Friday, October 31, 2008

Oh no, It's ALL about ME?

Okay, I have tagged twice so I guess I have to respond. Who wants to know anything about ME?? I'm not so sure. But here goes.......

1. Can't stand socks, don't wear them unless I have to and they come off as soon as possible. I wear sandals or clogs till I am laughed and shamed into wearing socks and real shoes sometime in Jan. or Feb.

2. I like tropical Skittles but I take them and sort them into little piles by color to eat them. I've been called OCD so don't think I don't KNOW.

3. When I was a kid we all went as a family to my Great Aunts' house every Sunday after church for dinner ( I LOVE traditions) and we had Aunt Stella's homemade sweet pickles with mashed potatoes, we scooped the potatoes with the pickles and ate them- to this day I LOVE this food combo, but can't find pickles like Aunt Stella's- no way, not even close. But I can dream.

4. As a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a MOM- the nurse part was more incidental. But suits me too:) I am soooo glad the mom part came true so many times- and hope for MORE:)

5. I have a plaque that survived 9 moves in my adult lifetime including to Germany and back, a few marriages, many kids, that my hubby made me when he was 16 and I was 14. He made it in wood shop and it says "Vickie." I kept it all those years and it hangs in our living room in a place of honor. ( yeah we have one of those great love stories, we were together as first loves, went our separate ways, married others, had kids, came back to each other, both were single again and realize we were always in love with each other. Married happily ever after :) That plaque is one special piece of wood:)

6. I love to do crafts but I can not crochet. I wish I could, it looks easy, but all I can do is one row with my fingers. I think the hooks were made to stab yourself with when you get so frustrated 'cause you can't do it. I give up. Don't get me started on me and sewing machines. AHHHHH.

7. I am a photo- holic. I had over 1000 pics of the baby to be printed, this did not include ones already printed and scrap booked during his short life when we went to make the 4 tri-fold poster boards for his memorial service. Needless to say, we did not miss a day of his life. Weird? Well, okay. I accept the title with pleasure.

Okay I did it. Seven crazy and wacky things all about me. Didn't even take me too awful long either.

I am not tagging anyone else 'cause I just don't feel like it. How's that for stubborn? No, actually it's been a rough week. Not even about the baby, we miss him, not wanting him back here to be in pain, but we just miss HIM being HERE. No more kisses, ohhhh's from him, these are the things we loved about him and will miss for some time.

To top things off we are now foster less. We made a very painful decision to have the 18 year old girl removed from our home. In our time of grief she saw fit to be compiling a list of "wrongdoings" that she perceived we were doing and we just felt that this girl's need for DRAMA far outweighed what we are able to tolerate. Our life is NOT about drama and we told her that from the beginning.

Being as drama -free as possible with teens in the house, is how we provide the stable, loving and secure environment that we feel best nurtures all children into healthy adults. Life is not just about ONE person and when you try to make it that, you can lose sight of the importance of LIVING, loving and caring about others. She was the first we have ever had removed so this was a long and painful decision for us. We do not ever want to think we failed a child, but in this case, we clearly did not. She was unable to accept a normal way of life. I've always said fostering is not for wimps, it is really hard but totally worth it, we still feel this way.

There very well could be a reason God showed us this, maybe we have another child in our future that will really NEED our home and we are now open to accept another. Maybe I am meant to go to China soon and this is why? We do not know, I just pray all will work out in His time as I try not to get more and more paranoid that time is slipping by and if we do not hear something soon we will be looking at the heartbreak of NOT having Chloe home for Christmas. Hard not to feel as October comes to a close that we have been slammed this month but we stand strong in our faith and know there is a bigger plan in the works and I just have to learn to be more patient to see it revealed. Ahhh, that patience thing AGAIN. Man. I really am NOT good with that, but I'm trying:)

1 comment:

Lori Lynn said...

What a beautiful post! I am sooooooooooo looking forward to seeing your Chloe come home. It has been heartbreaking to follow your loss. I have often thought about foster care, but I feel that we are just not ready at this stage in our lives. Selfishly, things are just perfect and I don't want to change that too soon.

I really admire your whole family.

Lori W