Friday, August 7, 2009

As we learn more

One of the things I think many people believe of adopting an older child is that "oh no" they come with memories. Well, really we all have history. This does not mean we take lightly that Chloe has seen, heard and been exposed to things we can't even begin to imagine. That some of it will come out and we will need to listen and comfort her as she needs to tell us these things, no matter what they are. We try very hard to make her understand we care, she can tell us anything, and if it's bad we are sorry she has seen or heard it.

Although she asked "you did it?" when I said I am sorry. I said "no, but makes momma sad Chloe see this in China." She then understands I am there to comfort her and she buries herself in my side and I am able to stroke her hair and allow her to cry if she needs to. Sometimes I cry with her. I thank God that I am able to make her feel better.

I think a big thing for her also is to understand all of China is not bad. She does not need to break her tie to China and only love America. Both countries have good and bad. She is a part of both, our hope is that she can understand it is okay to like some things of both and to dislike the wrongs of both. This is life.

She, at times, needs her link to China, mainly with her bros right now, as she worries about them, she cries for them. We called only to be told they were in bed, at 8 pm? We doubted it. But she needed to talk to someone, I could see it. So she tried her roomie and friend. Not home. So then she said she recalled an older girl's number that she wanted to call but she didn't know the international number to call and I did. So between the 2 of us, we hit pay dirt. Thank You God, just when she needed this! She talked away and called again, after nicely asking if we had enough $$ to call:) She's thoughtful like that. (We have an international calling plan so I got her covered:)

We finally got her brothers on the line-I got to speak to my boys, I was probably as happy as her!! Chase sounds so mature! I was thrilled to get confirmation he does, in fact, WANT to come here. Sounds simple but I told Chloe we could not force him to come if he did not wish to. She wasn't happy with this answer but all other contact we did not get to speak to him. So we are clear now, to move forward with every attempt we can possibly make to bring him home to be our son as well as Chance. He wants to be our son- we are very happy he wants us.

Speaking of Chance , he told Chloe he cries for her:( She told him we are coming, I am so glad she can reassure him of that. Otherwise I got to tell them both, in Chinese, hello, how are you and momma loves you. Then Chloe takes my phone away and I am sure she was telling them, "that's all she can say correctly."

I just know that these 3 siblings are truly God's precious ones and He had a plan for them all along. I am so thankful we were chosen for them, that they all 3 want to be within our family as the siblings they are.
We think our new sons are going to adore Miss Kitty, I mean who can resist her anyway? Our adorable and sweet girl took the time to "smell the roses"- as we all should in life, and she declared them, "YUMMY" smelling:)
Kat and Chloe decided to pick me flower buds, till they brought me one with a BEE in it and I screamed. I told them thank you, but no more:) They laughed like a bunch of nuts watching me trying to get rid of the flower asap. Glad to have amused you dear daughters, I'll get you back for that one!


Timothy said...

I see Chloe has really grown. Like every girl I've seen from China, a beauty.

Our daughter, now well over a year out of China, will at the oddest of times bring up memories of China, the good and bad and we cherish this hoping between the three of us we can help her preserve some of these for the future when she may forget some things.

I know I cannot remember many early memories, but most of mine were not trauma memories as many of these children of adoption have.

Thankful now that you do have Chloe and hoping soon both brothers.

Chelley said...

wow this post just makes me fall into a bunch of TEARS!!!

Chad and Kristy said...

Great post.. beautifully written. I am so glad that Chloe is doing so wonderful and opening up to you. It has taken us a long time to get Anna Li to open up about the hurt and pain she has experienced but I do feel like we are making small baby steps towards progress.

I so look forward to the day you get your boys home:)


Andi68 said...

That is wonderful she spoke to her brothers. This probably helped her in trusting you as well.
Her hair is getting so long,so fast. I wish my hair would grow that fast! Have a wonderful week!
Your cuz,Andrea

Shelley said...

How hard will the process be to get Chloe's oldest bro here? I am assuming the process is nothing like getting her other brother here. How are things going? Any idea when you will get to travel to China?

Kristin said...

I enjoy reading your posts. I am praying for you and your sons, good luck on the fingerprints tomorrow!