It's funny that Baba says he never remembers his dreams but frequently I do. I woke this morning with the saddest memory of a dream. I had birthed a baby who was Chinese (of course). She was soo incredibly gorgeous. She had a cleft lip and palate. I was very young and she died because of MY inability to care for her with her disabilities. I even knew her name- Cecilia, odd as I have never even LIKED that name. How weird is that???
Now don't be telling me this is something to come in my life, I usually can pinpoint certain parts of a dream with something my mind mulled over during my day before.
I'm missing our baby boy. Odd how sometimes I can go days and days and just think of how wonderful he was to have even been blessed to be a part of his life- a total honor. Then sometimes I feel such an intense longing for him it's downright painful. I have already decided my "Heaven" will be rocking my baby boy with my other children all around me playing happily for eternity.
I was so incredibly happy last night to finally get to see our foster boys that left in October. Their Dad has not been willing to maintain contact for the boys, we figured this would happen as the one was very bonded to me. Last night as we went to the girls' Christmas program I walked in and heard "Bickie, BICKIE. BICKIE" and as he got closer to me "MOM!!!" He landed in my arms and was so excited to see me. He ended up on my lap at half way through the program as he wouldn't stop turning around and waving at me:)
It was so good to see him, he looks good, he seems happy, the girls were thrilled to see him as well and Kat kept hugging him. I have had dreams that he came here by mistake and I had to call his dad so I can honestly say I have worried about him and his brother. I hugged him and told them we love them as we left, he wanted to come with us but he did okay when they told him he couldn't.
I wasn't even sure they would remember us but no doubt about it, we touched those boys lives.
Our new girls are doing well, getting settled, although I admit the girls are quite different than boys, or maybe it's just getting used to the balance of girls being greater than boys right now:)
The school did something really smart this year, with the economy so poor and our area being huge in unemployment they had the kids come to their Christmas program in pj's. Everyone has pj's but it's often hard for everyone to have dress up clothes. So they did the program like it was the "Night Before Christmas". I thought it was a super idea and our girls looked so stinking cute that even though I can't post a full pic of the girls I took the time to block out Em and Pip's (not real names) faces so you could see them:)
I was able to share our family story on Sunday, I did well from what I was told. I was really nervous but I wanted to do it to make people see what blessings God can have for you if you just open your heart. It was geared to promote adoption, foster care, even just helping any child as they are our future! They are so important and really, I can honestly say we get so much more from them that we ever give them, I have a spot in my heart for each and every one of our blessings, they stay there always:)
I ended our story with "BRING ON THE BOYS!"
We heard back from a grant we applied for and we are being recommended for a grant- WHOOO HOOO, we need it!! We are so thankful, it will come for travel time- another prayer answered. Not sure how much it will be but anything is a help!!