Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mom is sick

I don't know who invited the stomach bug that visited me today, I am like Jerry Sinf*ld, I HATE to upchuck, vomit, barf, whatever. But today, it hit me like a truck. Out of the blue, hard as can be, and no, I'm not pregnant. Don't be starting that wild rumor.

Apparently a meeting I went to a few days ago has claimed quite a few victims of this vicious bug and I am just thankful if I DID have to barf, that I felt better not long afterwards.

I have no time to be sick. We have visas to apply for, a document missed by the agency to have authenticated in NY- ahhhhh, hopefully will be able to get everything lined up to leave Feb 19th. Yeah, I said it, Feb 19th. An actual DATE!!

We need- paper back from Consulate, visas, tickets- of course, horrible prices for traveling in Feb:( $800 for Chloe's fees, and our TA. We expect TA next week after everyone is back in from CNY- so late next week, early the second week of Feb would be good.

Will it all come together and we will really meet Miss Chloe girl on Feb 23??? We sure hope so!! Please let it be so, we are so ready for this...............

In other news, we were snowed in yesterday, no school again, guess the kids will be in school till mid July or something like that with all the make up days. Kat and I built a snow girl, isn't she cute???

Off to crash into my bed, so thankful for my bed today:)

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Multi tasking girl

Miss Kat gave us a chuckle this morning for sure.

I look over and she is lounged in her favorite Dora chair. The dog is on her trying to sleep,she is petting him with 4 fingers of one hand, while sucking her thumb of that hand. With her other hand she is playing her V-Sm*le. Wow. She is amazing.

We had a visit from one of our college friendship boys last night, along with his girlfriend. Kat just loves them, they went to China for their winter break, they brought me tea back and said they told their families they have "crazy, big American family." Yup, that's us alright.

I had to laugh when S decided he wanted kisses from Emily, she is quite tall and very pretty, he motioned with a finger for her to bend down ( as I am thinking oh NO!) but then he pointed to his cheek and said "kiss." The little Romeo:) Guess he didn't get that she is TAKEN!

He's not usually very loving toward anyone new, so this really surprised me. There's something about her though, when we had our baby he also responded to her voice and cooed for her the first time she met him! She is very sweet.

I placed a link and picture at the top right of our blog. If anyone is wondering why, I must tell you of the story of this family, briefly, they have a ton of kiddos, adopted from all over, they are committed to adopting as many as they can. They suffered a devastating fire that totalled their home.

Now I am placing their needs above the financial needs of us bringing our girl home, yes, we still have $$ needed, but I am SURE God will provide for us and we are to unselfishly give of our selves, even when we want to hang on to everything we have. I can not imagine how terrible it would be to have a fire burn up everything for 9 people in your home! The enormity of it, knowing it could have been US- just seems so overwhelming. Linn ( the mom) prayed for us when we were enduring getting our immigration approval for Chloe.

Today we will celebrate Spring Festival, the biggest Chinese Holiday there is. Mostly known to Americans as Chinese New Year. Since we are a day behind China, it is Chinese New Year there. They usually have the whole week off and gather with their families for celebrations. We are having a dinner with our college boys at the end of the week. We are very thankful for both our college boys, they have brought many wonderful things into our lives, we are also unendingly grateful for the honor to be 2 Chinese American girls' parents, they are true and cherished blessings.

Happy Chinese New Year to All.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


It's been really cold here. Trying to keep warm. Also packing and unpacking. Yeah, the reality of it is sinking in. I am going to China in a few weeks to meet our daughter:)

We are having a conference call tonight for the 6 families traveling. So we will know who is traveling where. I know the families are from all over. I hope they also say, " oh BTW, you have travel approval:) " wouldn't that be sweet?

A huge question seems to be who is taking care of the family while mom is gone?

I am soooo irreplaceable- ya know?

So Grandma ( Ron's mom) has graciously accepted the invitation to help replace me. Also my niece is coming to help with the foster boys in particular. They can be a handful and almost need 2 people if you do not know their quirks and needs, so this will be good for all. I have a 2 page and growing list of things to be done, it reads by day, which can be quite wild. Looking at it, I am amazed at all I accomplish most days. Who says SAHM's don't WORK?? Boy, are they dumb.

Cam fell out of bed the other night and busted his lip open, scared me right out of a nice sleep! I held ice on it for a little bit and he slept in our bed to make him feel better:)

Tallulah the puppy is doing well, she loves milk jugs, she has some really sharp little teeth! She will chase the jug then chew the crap out of it! Guess it's a good thing we shell out $4 a day for milk??? A new toy for Tallulah every day:)
We really enjoy her antics and she is getting along just fine, even the cat tolerates her to our surprise. We think it's more like she just has to put up with the little annoying fur ball since Tallulah can't hear her hissing and doesn't take the hint from being bopped a few times by the cat, the cat has just given up thinking the puppy is wayyyyyy stupid.

I think I might just be a tad bias but I swear Kat gets prettier each day. We got the most fabulous compliment this week, someone said they "forget" she is even Chinese she is soooo much our child, she just blended right in, no problems. Kat really has such a loving and sweet personality, she is a blessing we are thankful for each day.
We really hope we have such wonderful blending for Chloe, that she is happy and can relax in knowing we are her family, she got US. We are already thrilled to be her parents, we will take her no matter what issues we face with her. Our love & commitment to her is unconditional. Just as if she had been borne of us.

It's the year of our girl- the Year of Chloe. Can't wait to welcome her home........

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Am I her mommy?

My Dear daughter Kat, oh, how I love her. Spunk and ornery all packaged up in such a tiny little body. Off to the grocery store today, we went. We picked up a few small things for our trip, some snacks, a Ba*bie for Chloe. Lots of food, my cupboard was getting bare:) About a fourth of the way through the store, Miss Princess Kat decides her feet "just can't hold her any more." Now, she had been in the cart and walked about 5 minutes, so I was a bit skeptical about this claim.

So I apparently did not answer her Highness correctly so she starts this-"I NOT gonna be your girl anymore." Hummmmm... I said "okay, but I am still your momma." "Nope", she said "I find another momma." (Yeah they're lining up to kiss your toes right now baby girl:) So, as I do not get ruffled THIS easily and reply "really, you think so." She must have decided my buttons weren't being pushed and she she ran to me then, saying " you left me behind"- oh the DRAMA- I said "no, I did not-I was still in the same aisle and you were right behind me." "Oh," was all her Highness could come up with so then she said " can we get chicken?"

As a mother of an adopted child, I think I, like many others, feel I must be super alert to signs that something is on her mind about being adopted. But the longer she has been home the more I realize it's just the same as Camden asking why he has red hair- :) or any other question on life they all come up with. It's not really about adoption, it's about THEM. They all have those questions, they all need reconfirmed of our love and our desire to parent THEM. That they are special, they are wonderful to us, just as they are, no matter how they came to us.

Kat's issue? Chloe getting a Ba*bie. She decided later that they would SHARE the Ba*bie, and all is well in her world again. Making us understand that our choice to go older than her by adopting Miss Chloe at age 13 years will be a HUGE benefit to them both. I am so glad we walked right on through when the door to Chloe opened up. She is so loved, special and wanted!

Our boys are doing okay, they have saddened me this week, they are clearly grieving for all they have lost, each child must go through this, no matter how good a home we give them. They are understanding this is not just a different place to stay for awhile. They do not really understand why this has happened and they are sad. I hurt for them, it is hard to not wish to be able to fix this for them but we can not. We just love on them and give them the secure and safe place they can call home if they wish.

Mal had a rough week as well, she was clubbed in the face by a tennis racket when the gym teacher decided the kids should think up their own games to play with sports equipment. She got 3 stitches below the eyebrow and a really nice shiner out of that "game". Thank God it spared her eye.

My week ends with no school tomorrow- already cancelled for the bitter temps we are having, this gives the kids a lovely 4 day weekend. WEEE, joy joy, didn't we just have Christmas break???

Here's what Miss Kat has been up to, watching Big Bird in Japan. We have many copies of Big Bird in China and she watches that over and over, but we found Big Bird in Japan recently and she LOVES it. So here she is singing her favorite part........our future American Idol:) Me thinks she needs more practice to remember all the words and no laughing at her hiking up her pants, even with leggings on underneath she can't keep her britches up. Skinny bug.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

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We got some SNOW! We have been waiting for some time to get a decent snow, and as we went out to play we realized this one was too powdery to make a snow man but fun anyway:) We lasted about 45 minutes then in for tea and warming up.

Still happy to see it, it's so pretty, so white. We will send off a picture to Chloe of the snow so she can see what she will be coming home to:) We know she has seen snow but it's still fun to show her.

Seems odd to think we are just WEEKS away from going to get her, WEEKS> after all this time. We hope to see our Travel approval by the end of this month and travel looks to be around the 20th of Feb as a best guess at this point.

Enjoying the day, snow and all, nice that it came on a weekend and we don't HAVE to go anywhere today.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Meet Tallulah

Meet our newest member of the family Tallulah. A few months ago we got a BIG dog and for some reason thought it would be great for the kids, that it would be a big, happy, fun to play with, dog.
Well, it didn't quite go that way. We had to rehome him and he is VERY happy with room to run and play and doggie buddy, but our desire to have a playful pup did not go away.

So we were able to find this little girl- she is a Jack Russell, lots of playful energy, smart, small, not much hair, cute as can be, and we are IN LOVE. She is the sweetest little pup, already sleeping all night with mom, even snoring in my ear:)
Here's the kicker. We are pretty certain she is DEAF. Amazingly enough the home she came from had an older JR and she followed that doggie around and they didn't notice she didn't respond to any sounds.

So when she got here and Tommy, the Maltese was LESS than thrilled to see her, she was on her own and whimpered every time she couldn't see someone.
She did not seem to respond to being called and when we tested her with a few horns and even a dog came up behind her barking and she didn't even turn around, we were pretty sure she is deaf.
What does this mean? Well, she got the perfect home> we of course, do not care if she has a disability, we love her. We are teaching her hand signals to respond to, she is smart little bugger so she is learning. Tommy is also more accepting of her and will eventually let her follow his lead, right now that's kind of dangerous for him since she seems to think his tail is a toy:)
Poor Tommy. Isn't his expression priceless? He is basically my dog, he is really laid back and quiet, I know he is thinking "who is this wild pup and why is she is MY house?"

It is odd though, when she is doing something that you go, aaah ahh, at her, forgetting she can't hear. It also means the kids carrying on does not affect her, she rarely barks, she is very loving, preferring to be with someone at all times.
Camden is thrilled, he adores her. She is very tiny, just about 5 pounds. But tough, and she moves fast. So she can handle all the little feet in the house. I think she will be a total lovebug and we adore her.
She's sleeping on my shoulder right now! How could you NOT love this face?
Too cute!

Sunday, January 4, 2009


Hallelujah, I'm not going to even pretend I am the LEAST bit sorry school will be back in session in 12 hours. Yes, I am counting the hours. 13 days of these kids is enough to make any normal person insane. Good thing I am not normal, huh?

Yesterday S was in a snit all day. Yeah. The joys of mothering. Today he is MUCH better since I have his toys and he has to earn them back. Or I keep them. He is a very bright child and can totally understand toys are gone and WHY. So this tells me he understands this type of behavior is NOT acceptable here. I do notice any break in school- such as a vacation time throws him off kilter. He doesn't understand days but knows it's been longer than a weekend that he has been off school. He likes school, so this makes him mad. H did well today, better than most days :)

I have gotten everyone snacked (that's snacked NOT smacked), 2 hair trims, 3 boys showered and everyone in bed and it's 8:45 pm- hee hee.

I got the most wonderful e-mail today with PICTURES, my favorite things, of my precious Chloe girl, they are from 2004. When another child was adopted and she played with him, she obviously likes the smaller children and is a good helper with them. I can see now that she is going to adore Kat and I think that feeling will be mutual from Kat. Chloe looks so sweet, so young, and that haircut does nothing for her but it can't take away from how pretty she is. She's the one in pink, of course.

I am so proud of myself for accomplishing something. I was finally able to pick up my scrap booking where I left off, when the baby died. I am not sure what threw me for a loop about him dying that I did not want to touch any of the books. But I felt I HAD to finish his and make it a tribute to him and I wasn't sure I could do it, we got soooo many cards and wonderful support but I couldn't make myself end his story. But I did. With his poem I wrote for what should have been his 1st birthday and from there I caught up Cam's and started catching up on Kat's for her and for her Chinese grandparents. I still have some to go on hers but I am getting there.
What a relief to finally know I can move on and enjoy all their books, although I still cry looking at the baby's. Ahh tears not so much of sadness but of memories of him. Missing him- as only a momma can miss the weight of her baby in her arms. I think my left arm is still bigger from the right from holding him and his bigger head:) Just adds to my un-normalness- huh?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!

As we start a brand New Year, I find myself reflecting on the year past. How can we not?

As I think of the year, I can not think of any regrets! How cool is that? Usually I am pretty hard on myself. I'm fluffy, that's the first thing I regret, I didn't lose weight. My job, same one for 16 years, burn out time - regret to not look for another direction to take with my nursing skill. Regret to not spend enough time with God, not this past year. I GREW so much personally with God I am thankful for his presence in my life, that we are free to say that!

It's amazing to look back and know that I'm fluffy,my baby LOVED fluffy me. Our new boy LOVES fluffy me. I accept fluffy me, not to say I will not do anything about the fluff but I accept the fluff as a badge of honor, not as a burden.

Our baby, ohhh of course I gotta mention the baby. Wow. What a gift. No one else wanted to touch a child like him, many thought we were nuts, to take a child we KNEW would die? How could we? What about our kids? Well, he ended up showing us the amazing gift of pure love, to love with all your heart. He allowed us to learn many, many lessons, about caring for a disabled child, to the rudeness people face that are disabled, to fighting for his needs. My nursing went another direction and I found it was a direction I love. My skill was invaluable to him, he got a momma, nurse, caregiver, protector, all rolled into one. We were the PERFECT match for him.

Then as we grew from having to hand such a precious little man back to God, we were already in process and had found our Miss Chloe girl, going on blind faith, true BLIND faith that the funds we needed to complete her adoption would come, we got word we had been chosen for a grant. WOW> another leap of faith reward.

Our children have grown, they have been able to express their pain over losing the baby and have grown so much emotionally to know that to be different is a-okay. Tristan's death also allowed a terrible memory for Kat to surface and for her to obtain closure of it. That was such an amazing day, I wanted to cry for her so badly, to know something but not be able to tell it and know what happened, we had gotten hints of this issue from her since she came home but were not able to help her. Till Tristan.

Then came the boys. WOWSERS. What can I say. I never knew how involved autism is, how much it varies from person to person affected by it. My mother thinks the little guy "H" was put here to teach me some patience. NOT a strong suit for me, never has been, but I catch her chuckling ( NOT funny mom) when I tell her some of the things he does. He is a full time job, plus. Almost requires constant supervision. "S" is able to play and basically we have learned his quirks and are able to keep his outbursts to a minimum. He still has issues with being too loud, but he has come a long way. He tells me " you my best friend" -it's so funny.

H starts nearly every day "trying again" as we lose a huge portion of what he learned the day before, like the 5* first dates movie. Not as funny in real life, let me assure you:) I am sad for him, to have to go over everything again each day. He really tries too.

Our other wonder kiddos, I do not mention much, but they are well. Mal has a tough personal situation but she handles herself quite maturely and is a great help, she has blessed us with her goof of a boyfriend whom I really like, just don't tell him that. He didn't hesitate to hold our baby, soothe him and I was very impressed. He also fought to wear a skirt to play field hockey 'cause Mal plays. There's true love for ya!

Donovan has little patience for his younger siblings has learned with the new boys that Cam and Kat are not as annoying as he thought :) Guess he likes that they can be entertained with a movie or simple game.

The older boys are here often to bring me their laundry, borrow the car, and eat my food. I can't believe my oldest will be 24 this year, not that it means he is grown, other than in size. They all need their momma so I do not have to feel sad or lonely:) Such is why they have trouble understanding our adopting, they are happy to come back and act like teens again if it involves hand outs of money, ignoring chores and mom cooks:) Ha Ha guys, doesn't work that way- you had your turns.

They actually are great big bro's, the little ones are just thrilled when they come, I always hear " JAY" when he comes in and it's them. I bet he could never sneak in:)

Kat said to me today, I thought you said we go get Chloe tomorrow, one sleep. I said "NO, I said SOON." She said "ahhhh comm"on, what's with that?" Okay then. She clearly shares my impatience. H also thinks for some reason as he is trying to understand we have a girl named Chloe, that she belongs here, but we have to take a trip to go get her- he says "I'm going"- well, no, no you are not. It's not next door. He does not understand that at all. He's very funny.

Well, as I wrap up my overlook of the year in review, I must say 2008 was great. My New Year's resolution? Bring home Chloe, of course.

2009 the Year of Chloe. More blessings. We are honored to become parents again. We truely hope our journey will open eyes to the love of a child, 12,13, 14, doesn't matter, a child needs FAMILY. They are not TOO OLD> we are filled with joy at being Chloe's parents and wish for others to consider taking the chance on love, we assure you that you will be blessed.

We do not advocate just for Chinese children either. Foster if you can, be a mentor, be a sponsor for a child in foster care, adopt from foster care, adopt from any country, adopt a grandparent. Listen to where God is calling you, He will NOT lead you wrong:) When you listen He is just waiting to hand you blessing after blessing after blessing..............................................

Happy New Year to ALL, we hope you reap the blessings:)