the meantime I will be traveling with my 12 yo son to Kenya to care for orphans with World Orphans. Maybe God just has different plans for us.

All this to say, I love that you care for "children from the hard place". I will be praying for you and your family. You are making an eternal impact on so many--but certainly your children.

Sue said...

Love the shirt. For you to open your house to foster kids, is truly amazing. Enjoy your weekend. And love Cam treat