As we start a brand New Year, I find myself reflecting on the year past. How can we not?
As I think of the year, I can not think of any regrets! How cool is that? Usually I am pretty hard on myself. I'm fluffy, that's the first thing I regret, I didn't lose weight. My job, same one for 16 years, burn out time - regret to not look for another direction to take with my nursing skill. Regret to not spend enough time with God, not this past year. I GREW so much personally with God I am thankful for his presence in my life, that we are free to say that!
It's amazing to look back and know that I'm fluffy,my baby LOVED fluffy me. Our new boy LOVES fluffy me. I accept fluffy me, not to say I will not do anything about the fluff but I accept the fluff as a badge of honor, not as a burden.
Our baby, ohhh of course I gotta mention the baby. Wow. What a gift. No one else wanted to touch a child like him, many thought we were nuts, to take a child we KNEW would die? How could we? What about our kids? Well, he ended up showing us the amazing gift of pure love, to love with all your heart. He allowed us to learn many, many lessons, about caring for a disabled child, to the rudeness people face that are disabled, to fighting for his needs. My nursing went another direction and I found it was a direction I love. My skill was invaluable to him, he got a momma, nurse, caregiver, protector, all rolled into one. We were the PERFECT match for him.
Then as we grew from having to hand such a precious little man back to God, we were already in process and had found our Miss Chloe girl, going on blind faith, true BLIND faith that the funds we needed to complete her adoption would come, we got word we had been chosen for a grant. WOW> another leap of faith reward.
Our children have grown, they have been able to express their pain over losing the baby and have grown so much emotionally to know that to be different is a-okay. Tristan's death also allowed a terrible memory for Kat to surface and for her to obtain closure of it. That was such an amazing day, I wanted to cry for her so badly, to know something but not be able to tell it and know what happened, we had gotten hints of this issue from her since she came home but were not able to help her. Till Tristan.
Then came the boys. WOWSERS. What can I say. I never knew how involved autism is, how much it varies from person to person affected by it. My mother thinks the little guy "H" was put here to teach me some patience. NOT a strong suit for me, never has been, but I catch her chuckling ( NOT funny mom) when I tell her some of the things he does. He is a full time job, plus. Almost requires constant supervision. "S" is able to play and basically we have learned his quirks and are able to keep his outbursts to a minimum. He still has issues with being too loud, but he has come a long way. He tells me " you my best friend" -it's so funny.
H starts nearly every day "trying again" as we lose a huge portion of what he learned the day before, like the 5* first dates movie. Not as funny in real life, let me assure you:) I am sad for him, to have to go over everything again each day. He really tries too.
Our other wonder kiddos, I do not mention much, but they are well. Mal has a tough personal situation but she handles herself quite maturely and is a great help, she has blessed us with her goof of a boyfriend whom I really like, just don't tell him that. He didn't hesitate to hold our baby, soothe him and I was very impressed. He also fought to wear a skirt to play field hockey 'cause Mal plays. There's true love for ya!
Donovan has little patience for his younger siblings has learned with the new boys that Cam and Kat are not as annoying as he thought :) Guess he likes that they can be entertained with a movie or simple game.
The older boys are here often to bring me their laundry, borrow the car, and eat my food. I can't believe my oldest will be 24 this year, not that it means he is grown, other than in size. They all need their momma so I do not have to feel sad or lonely:) Such is why they have trouble understanding our adopting, they are happy to come back and act like teens again if it involves hand outs of money, ignoring chores and mom cooks:) Ha Ha guys, doesn't work that way- you had your turns.
They actually are great big bro's, the little ones are just thrilled when they come, I always hear " JAY" when he comes in and it's them. I bet he could never sneak in:)
Kat said to me today, I thought you said we go get Chloe tomorrow, one sleep. I said "NO, I said SOON." She said "ahhhh comm"on, what's with that?" Okay then. She clearly shares my impatience. H also thinks for some reason as he is trying to understand we have a girl named Chloe, that she belongs here, but we have to take a trip to go get her- he says "I'm going"- well, no, no you are not. It's not next door. He does not understand that at all. He's very funny.
Well, as I wrap up my overlook of the year in review, I must say 2008 was great. My New Year's resolution? Bring home Chloe, of course.
2009 the Year of Chloe. More blessings. We are honored to become parents again. We truely hope our journey will open eyes to the love of a child, 12,13, 14, doesn't matter, a child needs FAMILY. They are not TOO OLD> we are filled with joy at being Chloe's parents and wish for others to consider taking the chance on love, we assure you that you will be blessed.
We do not advocate just for Chinese children either. Foster if you can, be a mentor, be a sponsor for a child in foster care, adopt from foster care, adopt from any country, adopt a grandparent. Listen to where God is calling you, He will NOT lead you wrong:) When you listen He is just waiting to hand you blessing after blessing after blessing..............................................
Happy New Year to ALL, we hope you reap the blessings:)