Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So I've had a bad day

Typing in blue as that's my mood. Not only am I exhausted from caring for an infant with feeding issues, today I am told his mommy "wants him back". I am not someone who wants to "take" anyone's child and keep it from them. Far from it. I encourage involvement, our concern here is that he will not get the care he needs as she does not have good support and it takes all of us here to care for him. Mainly me, but everyone pitches in. So prayers for her and this precious little guy are in order. Prayers that if she can't take him and care for him she will see that and leave him here. We love him. His condition is grave, we know that, but we love on him as much as humanly possible so he knows LOVE, for whatever life he has. We want what is best for him, no matter what that is.

Kat and Camden were thrilled today for 2 reasons. NO SCHOOL- it's STILL snowing here, after 6 inches of the white fluffy stuff coming down all day and they are taking bets on the possibility of no school tomorrow as the tail end of the storm is supposed to be a layer of ice and we haven't even gotten to that yet. They spent the day fighting over DS games, TV channels, kissing the baby, you name it. Fun, fun for mom.
Secondly, the mail did go ( can't stop the postman) and we got a package from China. The cutest ever quilted silk dress with faux fur trim for Kat, she had to wear it and even had C take her to the sitter's to show off her "China clothes." Po Po sent Camden a jacket set too, it's a bit small but he loves it anyway. He asked Kat what it said on the front and she said "China dragon" looking at the picture. He said " she can't read Chinese mom!" and I said "well, neither can I! Kat got a matching purse too and had to have "mongee" for in it. Po Po and Wai Gong are such wonderful "grandparents" to our precious girl.

My other "blue" happening today. Actually happened yesterday but took son #1 a day to call and admit to what he did. He WREAKED my new car. He asked to take it last night on a snack run and he tried to put it back in the garage and he scraped up the passenger side pretty bad. He said "$100 worth of damage" HA- I looked at it and it's more like $500. Baba was mad that I did not get more upset, but I look at it this way- it's not a child. My kids are safe. He did not get hurt. It's fixable. I just can't make myself upset when I did the same thing in the van a few years back. I did not like him waiting to tell me, I told him NEVER to do that again. And needless to say, he will not be borrowing my car again. But again, it's a thing, it doesn't meet my upset quota.

Kat has been singing the "You are my Sunshine" song all the time, we talk of when we came to China to get her, that she cried and I sang that song to her to make her happy and not cry. So she LOVES to hear that song. She sings it to me all the time and then tells me- "your turn mommy" and I must sing it to her. Sometimes I hold her like I did at Gotcha and sing it in her ear just like I did then. She LOVES to hear her story, it makes her happy to hear of how we wanted to be her mommy and baba so badly.

If she only knew how very much we did want her and are so happy to be her parents she would never doubt for an instant how loved she is. But for any insecure moments she has, we reassure her of this unending love for her we have, I tell her good, bad, crying, happy, in the bath, sleeping, eating, in trouble, laughing, we love her no matter what and she is our girl. She is so happy to hear that, she will go over and over each thing, good, bad, sleeping, bathing and say " you wuv me?" with each one. And I say YES, we sure do. This has helped her tremendously, as she seemed to think if she was bad we would not love her and even asked when she got in trouble, "you not love me?" so after I started telling her I love her no matter what she is doing she has stopped saying "you not wuv me" when she gets in trouble. No doubt about it, we love our girl :) and she's knowing it!


Andie said...

LOVE hearing Kat sing...what a doll! It's great that she is now secure in your love. What a blessing that Popo still wants to be a part of Kat's life...that's amazing.
About Mr.T, that's so hard. I can remember my aunt crying after her foster kids were sent back to their family. If that is what is best for the child, then great...but when you know in your heart that it isn't, it's very difficult. You really get to love these kids, knowing that they will only be with you temporarily doesn't mean you don't love them. Sending them on to better situations makes the loss easier, but when you aren't sure it is a better situation...gosh, I feel for you. I will be praying for you, and Mr. T (and his mommy).

Blessings my friend-

PS...cute card!

Andi68 said...

Loved Kitty Kat singing. Jamie does that all the time. She is still singing Christmas songs. Sometimes it takes me awhile to figure out what she is singing.
I, too, will pray for Mr.T and his mommy, and your family.