Friday, February 29, 2008

The Baby Boy stays

Yes, it's official after a court hearing. The baby stays. Mommy realized he needs more medical care than she can handle, she was hurting though, I felt so bad for her. I know she just wants to sweep him up in her arms and love him till he passes but we do not know when that will be and he must be cared for in the meantime. She has no support to help her. We started our scrapbooks and she spent the night here with him last night. My prayers are with her for peace in her heart that she gave him what was best.

Kat is feeling better and seems to have gotten over the cold she had very quickly. Although she dropped 2 pounds, back to 28 and we had just gotten her to 30 lbs. No meat on her bones. She just didn't feel like eating when sick. Can't blame her. Now mom is sick with a sinus infection, but on antibiotics before it gets any worse. Haven't lost a pound either, unlike my tiny girl :)

Camden was telling her the other day how to hide picking your nose. Such great things to learn from your brother. He said to take finger and RUB along side nose to make it look like you are picking your nose. Thanks Camden.

I went to a committee meeting for foster care, to improved our foster families support system and learning hours. My BFF Kath came on in and this time it was the dining room she hit. Turned the table around, cleaned, she was amazed by the amount of shoes we all have, kind of shameful that we have so many for only 7 people living here and I don't think we can count Mr. T's little cloth shoes of which he has one pair:) Boy, are they ever cute though. I am finishing up what she started by sorting old mail, shredding mail, putting away shoes and it feels good to be accomplishing something, as I feel so behind on everything from putting life on hold for Mr. T to settle in. Not that we regret one second of that. I swear he gets sweeter every day.

Camden was talking to him last night while the nurse had him and he was wide awake, he told the nurse that the baby really likes him since he looks so much like me and I am the baby's favorite all time person. Such a goof. He makes me laugh so much.

Kat is now a local celebrity of sorts, she had her picture printed in a local newspaper Sunday edition under community news, I sent in one of her playing last year in her first ever snow. And they published it within 2 weeks! She did look so cute scrunching up her face in delight with the snow all around her.

We have found the oddest thing has happened with the little man here now. Our pup, Tommy Boy, has always been MY dog. Wherever I am, Tommy is. But with Mr. T having nurses come at night to watch over him every few nights, the dog will lay on the back of the couch over the baby and watch the nurse all night long. He refuses to leave the baby. Not even to hog mom's pillow! It's as if he knows there is something wrong with Mr. T and he must protect him. I laid the baby down on the chair one day to get his feeding ready and when I came back the dog was laying on the chair watching over him. It's just so neat that he has a protector, albeit a furry tiny thing that couldn't hurt a flea :) Oddly enough when baby's mommy comes to stay, Tommy goes to bed with us. Guess we have a smart dog!

We're getting more snow tonight for Kat to play in and enjoy. Our winter is nowhere near over and our March is coming in like a LION, for sure. Tomorrow should be fun when it's all done snowing as we are to get 6 inches overnight. So pretty and serene.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Kat's not feeling well

Poor Kat. It is soooo obvious when she does not feel well. She is just pitiful looking. Fever for 2 day, runny nose. The only time we saw a smile is when she was told to climb in our bed, she loves to snuggle in our bed. Camden is saying his throat hurts too. Yuck. The 2 sickies are asleep in our bed now, after fussing about how awful they felt.

The baby is doing well, he is getting settled in nicely. We have nurses coming now to relieve me some nights and it is helping tremendously. Also his mommy was invited by us to come and spend the night with him. She made the neatest comment, that we are "tag team parenting" him. So true. She is such a special person to allow us to share in the blessing of her son. We love him dearly and her as well.
The baby has all his "equipment" for his care and his crib downstairs and the nurses that come at night are downstairs with him. I stay on the couch the nights I have him, to minimize the disruption to the household with his crying. Not that he cries so much as grunts, we call him the angry squirrel and laugh when he gets started with that "ruuuunnnttt, ruuuuunt, ruuuunttt, that tells us he is gearing up to cry. He usually doesn't get to the cry unless someone in the house doesn't get to him, that's pretty unusual with all of us available to coddle him. He is stable presently and GROWING, right out of that preemie stuff he went, to size 1 diapers! Almost 2 pounds on him since he came here.
Camden dealt with his need for understanding today of Mr. T's condition. Our conversation went like this-

Camden- "mom is he my brother?"

Mom- "yes"

Camden- "my real brother"

Mom "yes, we don't have any fake people here :)"

Camden- " I wish he didn't have to die"

Mom "Well, he wasn't supposed to live when he was born but he did, so every day we have him to hold, kiss and love is a blessing and a special gift."

Camden- "what happens if he dies in your arms?"

Mom- (thinking Please God give me strength if that happens) "I will kiss him, hold him, say goodbye, and know that he is an angel baby with God."

Camden- "He'll be the cutest angel baby, huh?"
Mom "For sure, for sure!"

Gosh I love my kids so much. Camden is such a caring and sweet little guy, he is is so gentle and good with Mr. T. All my kids are very caring and loving, I feel so blessed to know that.

Jay wrote from Basic Training asking for us to write to a buddy of his that gets no mail. So we are doing that, along with having sent the "hidden chocolate" box and waiting of word if we got past the meanies. I placed cookies in the box in the open hoping they would not search the tissue box we hid chocolate bars in by taping them to the bottom and back, then reglued the flap. Even if they caught them, he is 9 th in the Batallion for his physical agility so I think a few 100 push ups or so are not going to kill him and imagine how yummy that chocolate will be!

I have a SUPER friend, Kathy, who allowed me to get a break this past week. After knowing I had a court hearing for C- he's with us another 5 months- then a school meeting for H- learning support is now in place, I was in need of a hair cut and errand time. Kathy came in, swallowed her squemishness over the baby's feeding tube, sent me on my way, calls me in the middle of my haircut to ask for bleach to which I told her- Kat is meant to be yellow, she will not turn white for anything- ha ha- and she promptly replied, "I'm going to feed it to the kids, give up the bleach location and GOODBYE!" So as I considered abandoning my hair halfway, I decided to trust her and off I went to complete my shopping of a new outfit for my meetings, b-day gifts for my mom and Brandon, mailing Jay's precious chocolate box, etc. It was so strange to run in and out of places and not be taking a child, " come on Kat, hurry up Kat, it's cold, the baby is crying, get buckled in car seat Kat" and her saying "I do it" then it taking 10 minutes for her to "do it". AHHHH- I was in shock and I think was talking to myself, I got some weird looks aimed my way.
So after another phone call that I forgot to tell hubby and friend both that hubby comes home for lunch and friend told hubby- "hi there, we are doing wife swap, I'm your new wife" to which he was not amused- gotta love her sense of humor though. I arrived home to find my 2 kiddos happy, fed, changed, my kitchen CLEANED and even my dog was happy. WOW- this place doesn't fall apart without me. Talk about a NEEDED break. Best of all I learned to let go, let someone else come in and just be thankful for the help, enjoy my time away and she was so good to help me. I thnak her from the bottom of my heart. She is even planning to come every week- WOW and give me a free day each week. What a friend. She is also a foster parent, a good one too, she is so caring. She takes mainly teens but wanted to see if she would feel comfortable with a baby or young child with a medical issue, so if the need ever arises.

I paid her back in Truffles, I wanted to get her Bon Bon's as we have this standing joke that the teens we foster always seem to think we lay in bed till noon and eat Bon Bon's, as they were telling each other that Kath and I "sleep in till 10 sometimes!!" Oh my, how awful, huh? They don't tell you that I worked until 3 am, or Kath was up worrying half the night about them, they just like to make it sound like we are bums. Part of taking in teens. They love to make DRAMA> so we tease each other now about sleeping in the longest and eating Bon Bons. She loved the Truffles though. She really said she loved helping, it made her feel useful, and I was so glad to have her. My deepest thanks to you, Kath, you are a true friend. There when I need you, even when I didn't think I did so badly, but after going out and feeling so much better after I realized I did need you to come, thanks for bullying me to accept the help.
Time for the baby's feeding, so off I go.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Life gets better

What a change a few days can make in your life. Always remember that when you are down :)

Our biggest change is the baby boy. I spoke to mommy and we seemed to have gotten some misunderstandings out of the way. First and foremost she is his mommy. We WANT her to be his mommy and be in his life. We do not want to keep him from her and yet, his medical needs are so great he NEEDS to be living with a nurse (me) caring for him. And his condition will only worsen. Mommy knows that and with her not having good support she was worried she would not be able to care for him. She really loves him so much, that is obvious. So when we cleared up the fact we want her here and involved, we are a team in his care and more people to love him all the time, she said she wanted to leave him in our care.

We realize she can change her mind, but I feel we at least cleared up things that should have been brought up before but with us sick, sleep deprived and new baby in the house zombiness, we were not too clear beyond meeting baby's needs at first. I'm so glad she came over and we got the chance to discuss what is best for this precious baby boy. His mommy and I, his mum, are going to work on scrapbooks together for her and us to have a wonderful keepsakes of his life.

Yesterday our family ventured out for the first time with baby to go shopping, Kat needed socks, and we got the scrapbooking stuff. We also got the little man some hats. We seemed to miss buying all the stuff on our list, but Baba did find a TV he is interested in- a plasma one, of course. We are thinking MAYBE with our income tax or those nice economic boost checks we are supposed to get this spring. We will see.

Our boy, Jay, in Basic training is dying of starvation and cravings for chocolate. (can tell he's mine!) So we are blessed with foster children who have been in group placement where they apparently are taught all kinds of devious stuff, like how to hide things in shaving cream cans, etc. So we will be hiding chocolate and sending it on. SHHH- don't tell his fearless leader, if he is caught he will be doing push ups, but as long as they aren't coming to me and making me do the push ups, then fine by me :)

We are getting in the groove now of our baby days, showering before noon is not usual but at least showering every day is occuring:) I will be getting relief soon, there will be a few nights each week a nurse comes to do the night turn with Mr. T. So Mum doesn't get so run down she can't care for him. He is a bugger at night still, up many, many times. Can't seem to get a good place with him for comfort with his pump feedings. I'm sure it will be hard for me to realize someone else is going to get him and I can sleep thru, I hear his every grunt now, we laugh and say he sounds like a mad squirrel when is is gearing up to cry, not that he cries much during the day at all. Just when he needs something.

Kat is doing well thru all this, no jealously at all, she is very good about me needing to hold him often and with his issues. She said yesterday " baby have boo boo in his head and doctor fix it?" I said "No, doctor can't fix it." She said "he gonna die". I said "Yes, he will sometime, but not right now." She says then "Kat not have boo boo's in her head" and I agreed. That was the end of that. It's amazing how she can accept this better than many of us adults. We are just totally honest and take each day with him as a true blessing. Sleeplessness and all :)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So I've had a bad day

Typing in blue as that's my mood. Not only am I exhausted from caring for an infant with feeding issues, today I am told his mommy "wants him back". I am not someone who wants to "take" anyone's child and keep it from them. Far from it. I encourage involvement, our concern here is that he will not get the care he needs as she does not have good support and it takes all of us here to care for him. Mainly me, but everyone pitches in. So prayers for her and this precious little guy are in order. Prayers that if she can't take him and care for him she will see that and leave him here. We love him. His condition is grave, we know that, but we love on him as much as humanly possible so he knows LOVE, for whatever life he has. We want what is best for him, no matter what that is.

Kat and Camden were thrilled today for 2 reasons. NO SCHOOL- it's STILL snowing here, after 6 inches of the white fluffy stuff coming down all day and they are taking bets on the possibility of no school tomorrow as the tail end of the storm is supposed to be a layer of ice and we haven't even gotten to that yet. They spent the day fighting over DS games, TV channels, kissing the baby, you name it. Fun, fun for mom.
Secondly, the mail did go ( can't stop the postman) and we got a package from China. The cutest ever quilted silk dress with faux fur trim for Kat, she had to wear it and even had C take her to the sitter's to show off her "China clothes." Po Po sent Camden a jacket set too, it's a bit small but he loves it anyway. He asked Kat what it said on the front and she said "China dragon" looking at the picture. He said " she can't read Chinese mom!" and I said "well, neither can I! Kat got a matching purse too and had to have "mongee" for in it. Po Po and Wai Gong are such wonderful "grandparents" to our precious girl.

My other "blue" happening today. Actually happened yesterday but took son #1 a day to call and admit to what he did. He WREAKED my new car. He asked to take it last night on a snack run and he tried to put it back in the garage and he scraped up the passenger side pretty bad. He said "$100 worth of damage" HA- I looked at it and it's more like $500. Baba was mad that I did not get more upset, but I look at it this way- it's not a child. My kids are safe. He did not get hurt. It's fixable. I just can't make myself upset when I did the same thing in the van a few years back. I did not like him waiting to tell me, I told him NEVER to do that again. And needless to say, he will not be borrowing my car again. But again, it's a thing, it doesn't meet my upset quota.

Kat has been singing the "You are my Sunshine" song all the time, we talk of when we came to China to get her, that she cried and I sang that song to her to make her happy and not cry. So she LOVES to hear that song. She sings it to me all the time and then tells me- "your turn mommy" and I must sing it to her. Sometimes I hold her like I did at Gotcha and sing it in her ear just like I did then. She LOVES to hear her story, it makes her happy to hear of how we wanted to be her mommy and baba so badly.

If she only knew how very much we did want her and are so happy to be her parents she would never doubt for an instant how loved she is. But for any insecure moments she has, we reassure her of this unending love for her we have, I tell her good, bad, crying, happy, in the bath, sleeping, eating, in trouble, laughing, we love her no matter what and she is our girl. She is so happy to hear that, she will go over and over each thing, good, bad, sleeping, bathing and say " you wuv me?" with each one. And I say YES, we sure do. This has helped her tremendously, as she seemed to think if she was bad we would not love her and even asked when she got in trouble, "you not love me?" so after I started telling her I love her no matter what she is doing she has stopped saying "you not wuv me" when she gets in trouble. No doubt about it, we love our girl :) and she's knowing it!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Happy Chinese New Year, the Year of the Rat!

Kat's shirt says " Gimme some sugar" and does she ever!! It's Hello Kitty, of course:) She is so pretty, inside and out.

We celebrated this day of our daughter's heritage by eating Chinese food and talking of her time with her Po Po (grandma), whom she misses and wants to visit. We have our Chinese candle decorations out and we are happy to say our family in China are well, if not COLD. China is experiencing the coldest weather in history and many orphanages and homes are NOT heated, our family's included and they are not used to this cold.

We would have liked to have gone out but the house is full of illness. We have 2 down with the flu, 2 with colds, including mom which also means asthma issues.
The baby boy is doing well other than an infection of his port to take nourishment by in his stomach. That is fairly common with such things. He is doing tons better with his sleep, other than mum keeping him up with her coughing which annoys him greatly.
Mr. T's mommy had him baptized on Tuesday, a nice ceremony but when she took off upstairs with him in the car seat Miss Kitty started to silently cry. I did not get out of her what the issue was for a few moments but she thought his mommy was taking him away. When I reassured her he was indeed coming home with us, she was happy again. Wow, and I thought she wasn't so fond of him. She really hadn't said much until Tuesday morning when she said " I wuv T, do you luv T?"

I managed to work one night this week and the Home Nurses came to care for Mr. T. I love thinking of him as Mr. T, the ROUGH, BURLY, HUGE guy off of "the A Team" show from years ago. This is far from the reality of this baby but it makes such a picture of him as a fighter! Anyway, Miss Kat enjoyed having the nurses here and was showing them all how to play her DS and loving on them all. They really enjoyed her and the baby.

We almost LOST the Nintendo DS as Kat laid it down at the doctor's during an appointment for the baby and till I realized it was gone we were out of the office and heading home. I called and they had it at the desk. I was sooo thankful someone didn't take it. Kat was near tears when she realized she had lost it.

Our wonderful friend who sent us the sling for the baby was sooo sweet to send Kat one too for her baby. She "wears" her baby and when I parked Mr. T with Baba to prepare his food, her baby ended up being watched by Baba too! Too cute not to post a picture of that! I was going to post a picture of me wearing the baby till I saw the raccoon eyes I had, the slobber on my shirt and said- nope, not going public with that!
Survivor started tonight- WOOO HOOO! I am a DIE HARD Survivor fan and I think Mr. Johnny Fairplay has done some growing up. Too cool to admit you just want to be home supporting the coming birth of your child.
Off to put the kiddos to bed and say our prayers of thanks. We have so much to be thankful for. Happy Chinese New Year to All!